I have two DD's 27 and 29. Divorced when they were little, have been a single parent trying to hold down a job and look after them for most of their lives.
27 y/o diagnosed with autism, exhibits challenging (but not violent) behavior.
29 y/o is bipolar and has psychosis. Last night's DD29 got violent and I had to call the police twice. I am too scared to have her in the house.
Her cousin had cannabis induced psychosis and ended up murdering his flatmate.
DD 29 blames me for all her problems. I don't argue with her and have apologised repeatedly even where I don't agree with the facts but she is developing a visceral hatred of me and her sister. I was so scared yesterday.
Police eventually took her to my friend's Airbnb but they can only keep her for two days. She has stayed with my mother and other family members in the past but this always breaks down.
She is off her meds and refusing medical help for dear of being sectioned. I've arranged private individual and family therapy but she refuses to attend the family therapy.
If I don't take her back she will be homeless on Monday.
I don't know what to do for the best.
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AIBU ejecting mentally ill DD 29 from the house
Baabaablackshee · 03/09/2022 20:14
bellac11 · 04/09/2022 09:59
For people mentioning sectioning, its almost impossible to get a hospital bed or for the system to recognise that someone needs detention.
We have people circling around police custody, then police detention, then taken to general hospital for assessment, then they discharge themselves, no one seems to stop this, then round and round again every single time theres an incident
Perhaps its different and more positive in other parts of the country. As OP says above she refused to go to the hospital with the paramedics, if the police detain her it will only be to see if the MH team will come out and assess, sometimes they wont even do that, other times they do but will then discharge their duties to the day teams and as I said round and round it goes.
OP is not responsible for that or for waiting for the inevitable attack on her or her daughter
Isahlo · 04/09/2022 19:44
So if the police take her, they will more than likely take her to your local place of safety 136 suite for a mental health assessment she’s unlikely to spend a night in the cells
Baabaablackshee · 03/09/2022 21:53
I did call the crisis team and they spoke to her but it only made things worse. Paramedics then came to the house and spent over an hour with her. She refused to go to hospital with them. The police said they would arrest her (as a last resort) but I didn't want her spending the night in the cells.
Wibbly1008 · 03/09/2022 20:20
Can you call the crisis team? Or is she under a specialist department at the hospital you can contact to inform them of her spiralling? I am so sorry you are going through this OP, must be terrifying.
bellac11 · 04/09/2022 19:33
Exactly, I wonder what universe people live in when I (often) read on here 'cant you get them sectioned'?
GeorgeorRuth · 04/09/2022 17:33
I would have her sectioned for her own sake as well as yours. If something happens while she is off her meds she will have even more to deal with
AFAIK only doctors can request a section. 2 doctors have to agree Family can't get a relative sectioned.
Baabaablackshee · 03/09/2022 21:53
I did call the crisis team and they spoke to her but it only made things worse. Paramedics then came to the house and spent over an hour with her. She refused to go to hospital with them. The police said they would arrest her (as a last resort) but I didn't want her spending the night in the cells.
Wibbly1008 · 03/09/2022 20:20
Can you call the crisis team? Or is she under a specialist department at the hospital you can contact to inform them of her spiralling? I am so sorry you are going through this OP, must be terrifying.
GeorgeorRuth · 04/09/2022 17:33
I would have her sectioned for her own sake as well as yours. If something happens while she is off her meds she will have even more to deal with
AFAIK only doctors can request a section. 2 doctors have to agree Family can't get a relative sectioned.
Iwanttoslowdown · 03/09/2022 21:58
I think you already know the answer to this and it’s to let her grow up and make her own choices. You have done a great job to date of protecting her, but long term she has to know that violence has consequences. You give her notice that if there is violence or the threat of violence again she will be thrown out.
flowertoday · 03/09/2022 20:23
You sound like a great mum to have coped so well for both of your daughters needs for so long.
From what you have said your older daughter is clearly not well, and is a risk to herself and others. In those circumstances consideration of an admission to hospital ( under a section of the mental health act if necessary) or other crisis help is indicated ( as hard as that sounds and is).
If she is homeless come monday , this will force the issue of her getting help. Taking her back home may kick the can down the road, but won't help her or you, or your other daughter stay safe in the longer term.
If you are concerned about her mental health there should be a number you can call in your area. Or failing that 111 will be able to advise / put you in touch with the right service.
💐🦋
MrsNobodyMM · 03/09/2022 20:23
I wouldn't turn her away - she's your daughter and in dire need of support.
I think it's unfair to mention her cousin - two completely separate people.
It seems you've made your decision anyway.
Wibbly1008 · 03/09/2022 20:20
Can you call the crisis team? Or is she under a specialist department at the hospital you can contact to inform them of her spiralling? I am so sorry you are going through this OP, must be terrifying.
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