FEB 2010 Two and a half to three...the "contrary age" (no it isn't! yes it is!)

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Come in, sit down, fresh coffee is brewing, Prosecco's in the fridge for later and there's a bumper box of Lindt chocolates for all....

CP I agree but I think the problem is that the person doing the assessment has to hear and see the child do something before they can tick the relevant box (the whole testing is bonkers if you ask me...)

Mous Hope your cold gets better too

Mous and CP - get well soon.

I am a bit weirded out by DS's recent prudishness/obsession with private parts - he keeps telling me to 'cover up your boobies'! I'm like, "I have to feed the baby". I have no idea where he got it from. and he keeps putting his hand down his trousers/pants and not because he wants to go to the loo. I am perturbed.

He was badly behaved at nursery this afternoon - key worker wouldn't say exactly what he'd done in front of the other parents - but said he was 'unsettled' - am hoping it isn't anything to do with the row me and DH had last night - it was brief but explosive. I didn't have dinner ready exactly for 5 when he got home and he was trying to say he wish I'd told him it wouldn't be ready so he could keep working a bit longer but I heard it as 'why isn't my dinner on the table' and screamed 'FUCK YOU' and stormed out with baby in the pram to calm myself down with a little walk. What is really awful is that DS was copying me :( Things had been going really well - I hope it is just a glitch bought on by serious sleep deprivation (baby is TERRIBLE at the moment - wants to be latched on all night pretty much - will sleep for about 20 mins if I unattached her).

Baking at nursery went ok but DS showed off massively because I was there and kept trying to push in and do everything.

IC - I would love to learn how to get a baby into a back carry with my ergo, I am much too frightened at the moment to attempt it but there is another mum at nursery who goes around with her younger child in one so I may ask her for a lesson.

Sorry for me-me-me.

bc that sounds tough and obviously you needed help not just more time on your own to do. It's hard when we're sleep deprived to act rationally but agree not great for DS either.

As for sleep, I was at that point and unable to sleep through the latching so that's when we started changing our night routines.

I don't know how the ergo works but actually I'm quite comfortable putting DS on my back and was happy from the get go. I found a few you tube videos and clicked through a couple until I found one that worked. As I said I'm uncomfortable with going to tighten it further but having no more room to. I did have some nice long mirrors in the bedroom to try it out on though which our new house is missing.

Have you debriefed with DH about what happened and why you felt that way about what he said?

No idea about private parts, but I think the touching is a very common thing. If it's for pleasure I think the advice is to explain that it's fine but that kind of thing is done in private in your bedroom, not when other people can see (but obviously look it up more and see if other people know more than me). It is hard to go again the instinct reaction a lot of people have of recoil and shouting no don't do that.

As for covering up breasts, wonder where he got that from. I think just some explaining (and lots of re-explaining) will cover that one).

right bed time for me

Oh CP, NK rubbish about the illnesses - I hope the infections clear up pronto.

Good luck with your mum's visit SB!

Ugh to your bad nights Bc - no wonder you're on a short fuse, who wouldn't be?
I think toddler boys' obsession with their willies is very common - I'm kind of looking forward to the comedy aspect of that when DS discovers this extraordinary gadget he possesses - not to mention many a mortifying moment in public for me I suspect...!
As for lessons in back carrying - I learned how to do it with the Connecta by doing a search on Youtube - I bet you'll find similar with the Ergo! Once you can manage to get the baby/toddler onto your back, the rest is usually relatively straightforward! I found I had no problem getting DS on my back now I've had so much practice with DD, but his smaller size makes getting him in the Connecta a bit tricky (although he's growing so fast and his neck is getting so strong, I don't think it'll be too much longer before he'll be fine!) and although I can back wrap him, I can't get the head support right.

I've just had three days straight of just me and the 2 DC while DH is at school - yesterday was the toughest because DS wouldn't settle for his nice long naps. Monday and today were far better. Mind you, the pay off yesterday for DS not sleeping as well during the day (and having an epic Evening Fussy) meant he did his longest stretch yet (5.5 hours) overnight and only woke the once for a feed before 06.30 (shame DD chose today for one of her rare early mornings....she woke up at 05.30....)

BC hugs. Sounds like you've had a tough few days.

Something to cheer you up

I can't believe how much better I feel after 3 doses of antibiotics :)

CP it's good to know it works when needed!

I have sinus pain, but I think it is just viral so wait and see...

School is concerned with DD2, she is trying to talk but very behind and not repeating the right sounds when she tries. They do think she is clever though, but she is getting frustrated and a bit stubborn (well school said very but believe me, compared to DD1 she is not stubborn at all ). I have no idea if she knows any colours or shapes, she is not interested in answering (showing) this kind of questions. So I don't know if she doesn't know or doesn't care yet.
I have to find a SALT now who has good knowledge of english, who is used to multilingual children, and used to deal with very young children... a plus would be if he speaks french too...

She is happy, cuddly, cute and funny slightly cheeky though, and for me not stubborn .

Rainbow

me and sinus pain are well acquainted. If it's just on one side I have found sleeping on the opposite side helpful and seems to stop them getting as bad. Unfortunately 3 weeks of sinus pain is quite common and dismissed as viral over here. tbh I've been mostly grateful with this lurgy that it hasn't gone to sinus's as every cold last year went there. Then again I never really had a cold, just a cough.

Anyone for leftover birthday cake?

dd2's key worker in nursery cornered me again today (dh usually does the pick up and doesn't talk to her much. He claims he can't understand her... She does have quite an accent (poss jamaican) but then he is useless at understanding any accent. I remember translating for him in New York because he genuinely had no idea what people were saying to him and I also had to provide sub titles in Scotland...). The key worker told me that dd2 is the only child in nursery who refuses to leave the table after eating before she has had a chance to wipe her hands and mouth. Well, what's wrong with that? I don't much care for pasta sauce/yoghurt/chocolate etc handprints along the walls and on the sofa, so yes, I do get my two to clean their hands when they have finished eating...

yep that confuses me too.

... it sounded like thinly disguised criticism. I think the staff think we are a little precious while I think the nursery could do better. Counting weeks until dd2 is old enough to join the school nursery class (the Monday after her third birthday!). I have considered moving dd2 to another nursery now but as she seems quite happy my niggles with a few things (since new owner took over) seem irrelevant for the sake of three months.

Mous. Meant to say I'm keeping my fingers crossed you can find SALT. Sounds very positive that your dd2 is trying so hard to communicate but must be quite frustrating for her, too.

Wanted to say a quick hello. Having much trouble getting on here as our internet is rubbish at the moment. Get well to all you poorly folk (and kiddies).

DH off this weekend on his annual jolly. Will be back on here tomorrow night with my glass of wine if the inernet will let me (and it's usually about once a week at the mo! May have to resort to facebook updates again until I figure out what's going on. It seems fine on other sites so thinking it might be a rubbish advert that upsets our end of the line broadband?)
Love to all.

Suvival Was wondering how you are .

About to have a mattress delivered and pleased I don't have to stay in until 2. Bit though as if I'd known it will come so early I could have visited IC after all...

CP glad you're feeling better

mous I hope you'll find a specialist which can help

bc how are you?

NK at your DD2 keyworker. What an odd comment!

I'm Jersey airport waiting to checking in (plane is leaving in 1 hour) and can see the fog creeping in. Fx I don't get bound as I'll not find it funny. DS is very happy his mamie is over and really takes advantage enjoys the attention.

sb

Thanks CP

rainbow

Aw, how irritating NK - ah well, we'll try again soon, eh?!
What's with the nursery thinking it's a bit precious for your DD2 to want clean hands and face after eating? Honestly..!

Had a tempestuous morning with DD - culminating in a huge tantrum because I bundled her into outdoor clothes and the buggy without negotiation (we were trying to catch a train). Once we got to the train station and then the park we were aiming for, she was fine again and in fact pretty good, if not better than usual for the rest of the day. Despite my higher levels of crossness and I'm Not Taking Any Crap approach recently adopted, if anything DD is even more affectionate with me and DS than usual (once tantrums etc. are done). I'm glad she doesn't hold my pissiness and severity against me (any more than I hold her rudeness and wilfullness against her..!)

sorry rainbow wasn't ignoring, I've just seen it before

IC I think if your the same with them and emotionally neutral they get on with it rather quickly. If they know they can plead and daddy will give in then they don't just simply accept your answer of 'no, you've had your one today.

we've had a few meltdowns but related to being tired and not wanting to go upstairs/in the car so we can get home to bed. She had a fever again today on going to bed.

how you doing generally IC

Oh bah to the ongoing feverishness, CP! Hope whatever it is departs sharpish.

I think you're right about the pleading/nagging/yelling/giving in situation. I think once I've demonstrated to DD that I WILL follow through with what I say - whether it's yes/no/later etc. - then she tends to be better behaved (assuming illness/tiredness/needing a poo etc. is out of the equation!)

This week I've mostly been on my own (while DH is at work) with both DC and generally, it's been okay, although there are pressured moments. I think I'd be more of a wreck if DS didn't nap as prodigiously as he does. And he's now showing signs of being able to be left for short periods with something to look at while awake without fussing, which means I can do things without having to have him in the sling or under one arm during wakeful periods.

This is also why I'm clamping down on DD - I've realised once there are two DC to deal with, I don't have the luxury of time and patience to work through every toddler issue with DD. She's got to learn that she has to just shut up and get on with it sometimes - or wait while Mummy gets on with it!

I feel slightly hypocritical that I get cross at DD for nagging me to do something and refusing to wait for anything when I also get cross when she doesn't do what I ask her reasonably sharpish. She does the "Let me just....I've GOT to do this first...." etc. when I want her to do something and she's absolutely echoing me.

But tough luck, I happen to be higher up in the pecking order than her (with a small baby's needs to consider too) so I'm dealing with that by telling her "Mummy's the boss!" as an explanation for this double standard...!

I think you'll learn to give her better warning signals and automatically ask 15 mins before you want to leave. Then by the time you've got to the we're doing it right now stage, she'll accept she had her chance.