Postnatal depression or rational thoughts?

[redxlondon]

I’ve read lots about post natal depression, and meeting with a therapist tomorrow. But I can’t help but feel that I don’t have post natal depression, I am just having a reaction to the impact having a baby has had on mine and DH life.

I’m nearly 4 weeks post partum. Some days have been good, but I feel empty. I’m trying to detach from feeling anything so that I don’t panic and wonder what the hell I did to our life. I am so sad. And I just feel that all my baby does is sleep (and then I feel okay) or cry (and I’m a shit mum). We’ve had a few lovely moments, like tummy time
today with some sensory boards, but those moments seem to be about 10 minutes a day. The rest is seeing how I’m not good enough and just don’t enjoy life.

I felt like this - retrospectively I was borderline depressed but mostly it was sleep deprivation mixed with horror at what life had become.

FWIW it gets better and better - the first 3 months for me were hell but then life stopped being so awful and then was mostly enjoyable if hard by the time she was one, and from about 18 months onwards it's been truly fabulous and more fulfilling than I ever imagined possible.

Sending you a big hug - the early days are so hard. Therapy might help regardless of whether you're "actually" depressed or not as there's so much to process.

Sounds like depression. Lots of new mums mourn their old life. Hormones really drop off at this time. Try and focus on them being older. They're not small for long. Get out for a bit, have a good night in. Talk to your partner.

That was me too. And I found it really frustrating that I felt I was being pressured to say I was depressed and wanted drugs. I wasn't. I was knackered, it was winter dark and miserable. I'd gone from having a fun and busy life with a job that used my brain to becoming a leaking drudge who spent all her days alone in a house trying to keep on top of housework whilst caring for a frying baby. It was shit.

In retrospect I wasn't depressed, I needed friends who could share their experiences and some time away from my baby when I could feel myself again.

It’s very early days Could be sleep deprivation, hormones or indeed PND.

Thank you, it sometimes helps just to hear you’re not alone with these feelings.

As others have said you may or may not be depressed but it's insanely tough for most ppl and we sadly live in a society which doesn't support or value what mothers do.

I felt like this, there were a few times I stood in the shower and just sobbed because I felt like I'd ruined our lives.
Now our little girl is 11 months old and it's amazing. She has her own little character, she pulls faces at us, makes us laugh, we make her laugh, she's learning new things all the time and it's lovely watching them grow and develop.
You don't get much back from them while they're newborn, but I found I started to feel better around 3 months and it's just gotten better and better ever since.
Things will get better, you're in the trenches right now but it will get better. I promise

Yeah I felt like a lot of other posters. I used to see a lot on my social media about PPA in particular and I’d think well surely as a brand new parent it’s natural to worry about the baby and maybe be a bit OTT. You’ve just been given this tiny, vulnerable little newborn to look after with zero instruction manual - surely some anxiety is normal. It made me feel like I was doing something wrong by having these worries, was it PPA or just natural first born/learning curve.

Your life is literally turned upside down, you don’t sleep, barely eat - potentially everyone has a bit of PPD/PPA but it hits some people worse then others if you don’t have the support network to help you get through it.