Cat and baby advice

[benne81]

I'm 37 weeks pregnant and getting increasingly concerned about what I'm going to do about my cat when the baby arrives. The situation is made particularly difficult in that I live in a typical london flat so bare with me.

We live in a two bedroom flat and our main bedroom leads out via double doors onto a garden and this is where we have the cat flap (it is the only place we can have the cat flap to lead to the back garden). The second bedroom is the nursery which is ready and raring to go and we have kept the cat out of that room. We also have a kictchen, bathroom and living room but the door to the living room is closed to the cat in the evening so she doesn't rag the sofa.

My issue is that the cat sleeps in our bedrooom every night until about 5am in the morning and then goes out (we have an electric catflap that keeps her in in the evening becuase she fights with the neighbours cat) but we will have the baby and moses basket in our room initially as well. My concern is that the cat may be tempted to nip in the moses basket with the baby and the possible risk of suffocation and yet I have read that the baby should sleep in the same room as you for the 1st six months. Closing the door on the cat will be impossible as she will just a yell and keep us awake all evening.

My husband is just doing that 'don't worry it will be fine' which I originally went along with but now I'm beginning to panic - anyone else shared a room with a baby and a cat? Anyone put the baby in the nursery with a baby monitor from a young age? Anyone any suggestions?

Sorry for the hefty post

[TheBride]

eurochick "I would have thought the cat-free nursery would be safer, tbh."

Well, me too, but then I'd have to admit putting DS in own room at 6 wks and if the SIDS brigade find this thread I'll be strung up, despite a clear balance of risk in this case in favour of that option.

My cats are quite timid tbh, or at least both are wary of people/strange situations. They were both strays and I suspect one was born stray as she was terrified of people and hid behind the TV cabinet for the first 2 mths (this was pre-DS). She's reasonably friendly now, but, eg, I've never been able to pick her up.

[Oeisha]

roz My boys are mogs, but with definite siamese/burmese in them (they're tipped, rangey, vocal and needy). They're both very chatty and affectionate...bless 'em. Anyway, yes, I have the same worries. They've already almost toppled me on the stairs a few times...Luckily we have a 'half way refuge' that I now stop on every time for a few moments and wait for the hooves to pass before I continue.
The suggestion is, to specifically make time for needy-kitties. Make sure they know their boundaries. So, if you're holding baby a "NO!" and a 1/2-finger tap on the nose/spritz with water. BUT when you have time, do some playing/fussing with them, call them over with treats and make a REAL fuss for a good 10-20mins...and remember to do it. Or, if not quite that high maintainance, ignore whilst with baby and then praise and cuddle immediatly after leaving baby, so they 'get their turn'. They're usually intelligent enough to figure mum+baby=not my time.
Oh, and all with kitties, don't be surprised if your cat's meows change a bit and they start to drive you mental with concern. Cats attune their meows to be similar in frequency to babys crying...to get your attention for quickly...canny wee buggers.

[roz1982]

I'm a bit worried about this as I have a half Siamese cat who is sooooo persistent and so naughty!!! I can't bear the thought of cat getting anywhere near cot, Moses basket, pram etc and leaving cat hairs and bits of crap all over!!! She's very bitty as well so unless she is well supervised (the cat, that is!) she will be staying well out the way in the kitchen when baby arrives! She gets under your feet as well and I keep having visions of a sleep deprived me going arse over tit with babe in arms because cat is running amok!!!

[GiraffesHaveMoreFun]

Ooh thanks for that info - will call the vet tomorrow!

[Oeisha]

Giraffes at least it's in the bath...
My boys are rescue boys and one went through a path of pooing on DH's clothes if they were left on the floor, but he's over that now, and just does the very occasional wee in the shower. He is nice enough to come and tell us what he's done though.

FYI: essential oils are all but impossible for cats livers to 'digest' properly and just build up...so if there's any chance of the oils getting onto cats paws, or directly licking, then avoid essential oils (very occasional exposure's not going to harm, but regualr will).

Oh, and sudden changes in behaviour such as pooing in the bath can indicate things like cystitis or constipation (they essentially become afraid of the pain of going to the toilet in their usual spot/litter tray) and will try somewhere else to avoid the association of tray+weeing/pooing=pain. Always get them checked by a vet if this happens...then you can start dealing with the behavioural stuff.

Will certainly be looking out for all signs of stress when my LO's born in Jan!

[GiraffesHaveMoreFun]

Be prepared for a dirty protest too. Mine has started pooing in the bath [boak].

[eurochick]

You must all have very timid cats!

My mum has told me that when I was a baby she once put me in the moses basket and turned round to put shopping away. One of our cats climbed in and was laying on me. She picked it up and as she did, the cat scratched me across the face, narrowly missing my eye. So you definitely can't just bank on the cat staying away of its own free will. I would have thought the cat-free nursery would be safer, tbh.

[AppleyEverAfter]

Good foil tip, Misty and I was going to suggest some essential oils too but not sure if they're safe to use around newborns? MIL has bought us a cat net as she is terrified of the cats sleeping on the baby but they have never slept in our bedroom and when baby is downstairs we'll be awake so it shouldn't be a problem. I will prob use the net downstairs if we're having a syncronised nap. My brother's cats were so freaked out by their babies that they hardly came in the same room as them, and now they're toddlers they keep an even greater distance!

[benne81]

Thanks so much everyone for the advice - I've already bought a catnet and I'm on my way to get some orange essence (my cat hates it when I eat a satsuma near her so I think that will probably work). I'm going to just go with the flow and see how it goes the first couple of weeks - if its too difficult to keep them apart then the baby will go in the perfectly safe nursery with a monitor like teamanisiton suggests.

[Grumpla]

My cat never went near DS or anything that smelled of him. But then she is not a particularly 'nesty' cat.

Cat net and squirt bottle / waterpistol as initial deterrent should work fine, get the Moses basket set up well in advance so she is totally trained before the baby arrives. Squirts work best if she doesn't see you do it though! A bit of staking out the Moses basket from the next room sounds like a relaxing activity for your last few weeks of maternity leave

[TheBride]

I have 2 indoor cats. They have ignored/ avoided DS since the day we brought him home from hospital. I think the cat will probably steer clear but maybe get a cat net for peace of mind.

[TeamAniston]

We have 3 cats, 2 of whom always sleep on our bed and there's not a chance anyone would get any sleep if we shut them out! Also, I didn't want them to feel any more jealous of the baby than they were already bound to do. So, our daughter slept in her cot in her nursery (next door to our bedroom) from day 1 - she's now nearly 2 and we have another on the way.

She was/is happy (a great sleeper and we've never had to deal with 'moving' her into her nursery which can be a nightmare), the cats are happy and rarely if ever go into her nursery (even though the door is generally open when she's not asleep in there. In short, I wouldn't overthink it and please don't worry that cats and babies don't mix.

Our 3 cats more than tolerate our toddler and one of them is even her best friend - his name was one of her first words and he's never more than 6 feet away from her.

Good luck with it all, it will work itself out!

[Oeisha]

Lol! I wasn't suggeting you spritz baby too! Generally making the cat wary of anything you don't want her near will help...start now and you'll have it sorted when baby arrives...soon...I'd accompany the spritz with a firm "NO" to.

I thought about mentioning citrus smells. Cats do indeed hate them BUT be warned, some cats - like one of my boys - will then wee on the smell to make it smell 'normal'. Same with tin foil. Stresses like a new baby can exaggerate this behaviour. IF your lady does start weeing on things then get her checked over (UTIs are VERY common in cats, especially stressed ones), but it will more than likely 'just' be the stress. If she does look miserable, things like "Feliway" diffusers help a lot.

[worldgonecrazy]

Seconded all the comments about cats staying away from babies. Our cat never slept anywhere near the moses basket or the cot. Now DD is a toddler they have reached an uneasy truce but still have had a few altercations. Mostly the cat puts up with her but sometimes if DD is chasing her too much or hurting her, she will give her a swipe. OH thinks that the cat treats DD as if she was a kitten, so it's a warning nip rather than a full on attack.

[knitterati]

Should also add, something soaked in Orange essential oil (you can buy at Holland & Barrat and places like that), helps - certainly put ours off scratching the sofa!

Good luck!

[Summerbird73]

wow i am loving the lemon peel tip

[SootySweepandSue]

Just adding, I would let the cat have the lounge and the baby the bedroom. Cats hate babies crying and will want to get out and your sofa will soon take some damage from the baby anyways (milk spills, sick, crayons etc).

I have read on cat forums that it is important to give cats a safe place away from baby noise/grabbing. I have to shut mine in the bedroom sometimes for her own peace. She is also being aggressive outside with other cats (3 fights this summer) which the vet thinks may be related :-(

[SootySweepandSue]

I would add that my cat wasn't interesting in befriending the baby but did go for her sleeping places. When she jumped into her Moses basket she didn't see her in it as it was on a stand, so in her defence she thought it was a comfy bed in the middle of the room!

I hope they will be friends one day.

[SootySweepandSue]

I have a 1 yr old DD and a 2 yr old cat. Our cat has never hurt the baby on purpose but has leapt into her basket (I was sitting 1 metre away and it was a miracle she did not hurt my DD). She would also sleep in her basket/cot/pram whenever possible. I have had to be pretty vigilant with this which has been stressful at times.

To be 100% sure you need to have baby sleeping in different room from the cat and even in the daytime never leave cat and baby alone together. it is a bit lime having a baby and toddler I imagine.

Could your cat learn to use a window in another room? Why can you not add a cat flap in another door?

[princessdave]

Some great tips in here, thanks OP for posting! Seems nets work for some and not others so will get one anyway. Was due today but no sign. Will keep the foil & lemon peel tips in mind too!

[bilblio]

We had a cat net which we only had to use over the carrycot when DD wasn't in it. Our cats were terrified of her! It's only in the last 6 months that they've decided it's safe to be in the same room as her, and they will occasionally let her stroke them. She's 4 :o
Poor things are going to have to go through it all again in a couple of months when the new DC arrives.

We were very strict about keeping them out of car seats, cots etc, they would get chased out of the house if we caught them, but they never went near them if DD was in it. We always kept our bedroom door open and the cats will come in at night, but they never went near the carrycot if she was there. If they had we'd have used the cat net.... ours are too hefty for it to work as a hammock.

My SIL had problems with the cats sleeping in the carrycot when they weren't in so they put a bag of lemon peel in there for a couple of weeks and the cats never went near it again.

[ChristinedePizan]

I wouldn't worry about it - as others have said, most cats hate babies. But if yours is one that doesn't, then a cat net works well. The foil tip is genius too.

[lollystix]

I worried about my flat cats and ds1. To be honest they avoided him like the plague but naturally didn't want to take any risks. As suggested cat nets off eBay are the way forward. Not sure if you can get crib ones but you can get cot sized ones.

[Summerbird73]

oisha i think the baby will be a bit cheesed off at being spritzed along with the cat the issue here is the OP is worried about waking up and finding cat in bed with baby.

FWIW i think the worst that will happen is that cat will snuggle into baby, and not smother baby IYSWIM. Our cats dont worry about a squeak from DS - they will snuggle anyway. It is only a problem if you are worried about cat hair (which i was with my PFB - but it was never a problem as i said we had a cat net)

babies and cats are sooo cute

[Misty9]

Tricky situation with needing to let the cat out via your bedroom... I'm due tomorrow and we're getting a bit worried how our cat will react to the baby - but I have read a tip about putting tin foil in the moses basket/crib/cot/car seat when empty as most cats HATE the sound of it. Ours certainly runs a mile when I get the foil out! :)