"Or are you saying they are worse fates then death for a child."
That's a really hard question. I think I might be the lady Mosschops was talking about - I was facing this decision last winter and chose not to have the vaccination. I caught SF when I was 8 months pregnant, wound up in hospital dehydrated with very low blood pressure and low oxygenation. When we got there we discovered DD2 had died. The details are here if you want them.
We declined an autopsy and so will never know for certain that the SF caused her death. It seemed unnecessary when my condition was poor enough that my body was doing everything it could to keep me alive, and from an evolutionary point of view, babies are a lot more expendable than women of childbearing age...
When we lost DD I would have said nothing could be worse. But since then I've come across situations that have made me re-evaluate. Another possible outcome would have been DD surviving, but having suffered severe oxygen deprivation. That would have had a profound and long lasting impact on not just DH and myself but DD1 as well. Loosing DD2 was incredibly hard and I don't know that we'll ever recover, but at least it was quick and decisive - life has carried on, not as we had hoped and planned, but with no major changes. If DD2 had survived with oxygen deprivation, things could have been very VERY different. Worse? Haven't got a clue. How does a child with autism compare to either of those? Again, I haven't got a clue.
Would having the vaccine have prevented me catching SF? I don't know - but the entire vaccination program is based on the principle that it improves the odds, and with all the cost/benefit analyses that go on my opinion is that the flu vaccinations would have stopped by now if they were ineffective.
Re. autism - I'm struggling to find any peer reviewed research that finds a link between vaccines and autism. This study by the CDC looked at about 1,000 children between 6 and 13, some of whom were exposed to thimerosal containing vaccines either in utero or during the first 20 months of life. They found that the group exposed to vaccines were at no increased risk of having an ASD diagnosis - if anything they were at slightly lower risk (no explanation found). (I'll also caveat to say I haven't read the whole study yet but a glance through hasn't given me an obvious reason to distrust it.)