Things about pregnancy that no one tells you

[CBear6]

I'm starting to remember the weird things I noticed when pregnant with DS, mainly because they're happening again with this one, and at the time I wondered why no one ever mentions these things, not even the books (or at least the ones I read).

Things like:

• rolling over in bed becomes a test of strength, patience, and momentum. It's all about timing the pivot and the flop and using Whatever is in reach (sorry DH) for leverage

• your nipples get huge and change colour

• morning sickness isn't just in the morning, sometimes it's all day and all night too

• the random hormone-fuelled dreams

• the hair. It'll either stop growing and go all lank or it'll grow like weeds. And it's not just the hair on your head that's affected

• skin tags. For whatever reason they're common in pregnancy. I didn't know this until the doctor told me so when I got one on the end of my nipple, it turned black (the tag not the nipple)

Swollen vulva.
Aching hips.
Oh yes the dreams

Itchy stretchmarks...

...which I didn't even notice til 9 months (great)

...and since I couldn't see the backs of my legs past 8 months, was HORRIFIED to discover them all over the backs and insides of my thighs after I'd given birth and could actually manoeuvre myself into position to examine myself! I actually thought I'd got away lightly with a few on boobs and bump.

And the constipation. Never had it so bad, and won't go into detail about the lengths I had to go to just to have a poo. It was awful :-(

Also agree with the weird blue boob-veins. Totally odd.

And the milk spraying out all over the place ALL the time (silk shirt at work, padded maternity bra - end of the day, 2 huge dark circles and NO ONE told me :-(

I convinced myself I had no cravings at all, and when people asked, would brightly say 'nah, nothing weird' - but ate Peanut butter and chopped mango on toast for lunch for weeks (may have outed myself there!)

I came across a similar thread here on MN when I first found out I was pregnant and all the horror stories terrified me. What had I done?!?!

It turns out that pregnancy can sometimes be quite positive. I've not had any morning sickness, cravings, baby brain, stretch marks etc etc. In fact, I have never felt more energetic, focussed, AND somehow I can now get away with washing my hair every 3-4 days rather than every other day.

I just wanted to mention that for any women reading this who were in my shoes all those months ago. I don't mean to be a killjoy but I wouldn't want any women out there thinking they are doomed.

Uh, does anyone else have darkened armpits??? Really bizarre. Also very serious memory loss. Forgot DH's birthday this morning and had to phone him from work . Last pregnancy I forgot our anniversary and booked a work trip to Montreal! Last but not least, everyone thinks I'm due imminently, when I still have 10 weeks to go. That is seriously annoying!

moo I've started to get the memory loss. :( I feel like a nutter half the time.

Oh! Has anyone had a randomly, for no reason raised heart rate and constant palpitations?

Terribly itchy back and legs in early stages that just went suddenly in last trimester. Got so bad my DH bought me a back scratcher as when he wasn't home I used to sit on the floor with my back against the sofa just to be able to scratch a part of my back!!!

TransatlanticCityGirl I'm glad you're having a nice, positive pregnancy, but tbf having no issues at all seems to be pretty rare - I personally would rather have been forewarned that I'd need to carry a change of clothes everywhere with me from 8wks onwards because I couldn't cough, sneeze or puke without peeing myself!

Pain in my hips that made it very hard to sleep.
Tummy itchiness (makes me want to scratch even thinking about it).
Brand new veins everywhere.
Sense of smell stronger by factor of 1000.
Baby hiccups (mostly DD3).

That after about 24 weeks, if you're still getting "morning" sickness you'll run to the bathroom stripping off as you go as you'll need to stand in the bath because you're going to wee with every retch.

Oh yes the sense of smell!!! Amazing!

Except that often the smells are REALLY not worth smelling! (in the underground on a summer evening anyone?)

How much my hips would hurt.

How slowly I would end up walking.

That pregnancy sickness is not inevitable (sorry to everyone who did have it!)

How bad my memory would get - some days I couldn't even string a sentence together.

That when people say pregnancy is tiring, 'tiring' can mean a bone crushing exhaustion that you think might actually kill you, yet you cannot sleep because you are so uncomfortable. Honestly, I was more tired when pregnant than I was when breastfeeding a new baby all night.

Oh god the incontinence - after about 5months, the panic when I could feel a sneeze coming if I was out in public .

Seeing tena lady adverts in a new (non derisory) light

Skin tags: until reading this I had no idea the tags which appeared around my left armpit were pregnancy related - I assumed they were 'turning into old hag related' - also, I had forgotten about them, just checked and they have gone!!

The constipation! I strained so hard at 34 weeks pg that along with the tiniest poo (not worth the effort, time and piles quite frankly), passed a big chunk of mucus plug and rang the hospital in a panic

At 41.5 weeks pg, literally having to be heaved/pushed up off the sofa by DP amid much grunting and groaning (me) and swearing (him).

It's glamourous for sure!!

That you can have sickness for the whole pregnancy.

That continuity of care is a complete myth!

Sorry to lower the tone for mine but after my first dc I was completely horrified at the amount of blood loss, I had absolutely no idea about this, why the hell did no one tell me, I must of spent hundreds on magazines and books too and it was never mentioned in them either, I was so young and clueless :/ I now make it a duty to warn my friends about this and tell them to take a jug for the 1st wee too...
On my 3rd pregnancy now and all of the above has happened between them :(

Oh hell, of course - Lochia

The raw meat smell of it, bleurgh.

Ahem, sorry.

that i would waddle like a duck
that my depression would go anddd i no longer needed my medication

Itchy skin - I had two weeks when my legs itched ferociously non-stop and drove me mental.

SPD. I only had it mildly - God knows how people who have it seriously cope. I was getting into bed each night for the last twelve weeks and spending three quarters of an hour in agony - for some reason it always seemed to be at its absolute worst at bedtime.

Didn't have anything else, though - from some of the posts on here I got off lightly!

See my head hair gets lovely and thick and shiny where-as body hair stops growing.
discharge
that weird sudden drain of energy that makes you think 'this is it'
belly button gets sore
teh fact that the cliched late pregnancy spaced out ultra relaxed thing is actually fed up, uncomfortable, lack of sleep and unable to do much else.
I get the popping sound too and the achey bits.
Strange dreams
Eating becoming a chore and making me feel sick again, having been unable to stuff enough food in during the first 12 weeks.
Woken in the night by leg cramps
Woken in the morning by stomach ligament cramps
Turning into a grumpy arsed fecker who gazes at dh wanting to kill him for not suffering lovingly
Turning into a grumpy arsed fecker who wants to kill anyone a) not suffering and b) making some sort of 'joke' about belly/size/you must be mad etc etc etc
Having a mega strong BH whilst walking AND lo giving you a kick. And breathe...
I solved the throwing up situation by sitting on the bog with a bowl (I had a stomach bug)
WHy do the prenatal vitamins have to be so big and why do you have to take them on a full stomach? For the 1st 12 weeks or so HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

Isntitironic - not saying I've had zero side effects at all (I have, but nothing I would consider worthy of posting here), but to someone who is reading this thread in the early in their pregnancy it can make the adventure seem absolutely terrifying. It instills some kind of fear that many of these things could happen to them, and in reality, most people will experience a couple and they could be quite mild in comparison. This is the trouble with pregnancy, labour, and early motherhood - all society seems to tell you is how horrible it is. I think half the battle is about attitude anyway.

Yes, weeing yourself constantly is pretty shitty. But that too is pretty rare. Most people don't have to worry about that.

By the way, one of the worst things for a pregnant woman is stress & fear. Far more damaging to herself and the baby than half the things being talked about.

Not being able to bend. I'm ready for it this time, I'm training DS to pick things up that Mama has dropped, it's a 50/50 chance that he'll run off with it himself though. I need one of those grabber arms they sell in the back of the Sunday papers.

Oh yes, the sense of smell and the way things smell differently when pregnant. I can't go near the freezer because frozen food smells somehow foisty and my kitchen has this weird dusty smell to it which only I can pick up (everyone else says it smells fine).

That baby will jump up and down on my bladder resulting in a game of "I need a wee right now! .... No I don't, I'm okay ..... No, no, gotta wee .... No, wait, it's gone again".

That getting out of the bath from a reclined position requires manoeuvres worthy of a gold medal, ditto shaving legs at 9 months.

I get strange palpitations too, strawberrymewmew, it'll feel like I'm suddenly breathless but at the same time that my lungs are lighter and my heart will race, usually if I stand up too quickly.

That they would make me go for frequent wees during labour, the one time in the entire pregnancy where I didn't want one. It was like being five again and about to go on a car journey with the MW telling me to "go and try at least", me trying and forcing three drops, MW telling me "there, see? You did need one".

The urge to clean everything and the weirdness that is nesting. With DS I had a compulsion to buy pillows and blanket, we had well over a dozen pillows sets and half a dozen blankets before DH put his foot down, I think I was trying to build an actual nest.

I wasn't trying to tell horror stories by starting the thread, it was just lighthearted fun because it tickles me that there are certain things rarely mentioned about pregnancy.

You don't need to police MN on behalf of sensitive souls who may not like what they read, Transatlantic. If you don't like the thread, don't read it. I am heartily sick of women trying to police pregnancy threads as if we should all be bovinely contemplating the wonder going on inside us all the time and STFU about the physical and emotional downsides because someone else doesn't want to hear it. Tough. You can hide threads on MN. I suggest you hide this one.

Or maybe someone has something they hadn't heard about, read about it on here and feel better? it can work both ways.

Piles.

When I had that skintag on my nip and it turned black (the skintag, not my nip) I went to the doctor because I thought I had some sort of infection that was making me get painful little skin growths. Turns out it was accepted as a normal effect of pregnancy but very few of the books mention it, if any, and it's only when you say to someone "oh I had this" that they say "hey, I had it too!". Gone are the days when women would wear tent like dresses to hide their bump and would never ever mention the p-word much less the state of their nipples or how constipated they were feeling. Women today are far better informed about what is happening thus far and what to potentially expect in the near future, forewarned is forearmed, and it's because women today are more open to sharing their experiences. It's a wonderful thing. And there could be someone reading this thread worrying that what is happening to them isn't normal or that they're the only one, reading this would show them that they aren't.

I love being pregnant, I love my son and I love my little Peanut on board but that doesn't mean I have to be Mary Sunshine about it 24/7 because it isn't always rainbows and puppies and there are things about pregnancy that are frankly startling and not commonly mentioned until they actually happen to you. Pregnancy isn't as simple as just growing a baby.

I don't think anyone would read it and be scared or afraid and I certainly don't think it would affect them or their baby, that's taking it a bit far. I know a lot of the names here from other threads, they're all sensible, smart women - many of then are first timers themselves - and I think they've all taken the thread in the spirit it was intended - a light-hearted and tongue in cheek poke at the weird little adventure that is pregnancy.