December 2012 - Smiles all round!

[SpottyTeacakes]

And the one where Spotty's gang gets some sleep

[utopian99]

I'm another that doesn't bother asking dh to do night feeds; think bottle warming would be too much faff and O would be awake and upset by the time things were ready, plus he's not dead keen on the bottle yet. What dh is great at it doing late evening and early walking/bouncing/nappy when not hungry, which often gives me an hour either side of the midnight-7am slot.

Wlmum YUK but also DITTO! Thinking of inventing little paper throwaway bra cleavage scoops, so once lo fills them with cottage cheese spew I can whip it out and too another in!

Clarella belated happy birthday! also on dry lips front, eight hour cream solves EVERYTHING. Not cheap but lasts forever so worth the price when you think about it.

Lots to report today; went to baby massage in the morning which was fun. Reported back to my nct lot, so hoping some of them might come next week..

Went to our local Manc sling meet who gave me some pointers on the flex wrap and i love it even more now. Also had a play with a ring sling, which i actually went off a bit in comparison, and a woven wrapwhich i rather enjoyed. It was rather beautiful too but my word I didn't realise how expensive those things can get!

Went to this friend's 30th and had a lovely time. Dh went zipping about with Oz for the first hour or so and all our friends loved him - he got loads of passing around which i think is good to get him used to social scenarios, and i managed to keep him feed and happy so no crying all evening! Everyone said how chilled and gorgeous he was so I am now ghastly smug mummy.

Interestingly party was from 8pm- 2.40am (when we left,) and he followed exactly the sleep pattern he does at home, so was happily asleep on me by the time we left, music notwithstanding. As people got more pissed i did have a bit of a pfb moment about one of our friends holding him but just hovered about and soon got him back around 11.30 for feeds and then he chilled with me after that and we wandered about together. Put him in his hammock when we got home and he has slept till 5.30 as per, quick feed/change and now asleep on my lap again, sweet little thing. V happy tonight.
(also as dh gets more pissed he gets more and more loved up which is always rather nice, and vain that i am i quite enjoyed the chance to dress up in 'proper' clothes. The chap who was our best man has declared that i am now officially the first real life milf he knows, hehe.)

[Clarella]

piles - there is a super strong one called proctesedly suppositories and cream, sorts them in a week

[utopian99]

Sorry, that probably went on forever and is overly mememe in a happy way but wanted to share as there were some days at the start when I really felt that my life was gone for good and this small needy parasite had taken away my husband, social life, looks and generally clobbered everything i used to enjoy. (hormones/baby blues in a big way, esp late at night.) Now we're 5 weeks in i'm getting more used to it and adapting so as to get back the bits i enjoyed from our old life, albeit modified to take O into account and I'm actually really happy, so just wanted to share.

Will now shut my silly face and attempt LO-hammock-insertion!

[utopian99]

Separate note, Clarella good pile tip! Will go on the hunt for that, sick of mine taking their time to sod off..

[IsThatTrue]

utopian that sounds like a lovely evening! :)

Well ds2 just woke himself up by puking all over the bed (we'd been feed sleeping) it came out of his nose poor little thing. He's been up most of the night tonight, I think he's prob got a degree of whatever virus I have though so I won't hold it against him! :)

spotty with dd and ds1 I expected XH to help at night and was very that he was useless, my input was always needed I cried about it a lot, and built up a lot of resentment. But when pg with ds2 I mentally prepared myself for doing everything alone as DH had never even seen a newborn before ds2 was born. I think this has helped majorly as anything he does do is a bonus. I'm not saying that this will help everyone and obviously a lot of people wouldn't be happy with the division of feeds/changes etc we have (DH has changed ds2 twice and dressed him once and he's 8 weeks old). But to me lowering my expectations has really helped me cope sorry to ramble!

[Barbeasty]

Marking my place.

Waitrose bottom butter is good for nappy rash, and really good for grown up dry skin too. Wouldn't use it on my lips though! I second burts bees for that.

I popped over to see MIL yesterday, and she tickled A under his chin. Next thing I know he gags a few times and then sick just poured from his mouth in a scene worthy of the exorcist! All over me, not.MIL.

[halesball]

Sorry for everyones bad night, H went to sleep at 4 woke up at 6 and has just gone back down now. Why is the sleep always worse when you have plans for the next day? I have a awful migrainey type headache, which i'm praying doesn't turn into a migraine as i'm not allowed my tablets due to BF.

Spotty sorry about your DP men just don't get it.

Utopian i'm glad you had a good night out.

[EggsMichelle]

Hales have you got any ebm or ff to give when you have a migraine? My migraines never last longer than 12hrs and either respond to paracetamol and ibuprofen or I'm sick, so never needed migraine meds.

Piles - I have scheriproct, which numbs as well as anti inflammatory, which I have only worked out today, so think I'll be using it a bit more frequently and fx I will feel less anxious.

[WLmum]

Just about to eat a bowl of porridge! Fenugreek tablets are great for milk supply - take 3 tablets 3 times a day until you smell like maple syrup! It really worked for me.

[WLmum]

Glad to hear you had such a good time utopian it is important to get you need as well as making sure everyone else gets what they need. We always leave our own needs til last and that's not always healthy. You are an inspiration!

[Stacks]

A quick WWYD - my brother and his girlfriend are both deaf with mild learning difficulties, but capable of living unsupported (almost, apart from regularly borrowing money as they have no food and no money). They're also having a baby (she's just gone into labour). Their flat is a mess. Social services are involved, and will hopefully support them on being parents, however, my dad said yesterday social services are vein 'obstructive'. The question is, if social services take the baby into care, would you step in and take care of it? My DH is against it.

[PurplePidjin]

I probably would if i could, Stacks, but there'll be a long way to go before it gets to that - carers, home help etc. I get the job email from a local nanny agency and one job is for 2 live in nannies to support a mum with cp (don't know if that's SS or privately funded though). Maybe you could offer to take the baby for a few hours respite? Sling one, pushchair the other and go to the park.

Congratulations on becoming an Auntie

[FriendofDorothy]

I probably would too Stacks.

Hard decision though.

[itsMYNutella]

stacks that's a really hard one. First off, if they have the right to get pregnant they surely have the right to raise that child IMHO. Surely before any decision is made about taking the child away their ability should be assessed... But as to getting involved... Gosh that's really hard, I hope the decision is a long way off or never needed.

hales a friend who had regular migraines found fennel tea throughout pregnancy and BF kept them away. I drink a lot of fennel tea and another one which is fennel cumin and something else which is supposed to be good for digestion and avoiding trapped wind... Not convinced it works. But I haven't had any headaches

[SpottyTeacakes]

Stacks I would like to say I would but as others have said there's surely a long way to go before it gets to that? Hopefully it won't happen

[Stacks]

I've spent the last 6 months telling myself social services aren't just bad guys - they help plenty of parents be parents. We had social services involved throughout our childhood and they never took us away. All the worry has come back now she's in labour though. The problem is I'm on Scotland and they're in London, otherwise I'd go down the supporting route.
My brother loves children and has done since he was little. He's always been drawn to children younger than himself and talked about havin a baby of his own. However he's not good with reality and has no idea that a baby is hard work. He also has anger issues (SS have sent him on a anger management course) and has no idea at all how to manage money. He gets a fortune in benefits, but they're gone within a day or two, and need to last him 2-4 weeks. Sigh. As long as he works with social services and isn't obstructive things should be ok. Unfortunately, he's an obstructive, sulky, 'the world is out to get me and its not fair' kinda guy.

On another note, we had quite a good night of sleep :) Going along to a local sling meet/real nappy/nearly new sale today. Hoping to pick up some second hand nappies and advice on slings.

[IsThatTrue]

stacks personally I would but my DH would not. And I would have to respect his wishes. Unfortunately I could not risk my relationship and family dynamic for somebody else's baby.

My cousin had a ds (he 3rd dc, both older dd's live with their dads) about 3 months before I had ds2. Her ds has been taken by SS and were looking for him to live with family. I would love to give the poor boy a home, his sisters were luckier in that their dads were decent blokes and wanted to care for them, this poor babies dad went to prison a short time after he was born! I can't risk my marriage though. I am just having to comfort myself with the knowledge that he is a tiny baby and will be adopted really easily.

[WLmum]

Oh stacks what a tricky situation. I would take the baby if I could but I appreciate that this is a really complex situation with lots of issues that I won't have considered.

[WLmum]

How sad. Making me feel how lucky my family are. Makes me want to cry. Good news on the sleep, hope you get good slings and nappies. I love both!

[PurplePidjin]

I would automatically take in dp's sister's children if needed. I can't imagine not, tbh.

[utopian99]

I would automatically if it was my brother's child, and if allowed so would my parents i should think, but obviously each situation is different and i know dh would understand in our case but i can't pretend to appreciate the nuances of yours..

Good luck at the sling meet, i went to our local one yesterday with a bunch of our nct group and got some good pointers..

[MaMaPo]

That's tough, Stacks. I imagine if anything happened to my brother or sister my husband and I would seriously consider taking their kids. But this is a newborn, which is a bit different, as are the circumstances. I hope it works out for them.

So my laissez faire attitude towards napping yesterday seems to have backfired massively - that was the worst night in the MaPo house for weeks and weeks. She wouldn't go back to sleep after feeds which is completely unlike her. I feel like I was up every 45 minutes (and I probably was). Luckily it's Saturday and we have no plans - I got a 2 hour sleep this morning as my husband took her. I should try to nap again now but I am all awake and exhausted and a bit beside myself. Just chatted with my sister on Facebook and she said 'Wish I could come and babysit!'. God, me too. Bloody Australia being 17,000km away...

Bit pissed off with my husband too - got up and of course he hadn't cleared up the kitchen after dinner which he said he'd do. And then he gets miffed with me when I start doing it! I hate making breakfast in a messy kitchen. So he comes in to do it, does it all half-arsed... god, I am in such a bad mood today. I should switch off the internet and sit in a dark room for a while. maybe then I'd get some sleep

[SpottyTeacakes]

I know it's completely unreasonable of me but I really, really hate dp playing football and really resent him for it

[HoneyMumandSon]

mamapo I'm with you on the clearing up. I'm not the tidiest person on the world but I am clean. I'm ok with things being in a bit of a mess as long as spills are wiped up, counter tops are cleaned and pots are done or at least put in the dishwasher but DH seems unable to do this until I start trying to do it with baby under one arm, at which point I get 'I was going to do that'

[HoneyMumandSon]

spotty I don't think it is unreasonable - you spend all day every day doing your job of looking after your DCs and doesn't sound like you get much respite in the evenings and nights so wanting your dp to spend time with the family isn't being unreasonable, especially if he says its his way of winding down (is that what he said the other day?) He's got a newborn he's responsible for and when do you ever get to wind down?