Strangers touching your pregnant tummy

[jasper]

I am 30 weeks pregnant . I am beginning to dislike going to work because every day this week someone I don't know very well has touched/rubbed my pregnant tummy and I HATE it! I know it is quite common for people to do this but for some reason it did not happen much with the last baby. This time my tummy seems to be a free for all zone! I don't mind if friends who know me well ask if they can feel the bump but I really don't like acquaintences just reaching out to touch it. Also I don't like the way some people just stare at your tummy, often saying thigs like "ooh, you're really big, aren't you". I mean, no woman wants to be described as really big, whether pregnant or not, do they?
Do the rest of you feel this way? I realise it is probably some kind of backhanded compliment that people feel free to touch your pregnant tummy, but it kind of gives me the creeps.

[Dummyhunter]

l hated people touching my bump even my dh and mum

dh had a t shirt made for me saying 'do not touch my bump or my hormones might rip your head off' not very subtle but it worked

[CrazyPlateLady]

Cocoa nope I didn't notice that!

How did such an old thread come up!?

[CrazyPlateLady]

I loathe this with a passion. I have had a previous thread on being literally groped by my MIL who had been previously told to stop touching my belly but she carried on anyway. Now she stares intently asking if the baby is moving. If it was I wouldn't tell her!

I have only had one stranger do it, the woman who was serving me in the jewellers. I didn't like it but as she was serving me I didn't like to say anything, I am a wimp who will avoid confrontation at all costs.

My friends know how I feel but they ask, which is fine. I am close to them and see them all the time. For some reason, this time I don't like DH doing it which makes me feel awful. Last time I was desperate for him to feel every little kick, but this time I just don't want him to touch me at all. Doesn't help that this baby is far lower than DS was any any touching is getting a bit too low down for comfort.

I have never felt the urge to touch another pregnant woman either, I don't know why people do.

I don't like my size being commented on either.

[CocoPopsAddict]

Has anyone else noticed that this thread is nearly ten years old?!

I don't let strangers touch me - I just step backwards!

[tebbles]

I have never even thought to touch someone pregnant belly, even close friends! It is their stomach and I wouldnt normally touch it and expecially not when their pregnant as I wouldn't want to invade their and their baby's personal space.

I have never understood why people would want to touch it either? I can understand your husband and your children but not friends and especially not strangers. I plan on being very protective and standoff-ish about my belly.

If someone tries to I will say that I have a sore stomach/sickness.

[thefurryone]

This happened to me for the first time a couple of days ago, I do know the person but still it was a bit weird. I would never even consider touching anyone elses.

[LilRedWG]

I preempt the comments ony huge bump by saying, "Yes. I know, I'm enormous for dates". As for touching, I hate it; unless it's DH or DD. MIL and I were discussing the way total strangers feel that they have free rein to feel when FIL piped up, "I agree, that's not nice, but I have a right as I'm you FIL". I didn't comment and tend to try and protect my stomach at all times.

[WanderingSheep]

Cupcakebakerer - I used to comment on the size of pregnant women before I ever came on MN only in an excited "ooh aren't you getting big!" way but I will never ever say anything like that ever again! The only things I'll say now are things like, "oh you're blooming/looking lovely/your bump is so lovely and neat!"

[MrsChemist]

I worked in a pub whilst pregnant and a weird guy went to kiss my stomach.
Yes, kiss it.
I'd already asked him to leave because he was a weirdo, so I quickly backed away and said, "don't touch me, and get out of my pub."

I dislike people touching me at the best of times as well.

[WanderingSheep]

Nobody has ever done it to me apart from my friend and she only did it once and I didn't really mind. I don't mind it, TBH. When my SIL was pg her cousin (male) was stroking her bump for ages saying, "ooh, I love it!" I think that would bother me.

You need to get one of those t shirts that say "hands off the bump!"

[cupcakebakerer]

I now feel bad for all the times I've done it to other women pre my own pregnancy experience! Never again.

[cupcakebakerer]

I know this is awful but I dislike my close family doing it - I have no idea why but to me it just feels like they are touching tummy not baby! I also feel like they feel they have to feign interest and touch it. Only like my hubby touching it and that's it.

[Cyclebump]

I don't mind if people ask but I too HATE it. A friend sent me a link to a site that sells t-shirts not to touch!

It's this page and I am seriously considering investing in one!

[beckylou1983]

If someone says Eeeh arent you big, I always reply with "yep but at least I know I'll be back to normal once baby is here, what about you??". Yes I know its offensive BUT they have no right to comment on our size!!!

As for bump touching.....I touch their bellys too! Im horrible arent I lol. If someone asks then Ill let them but its when someone does it out of the blue...GET OFF ITS MY BODY!!! Drives me insane!!! xx

[theevildead2]

*no problem

[theevildead2]

If i like the person I have problem with it. Haven't had many peopel ask though (everyone seems to just think I'm really fat)

I got my friend's husband to touch it though... we are working on him together for her!

[Diamondback]

I think when we're pregnant we need to learn to stick our elbows out a bit more and just be blunt. A quick 'I didn't realise we knew each other so well' or 'have we been introduced?' or even just 'don't do that'!

If we're wusses about setting boundaries now, next thing is everyone wanting to comment on our parenting skills, telling us how to raise our kids, etc, etc. They can all bugger off!

[ReshapeWhileDamp]

I don't mind friends doing it without asking, as long as it's gentle and not a big pat or hug. Never had a stranger do it. But every time I go out, I get the Huge comments, shock/horror because I'm not due that week with twins, etc.

[PipPipPip]

I agree that it is invasive and annoying BUT I guess people are genuinely fascinated by birth. After all, we all started out as bumps and some people haven't known many pregnant people - so are just kinda 'drawn' to the bump!

I think it is TOTALLY acceptable to ask them not to, or move away, and to feel uncomfortable about it. Perhaps you could just say "I'm not really a touchy person, thanks" and move away.

But please don't let it freak you out toooo much. I don't think these people are creeps, they are just kinda fascinated/interested but don't really know how to express it.

[TooImmature2BMum]

Only one person has touched mine so far apart from DH and close friends - she was a Polish girl at work who had just come back from maternity leave herself, and she said it was good luck to touch pregnant bumps. I didn't mind her doing it, even though I don't know her very well. Is it just in Poland that it's good luck, or is it more widespread?

[geekygiraffe]

I'm 30 weeks and no-one has asked for a feel. (VERY happy about this, but also a bit offended!). Only one stranger has commented - woman in bookshop asked 'Got long to go?' Maybe I should leave the house more.

[AlpinePony]

Don't sit on the fence broccoli - tell us how you feel!

[broccolitrees]

wouldn't not would!
crikey three posts to get my point across - that's what baby brain does for you

[broccolitrees]

i would let just anyone else do it and if you don't like it, you should be able to feel free to tell them where to get off