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A new Christian prayer thread for Autumn and Advent... All welcome!

589 replies

Tuo · 06/11/2013 00:03

Starting a new thread as we head from Autumn into Winter... This is a safe and supportive place of prayer, where regulars, occasional visitors and lurkers, committed Christians and those just dipping a toe into the water are all equally welcome. Come and leave a prayer, tell us what’s going on in your life, bring your worries, hopes, fears and joys to God, and know that you will be prayed for.

We pray, in particular, for...

... amberlight, for her work raising awareness of autism in churches, and for her to know love and acceptance wherever she goes;

... Badvoc and her family, as they grieve the loss of her dad; we pray too for her aunt, who’s very ill, and for all those affected by the death of Badvoc’s uncle who was estranged from the rest of the family;

... BlackEyedSusan, for all the many things which she has to juggle in her life as a single parent; in particular, we pray for her mum's health and for BES to know how best to help and support her, for strength to deal with her DS’s meltdowns, and for both her DC to receive the support that they need at school;

... Bluetinkerbell, in her new job and as she explores her vocation;

... bountyicecream, who is in a very difficult relationship situation and needs our prayers – may she find strength and support and self-belief;

... CharlotteCollinsisinherownplace, giving thanks that she has had the strength to get out of an emotionally abusive relationship, and praying for a happy future for her and for her DC;

... cloutiedumpling, thanking God that her DS doesn’t need surgery, and praying for his continued good health;

... Don'tsteponthemomeraths, for her niece, little Grace, born prematurely – may she continue to grow in strength; also for Mome’s health, and in particular her persistent headaches – may they turn out to be easily treatable; and for Mome’s DS to receive the support he needs at school;

... DutchOma and Bob, for health for Bob and for good support (moral and practical) for Oma as she cares for him day by day; for Oma’s eyes – giving thanks for good sight in the one already treated, and praying for the one still to be done;

... EasyCompadre, for a healthy pregnancy, and for the strength to do what she needs to do for her business while waiting to meet her baby;

... fluffyduckie, that her terminally ill relative is well looked-after and as well as is possible in the circumstances, without too much pain; and that fluffy find a church where she feels comfortable and where she finds a supportive community to sustain her faith;

... FriendOfDorothy, grieving for the loss of her mum – may she know love and support at this difficult time;

... Gingercurl, for the successful completion and examination of her thesis; for strength and discernment for A; for Ginger’s nephew, who has health concerns and is suffering bullying – may he know health and strength and love; and for Ginger’s MIL who has been diagnosed with cancer;

... HadALittleFaith, for her to feel happier now that she has been prescribed anti-depressants; for rest and peace of mind; and for her to find a church where she feels comfortable and welcomed;

... JugglingFromHereToThere, for a job which interests and fulfils her, and for peace and love in her immediate and broader family;

... Kaykat, as she continues to deal with the breakdown of her marriage, giving thanks for the support she has already received and the strength which she has found, and praying that she is soon settled in her own home with her DS;

... LollipopViolet, as she mourns her grandad, and as she explores her faith;

... MadHairDay, for health as she lives with chronic illness - may she be well enough to spend this Christmas at home with her family and not in hospital; praying too for health and love and friendship for MHD’s DD;

... MaryBS, for her work as a Reader, for her DS, and for her friend who was recently diagnosed with stomach cancer;

... niminypiminy, as she begins ordination training; and praying also for her mum’s health, following a recent fall;

... PositiveAttitude and her family; in particular for her parents’ health and for PA and her sister as they take care of them; for her DD1, thanking God that her depression has lifted and that she is enjoying university, and praying for a job for her; for her DD3 who is pregnant, due in February – may she have a trouble-free pregnancy and birth and may she know the joy of being a mother; praying also for PA as her DD3’s pregnancy brings to her mind her DD, Emma, sadly born too soon; and for her DS who is struggling with settling back in the UK, for his studies and for a job for him; and finally praying for PA’s DH and DD4 in Cambodia – may they stay safe and well;

... RoomForALittleOne, for the whole family as her DH embarks on an exciting new curacy placement;

... tunnocksteacake and family, as they cope with Mr Tunnocks’ illness; and

... youretoastmildred, for her friend, R, for a swift recovery from her operation.

We pray also for more occasional visitors and those we haven’t seen for a while: for BoxOfDelights, for thegreenheartofmanyroundabouts, for JakeBullet, for jan and her DD, for notquiteagrownup, for SES, for Soozi, and for weegiemum. And we pray for those who read and pray but don’t post, for those who need our prayers but are afraid or too uncertain to post them, and for all those known to us in our own lives who need God’s love.

Calm us, O Lord, as You stilled the storm.
Still us, O Lord, keep us from harm.
Let all the tumult within us cease.
Enfold us, Lord, in Your peace. Amen

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DontstepontheMomeRaths · 16/11/2013 20:50

Bounty I'll pray for clarity. I have to say it took time until I felt I heard God in my marriage when I was trying to build up the courage to submit the divorce petition. I was in emotional turmoil for a long time. It's so hard and my marriage was much more cut and dried with an affair.

I probably recommended this book to you before but have you read Not Under Bondage by Barbara Roberts?

I would also say that this counsellor isn't right for your marriage, if the blame is being placed firmly on your shoulders. Please pm me if it helps I'm praying for you and I'm sure the other wise ladies will be along soon. Much love x

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Dutchoma · 16/11/2013 21:29

Bounty, you say: "You have been praying, my parents have been praying, the counsellor has been praying. I'm desperately trying to listen to what god is saying. I am totally open." What about your husband, dear Bounty? Has he been praying that he might fulfill the role of the Christian husband as outlined in Eph5:22-end? Has he been praying at all?
In my experience God speaks, but He only speaks once and then expects you to do as He tells you. At one stage you were convinced that it was better for your dd if you went. Maybe I am wrong but I think you know in your heart of hearts there is no hope for this relationship if you want to have any chance of being a person in your own right and not, as Mome says 'under bondage'.

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bountyicecream · 16/11/2013 21:34

Thanks both. I've not read that book. But will get it ordered to work. Thanks. Interesting dutchoma about god only speaking once. Yes I did feel certain once. I don't know what or even if my husband is praying.

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CharlotteCollinsinherownplace · 16/11/2013 22:07

bounty, hello lovely girl!

I would say God knows that one of the big problems of being in an EA marriage is that you do not trust your own judgement. I certainly wanted somebody else to tell me to leave. Nobody did, though. Not even God, now I come to think of it.

God has plans for our lives, yes, but there is a lot of room for us to make decisions, too. He has given us brains and designed adults to be capable of making good decisions! He is leaving the decision in your hands, bounty. You need to own it, I think, in order to move on from it. (Or with it?)

That book Mome suggested is good. What I heard from God, in reading that book, was that it was not wrong to leave. (Which is, of course, very different from "you must leave" or even "I want you to leave.") Look at it this way, he is not telling you to stay, either, is he? You can go either way. He'll find useful work for you to do on either path, I suspect.

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thehorridestmumintheworld · 16/11/2013 22:47

focusonthefamily
Focus is sometimes critised for being too conservative but even they don't recommend you just stay and let him abuse you.
God is not going to make this decision for you, but he is with you in your decisions good or bad. He will give you strength to continue on.

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CharlotteCollinsinherownplace · 16/11/2013 22:57

in reality he is in no less pain than the woman, but he usually does not know it

I'm sorry, but WTF? Can it be described as pain if he doesn't feel it??

Looks like those articles are written for women who believe that God WILL judge them if they leave their marriage. :(

And that Malachi verse: "God hates divorce." Well, yes, so do I - it's a painful, horrible thing to go through. But necessary, in my case. I am so grateful that GOD put that escape route in place for people like me, even though he's terribly sad that it's necessary.





Sorry if that was a rant.

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bountyicecream · 17/11/2013 00:19

Hi charlotte. You are so right about the not trusting my own judgement. And thehorridest you've hit the nail on the head I think about hoping god will decide for me. Thanks for clearing that up.

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BlessedAssurance · 17/11/2013 00:36

Hello everyone. Many moons ago i joined this thread but stopped coming. However I just felt like being here again and hope it's alright. I'm currently pregnant with DC2,a boy and all is well. However I have an exam coming soon and need some prayers. I also have an appointment with an eye specialist the day after my exam so hoping they will be able to help me. I have had the same problem for over a year and couldn't get an appointment so the eye is a bit of a pain. Thank you.

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thehorridestmumintheworld · 17/11/2013 01:28

As I mentioned focus is a very conservative, biblically based organization and they are never going to say LTB as a first option, but they do admit in the article that divorce may be unavoidable if counselling fails to help.
btw I don't think they just mean the sort of marriage counselling you might have if you are in a non abusive but difficult marriage but maybe the man getting psychological help to stop his abusive behaviours and maybe the wife getting help to stop accepting his abuse and heal from any previous abuse she has suffered.
But they do take it seriously and in another article they talk about a woman who had to go into a psychiatric hospital to heal from the results of an emotionally abusive marriage. They aren't saying stay there, pray and hope he changes.
personally I don't think God would be against leaving an abusive marriage but if bounty wants to feel she is following the bible she might feel better to know that even these very strong believers in the bible think that if you have tried counselling and it hasn't stopped the abuse you should divorce.
I used to be more biblical myself but I've moved away from that now, but I still like to turn to the bible for help when I am having problems. There is always something there to comfort me.

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DontstepontheMomeRaths · 17/11/2013 07:16

Blessedassurance praying.

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thehorridestmumintheworld · 17/11/2013 09:14

Just wanted to say Happy Sunday Thanks didn't mean to start any debates on this lovely prayer thread. I must admit I do find it hard not to give my advice and opinion! I'm not very good at just listening and giving support in prayer. So I pray I will get better at that, and trust God to be able to help through our loving prayers.

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CharlotteCollinsinherownplace · 17/11/2013 09:19

Yeah and sorry, I jumped into a debate with both feet! I didn't spot that about divorce being a possibility; read it as there will always be a way to stay together if the woman stops playing her part in the cycle of abuse, which felt yuk.

I will come to you for a more balanced translation in future!! :o

Happy Sunday all. I'm hoping to cycle out into the countryside this morning for some spiritual refreshment and then am looking forward to picking up DD3 after lunch after her newly shortened weekend contact. Yay!

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Kaykat · 17/11/2013 09:33

Hi Bounty I was also in an abusive marriage. My husband was also unfaithful which made the decision to divorce easier but it was the abuse that made me leave in the end. It was and is tough but I have been thankful for my freedom every day.

No decent counsellor would do joint counselling where there is abuse. By treating this as a joint problem she is supporting his abuse. This can't be solved by you changing your behaviour to accommodate his feelings. This isnt a psychological problem either, it is about his values and beliefs and the benefits he gets from treating you this way. For this reason I would ignore all that she has advised and don't let her persuade you it is your fault, it isn't.

If you are unsure what to do what about trying a trial separation? You can leave the final decision until you are ready and you might find that you can think more clearly without him constantly confusing and blaming you. I will pray for you too of course.

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Kaykat · 17/11/2013 09:40

Oh and abusive men always try to isolate us from our families. Keep them close my lovely, you need their support.

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Dutchoma · 17/11/2013 10:16

Charlotte is so right in saying "God does not make the decision for you, he's given you a brain to be able to do that for yourself".
I said:"God only speaks once", Charlotte says "Sometimes I cannot hear Him at all" and that is true as well.
I hope that what everyone has said on here has not made it even harder for you. I'm continuing in prayer for you and for all others on this board.

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amberlight · 17/11/2013 14:02

Praying also. The person who causes a divorce is the one who has the power and misuses it...power over who can see who. Power over who can be friends. Power over money. Power over jobs and responsibilities. Power over possessions and property. Where does the power lie, and how is it being used to help you to thrive? When you ask for what you need to thrive, is the answer 'yes, of course', or is it 'how dare you question me'?

Sometimes being apart is the most loving thing we can do. For ourselves, for our families, and for our partner too.

Keeping the eye situation etc in prayers also, Blessedassurance.

And keeping the Synod situation for the CofE in prayers for the next few days.

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Tuo · 17/11/2013 20:57

Time for a bit of a round-up methinks. The thread has moved quickly and I'm delighted and encouraged to see so many new (and returning) posters. Welcome all! Thanks

Praying, in particular, then, for...
... Badvoc's aunt and for all in the family affected by her illness;
... weegie, giving thanks for her own better health, but praying for her stepmum and for Kat, who are both seriously unwell and for all in the family affected by their illnesses;
... PandaG's mum in hospital, her dad coping without her, and for the whole Panda family;
... sleep for Room;
... the cloutie family;
... a job for Juggling;
... NeverKnowinglyUnderstood, for her relationship with her DS and for support for them to understand his anger and frustration and find ways to avoid it if possible;
... Faith, giving thanks that both she and Faithlet are feeling better and for a renewed relationship with her church;
... Phyll, for a troubling situation which is known to God;
... MHD that she stay out of hospital this Christmas;
... PA in her work situation, and also for her family - in particular for her parents and for her DD3's pregnancy;
... zulubump following the loss of both her beloved nans in the space of a few months - may light perpetual shine upon them;
... giving thanks that Kay will soon be in her new home - may it be a place of joy and new beginnings for her and her DS;
... harbinger's mum and dad with their various health problems;
... Plodding, that the harassment she is suffering may cease;
... BES for her DS to sleep better and for BES to be less often on the receiving end of his fear and frustration; also for her mum;
... amber - joining SunshineMMum in giving thanks for amber's work and for the real gift that she has for making ASD accessible and 'real' so that we can all learn to be more open and accepting;
... SunshineMMum and her DS, praying for him and for all children with special needs, that they may live in a world that focuses not on what they find difficult but on what they bring to it;
... bounty, praying that she may see a way forward opening up before her and have the courage and conviction to step onto it, knowing that God will go with her, and that our prayers will accompany her; and giving thanks for Mome, Kay, Charlotte and others who have been there and are able to share their experiences for the good of others;
... BlessedAssurance, for a healthy pregnancy, for her exam, and for her eye problem to be resolved by the forthcoming appointment;
... Mome's niece, baby Grace;
... Tunnocks, keeping prayer going for her DH and for the whole family;
... and for newbies trish, Ruby and Sunshine.

Praying also for the people of the Philippines and for all those who are working to help them, whether on the ground or through fund-raising.

If you can spare me a prayer, please pray for wisdom. I'm at a sort of a crossroads, work-wise, and may soon have to make a decision about where I go next (or I may not... and in a way I'm hoping it's taken out of my hands...). I am drawn in different, mutually exclusive, directions and am struggling to discern what's right for me and for my family, and where God wants me to be. And even though there's no decision to be made right now, I'm finding it hard to be patient and just see what will transpire, so I'm driving myself round the bend with 'what if's at the moment.

Also (and finally) praying for my church, which has had a bit of a strange week. It has been illuminating (not necessarily in a comfortable way) to see the difference between how a church (like any institution, in fact, I suppose) can feel from the inside, and how it can look from the outside, and to understand that both the insider's and the outsider's perspectives can be partial (in both senses of the word), and therefore that there's much to be learned by seeing the other side more clearly.

Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayers.

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NeverKnowinglyUnderstood · 17/11/2013 21:44

Thank you.
Praying for strength wisdom clarity and patience for all those who need it.

Hoping you all have a good week.

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amberlight · 17/11/2013 22:01

Tuo, thank you. Prayers assured. And would be appreciated for the funeral of a friend tomorrow.

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Tuo · 17/11/2013 22:21

Praying for your friend, amber, and for all affected by her/his death.

horridestmum - I'm sorry - I left you off my list. I was trying to carry names over from several pages and lost the plot somewhat (nothing new there!), so apologies. It wasn't deliberate. [Proffers Brew and Cake ] Also apologies to anyone else I forgot.

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PloddingDaily · 17/11/2013 22:40

Thanks...praying for everyone else too- it's good to be able to do this, thank-you for the thread!

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thehorridestmumintheworld · 18/11/2013 00:27

Thank you Tuo for starting this lovely thread and the cake. I am saying prayers for us all and may I add a prayer request for my elderly FIL he is a lifelong methodist and used to be a lay preacher for many years, but in the last few years he has grown increasingly housebound due to his mobility problems following a nasty break to the hip which has never healed properly and now he is becoming very forgetful and confused. He has not been to church for several years now even though they do run a minibus and i have offered to take him, and because he is rather awkward and unwilling to ask for help it is hard to do things for him. But he is a very kind man and I hope God will take good care of him.

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PositiveAttitude · 18/11/2013 08:00

Thanks for the very helpful round up Tuo. I will be praying through while I am bored at work this morning! also praying for your FIL Horridest

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Dutchoma · 18/11/2013 08:23

Time to come clean. Things have taken a tumble in the Oma and Bob household. Literally. Bob fell down the stairs on Friday morning. Thankfully nothing was broken although of course we were both shocked. We were more or less bullied into A&E (the fall happened too early for the falls team to be available) and we spent the day there. They even admitted him to a ward but we said we would not be spending the night there: we have such terrible experiences of out local hospital.
To be fair: we were treated very well while there but still... So they put 'carers' in place and to date we have had about 15 of them traipsing through the house. In some way it has helped Bob to get washed and dressed, but on the whole I have found it very disruptive. Obviously I am very tired as well and to be honest feeling more than a bit sorry for myself.
One of the carers said when I got very upset: "At the moment you are in denial but Bob is getting worse and you just have to accept it." That is a very togh statement.
Bob himself is remarkably well, everything considered. He is sleeping more, I think. At one point I got a phone call from the carers' service asking me whether I was sure he was still breathing. Not really I said, but if he is still asleep in two hours' time I will turn the ventilator off and see whether he is still breathing then. Of course he woke up in his own good time. AIBU to be irritated by that phone call?
Sorry for the essay, I have not had the energy to write it all down until now.

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JugglingFromHereToThere · 18/11/2013 10:11

I'm sorry to hear about Bob's fall Oma.
I guess it's good that carers are available to support people in their homes but seems rather unsatisfactory that you've had 15 different people.
Would be nice if you could develop a better relationship with a few wouldn't it? And then perhaps they wouldn't be so likely to come out with slightly random and un-encouraging comments?
Probably the service needs to be better resourced with better training for the carers.

Hope you have a better day today.
Have been learning and thinking a lot about mindfulness recently.
And Jesus's teaching to live one day at a time "as each day has enough troubles of it's own"
That lilies of the fields passage has always been one of my favourites.

Also liking the prayer in your post NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Thanks

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