Not caught up but need a rant. Feeling very This will probably be long and there will more than likely be lots of swearing so please feel free to ignore it!! I just need to get it off my chest and everyone in rl is out or at work!
Yesterday Nathan fell over in playground before school and smacked his nose. I picked him up to cuddle him because bending down he kept knocking me over and it was wet! His teacher Mrs D saw me carrying him and him crying and said in cross voice 'NO we dont do this come on Nathan your Yr1, put him down mum' so I said hed hurt himself and she said 'oh sorry we'll get miss H to have a look at that come on come in' He asked me if I ould come in, I said no but I woud walk to the door with him. Mrs D said no its best if you don't and marched him off.
Today he took his new toy car up to school but said he wasnt allowed to take it in and was upset and kept saying he didnt want to go to school could he come home. He has never said this before school, he says in the evening he doesnt want to go and sometimes when before we leave but has always been fine once at school. I said we would ask Mrs D about the toy because he was always allowed last yr and hen Maia was yr1 they allowed them to for a while and then sent a letter saying no more toys except for show and tell now please. Mrs D said (slight cross voice again) 'No nathan you kn ow you're not allowed they get broken you're year 1 now, now in you go. Nathan said he wanted to go home and stood behind me, she reached round took his hand and in very cross voice said 'NO nathan you dont do this, take your book bag, you're Yr1 now in you go' and sent him in on his own sobbing his heart out with no kiss or hug goodbye from me Then told me I shouldnt encourage toys its school policy blah blah blah. I said he always brought one last year and she said oh well he shouldn't have. I asked if they really have assembly every day because he really doesnt like it and 'oh well yes they do its all part and parcel of yr1'
I feel like screaming at her hes only just fucking 5!!!! Just because the stupid fucking school system says hes year fucking 1 doesnt make him suddenly all grown up, he is only a few weeks older than some children just going into reception. And continually telling him oh you're year 1 now nathan is not fucking going to fucking help
His lovely lovely teacher last year said to me that she didnt have get as cross with Nath as some of the other children, quite often he just needed gentle reminding or even asking if he should really be doing something and he'd realise he shouldn't be and stop. Shouting and getting croos makes him feel angry and stupid and hurt and clam up and want to run and hide and be on his own, it doesn't work with him unless he is really not listening. If Miss B could see this then why cant Mrs D. Surely she can see that when a small child is upset about coming to school then the way to change that is to be nice, firm but still nice, not cross and angry! All that can achieve is make him want to stay away. And if she is like that about things as small as this then what the fuck will she be like if he really does do something he shouldn't?!
In the past she was a reception only teacher and she always had the 'difficult' children, the ones that really need a firm hand. She is about 20 years older than any of the other teachers there and she is 'old school'. Nathan is not a 'difficult' child, being like this makes him worse not better. She is now no longer that teacher, these are not children that need a firm hand, this is the only mixed yr r/ yr 1 class for the younger yr1s who arent quite ready for the extra work load and concentration required in yr1 and for the more able yr R children. She does not need to be a mean old bitch anymore!
This class was my big hope for him and now I am not so sure. I know I am probably over reacting and its just a little thing but I know how delicate Nathan is atm and this is just going to make him so much worse.
I had some really nasty teachers in my first few years of school and that stayed with me and fucked up my entire education, well along with more horrid teachers and crap parents but it definitely played a big part!!
And I just rang the Drs and they said all results normal except 1 which the Dr is going to ring me about later this morning. Presumably if they are going to ring me and not calling me in then it can't be anything serious?!
Sorry for all this ranting, I know I'm probably coming across as some precious, hysterical mother from hell! I've seen him misunderstood so many times before and the effects it has on him, he needs me to fight his corner and I will! This early stuff has such a massive effect on things.
Have just read this back (sory for all typos, too many to go through and correct, I'd be here all day! Big apols for the your instead of you're though!) and I really do sound like I'm making a big fuss over nothing and I can't really explain it without making me sound even more precious! I think its only if you really know him or have one the same that you can see how important all this is. I never would have been like this for Maia, not because shes any less important she just is a much easier child, she listens, shes calm and has self control in a way that he doesnt. Or she did before she got to this nightmare 50% toddler 50% teenager stage!