Help for 16month in church

[NeverAloneNeverAgain]

How do you support/encourage your little ones to sit in church? Big 3 have always just sat (with busy books etc) but youngest is being a challenge! We go weekly so it's not a new environment. Unfortunately there's no children's liturgy currently which doesn't help. Everyone is lovely about him but I do worry he's disrupting mass - we take it in turns to take him out if he's being too noisy or tries to run about. We've tried busy books, quiet toys he plays with at home, toys specifically for church in the hope something new will engage him a bit better and snacks.

Just to add I don't expect him to sit still and silent he's only little but if he could stay in the pew that would be great!

[PuttingDownRoots]

The church DH used to attend had a children's area set up at the back with quiet toys, books, colouring etc. The kids had space to move around, but were quiet.

[Fink]

I work in children's ministry. I just don't expect young children to be still and quiet. Some are, some aren't. It depends on the child's personality and the parenting style.

I would tag team with your husband and any other supportive adults who would take it in turns to take the toddler outside until he's ready to sit still. Don't take him anywhere fun to reward fidgeting, take him somewhere dull and then bring him back in with the books and quiet toys every time he looks like he might sit still. Just keep doing that every time.

Also, maybe counterintuitively, I would sit right up the front where he can actually see and hear what's going on (I say counterintuitive because a lot of parents try to sit near the door to be able to take a crying child out quickly), and then try to engage him with what's happening at the Mass. For example, I would tell dc to look out for the deacon/priest pouring water into the chalice and say 'pour me in, Jesus', or listen out for when the bells ring and pretend to ring along (yes, I have trained a lot of altar servers in my time 😆), or count how many candles there are or what colours are in the stained glass etc. Still have the toys and books too, but he might pay attention to what's going on for a few seconds at a time.

Lastly, if you can afford it, I keep a special set of toys and books just for church, so they stay interesting for longer and are something to look forward to. There's loads of religious stuff available (I had little saints stuffed dolls from Etsy).

Basically, though, I would ride it out by taking him outside all the time until he's old enough to understand the need to sit still. He won't be a fidgety toddler forever!

[Thegreatestoftheseislove]

A container of Cheerios! To be handed one at a time to be munched. 😃

[NeverAloneNeverAgain]

Thank you for the replies. @Fink I might try sitting at the front. Thays a great idea. We do sit at the back to make a quick exit if needed!

[MumChp]

My husband spent a lot of time outside church or in a play room then our oldest two were todlers. I served at church so I couldn't help.
Our youngst was happy just to play with her church bag.

They are not todlers forever. It will be easier.

[CurlsnSunshinetime4tea]

just to let you know i don't mind the little ones at church, even the wiggly ones. keep up the good work!

[Luckingfovely]

DD (crawling) once chased a large spider down the aisle of our 12th century church and ate it.

[UpsideLeft]

The rule is you take out your child if they're disturbing the sermon

Not directed at you OP


If you don't then you're clueless and just going to church to get into a school so have no idea this is the norm

[UpsideLeft]

They do get used to it after a while and generally there is a Sunday school aimed at all ages so you'd normally take your little ones to that and stay with them til they're old enough to go alone. That generally takes up most of the service

[MrsTerryPratchett]

@UpsideLeft

The rule is you take out your child if they're disturbing the sermon

Not directed at you OP


If you don't then you're clueless and just going to church to get into a school so have no idea this is the norm

WWJD? Not post like that.

[Thegreatestoftheseislove]

@Luckingfovely

DD (crawling) once chased a large spider down the aisle of our 12th century church and ate it.

😆

[elliejjtiny]

I've been there OP. Bit late for you and I didn't do this intentionally but my dc all have biblical names so every so often someone would say we are going to read from the book of Joshua for example and my dc with the same name would get all excited for about a minute! Some of mine have been happy to colour and some would have rather be trying to lift the lid of the baptistry at that age. Have you tried jigsaws, the wooden tray ones? Also I find my dc would sit quietly with something if they weren't normally allowed to have it or if they thought it actually belonged to someone else. I have a colouring book that I bought for my youngest for church but I tell him it's mine but he can borrow it if he's careful and use my "special pens" which are just ordinary felt tips on a novelty pencil case and he finds it more interesting. Also snacks for communion time because mine have all been very miffed when the grown up and older children get a bit of bread and some "juice" and they don't!

[Dacadactyl]

Yes, I'd sit near the front door and point out what the Priest is doing and engage the little one with what's happening on the altar.

I'd also not worry about having to walk up and down the church holding the LOs hand and pointing out stuff like the Stations of the Cross or whatever.

[dinosaurghostcat]

Snacks!!!!! Cheerios in Tupperware. I forgot how hard it was as our second child was this unmanageable age during the pandemic and we watched online ha. We start off in the pew but when she starts to get loud one of us takes her to the back and lets her potter about.
If she's been extra vocal, I make a point of saying loudly to whoever I'm walking out with "WELL IF THE CHURCH AINT CRYIN THE CHURCH IS DYIN" ... which is most weeks at the moment (15 months!)
And, Mark 10:13-16

[pickledandpuzzled]

Very small but helpful tip- take off his shoes. The leg swinging and stamping is less sensorily productive for him, if that’s what he’s seeking, and it frees him up to move around quietly.

Lots of positive input- ‘gentle hands, quiet voice, count the candles’, rather than ‘Shush, stop wriggling’!

Lots of opportunity to explore before d after the service, so he’s less distracted by things he notices and knows he’ll be able to have a good look at some point.

I actually didn’t find snacks helpful- they focus attention on getting snacks, where are the snacks, are there more/different snacks?
Knowing that there’s a carton of milk and a biscuit with his name on it ready for after the service however- very motivating!

[SparkyBlue]

I was told by a priest to sit up at the front as children were usually distracted more by watching what was happening. Similar to you I'd previously thought it was best to hide at the back.

[BetsyBobbin]

@Luckingfovely

DD (crawling) once chased a large spider down the aisle of our 12th century church and ate it.

Oh God! 🤣

My DS used to clap at the end of the hymns thinking he was at a gig, obviously influenced by the playgroup I used to take him where we'd do the same.

[NeverAloneNeverAgain]

@Luckingfovely

DD (crawling) once chased a large spider down the aisle of our 12th century church and ate it.

🤣 that made me chuckle and feel better thank you!