AIBU ejecting mentally ill DD 29 from the house

[Baabaablackshee]

I have two DD's 27 and 29. Divorced when they were little, have been a single parent trying to hold down a job and look after them for most of their lives.

27 y/o diagnosed with autism, exhibits challenging (but not violent) behavior.

29 y/o is bipolar and has psychosis. Last night's DD29 got violent and I had to call the police twice. I am too scared to have her in the house.

Her cousin had cannabis induced psychosis and ended up murdering his flatmate.

DD 29 blames me for all her problems. I don't argue with her and have apologised repeatedly even where I don't agree with the facts but she is developing a visceral hatred of me and her sister. I was so scared yesterday.

Police eventually took her to my friend's Airbnb but they can only keep her for two days. She has stayed with my mother and other family members in the past but this always breaks down.

She is off her meds and refusing medical help for dear of being sectioned. I've arranged private individual and family therapy but she refuses to attend the family therapy.

If I don't take her back she will be homeless on Monday.

I don't know what to do for the best.

[bellac11]

@Isahlo

So if the police take her, they will more than likely take her to your local place of safety 136 suite for a mental health assessment she’s unlikely to spend a night in the cells

Sorry for answering back to front but didnt see this.

Unfortunately it is way more than likely that she would spend a night in the cells because there is no place of safety available, also waiting for MH services to send out the right person who may well never turn up or who goes away once the patient says they dont want an assessment /dont want to talk to the assessor.

[Diverseopinions]

You have to itemise the threatening behaviour and tell the Psychiatric personnel or police exactly what you are worried about, I think. The other information is not as relevant, so clear it to one side.

You need to say what behaviour you fear. Also say what you would want to achieve from her going to a Place of Safety. I'm presuming the issues are:

Her aggressive behaviour - if you believe she behaves in a dangerous way.

The concerns relating to what will happen is she isn't going to willingly take her meds.

[Baabaablackshee]

Thank you all for responding. I really appreciate the support and advice.

[Hattie888]

Hi, I just came across your thread. We are experiencing quite similar issues with my 42 year old sister. She lives independently and is very isolated! She has a history of long term physical illness and MH difficulties. She experienced steroid induce psychosis 4 years ago and sadly we had to make the very difficult decision to have her sectioned. She made a reasonable recovery with the right meds but has been very hostile to my mum and me ever since….blaming us for what happened and very much controlling the relationship on her terms (we only did the best to keep her safe but she doesn’t see it that way!) 4 years on and she is beginning to show signs of manic behaviour and dysfunctional thoughts again! we are so worried about history repeating itself but she is in denial and won’t get help (she has even got back in touch with her only friend out of the blue and even she can’t persuade her). We feel at our wits end and it’s so tiring to deal with the rude and aggressive side of her and is just developing more and more!!

I just wanted to say I know exactly how it feels from this side of things, the worry, guilt stress it cause the family members involved.
can I ask how things panned out for you?! I hope you’re all doing better now.

❤️

[Needaholidayyesterday]

@bellac11

For people mentioning sectioning, its almost impossible to get a hospital bed or for the system to recognise that someone needs detention.

We have people circling around police custody, then police detention, then taken to general hospital for assessment, then they discharge themselves, no one seems to stop this, then round and round again every single time theres an incident

Perhaps its different and more positive in other parts of the country. As OP says above she refused to go to the hospital with the paramedics, if the police detain her it will only be to see if the MH team will come out and assess, sometimes they wont even do that, other times they do but will then discharge their duties to the day teams and as I said round and round it goes.

OP is not responsible for that or for waiting for the inevitable attack on her or her daughter

I helped a friend in similar situation

it was over a weekend so crisis team unfortunately were next to useless. Weekdays is better but MH doesn’t see a calendar

if you can get her to the local mental health unit, stage a polite sit in until they find doctors and a bed.

it worked for us