MIL has got DS a computer for his 4th birthday. WWYD?

[justaphase]

I need some perspective here. I know that there is no avoiding the games and computers but I wanted to put it off for as long as possible for my kids, at least while I can control what they play with. I want him to run outside and use his imagination, not sit in front of a screen.
Am I being precious, is he going to be obsessed with the stuff anyway in six months? Or are most kids this age not bothered and he will just ignore it?
His birthday is in 2 weeks, he just proudly told me yesterday that she has got this for him. I gather it is a kid's laptop with some education activities and several games.
I just want to take it from her and hide it.

Or maybe I should only show him the education activities and make sure he gets really bored with the thing quickly ....

Am I overreacting?

[Tambajam]

I appreciate the internet can be addictive. I also feel that labelling computers as intrinsically evil (which I don't think the OP is doing) is a bit silly. My DS watched a short video on starling formations and talked about it for days afterwards. Surely that's about as wholesome as you can get. They are simply a tool and parental discretion is always advised. Not that my DS really engages in them but it's sensible to distinguish between different types of games. 'Games' are also not bad in themselves and vary massively in quality. A huge proportion of what goes on in classrooms to enable learning is a game and usually without a computer. Computers can offer games which require imaginative thinking, social interaction and quality learning.

[wannaBe]

tambajam actually there is a lot of evidence that computers are extremely addictive and internet addiction is a recognized addiction for which

help is available

Also, to suggest that computers and videogames are totally different is totally wrong IMO. Because while computers do have other uses, playing games is something most computer users do. And even the educational sites for children are made up mostly of games.

And as I said before, there's a vast difference between allowing access to a computer and giving a child one of their own. At four there is absolutely no reason for a child to have their own computer. What the hell for?

My nearly seven year old has access to dh's computer. He doesn't need one of his own, and won't be getting one any time soon. Why on earth should someone spend £2/300 on a computer for a four year old if they can have access to the family computer?

[Bucharest]

Dd had a Barbie laptop thing when she was 4 and an updated version last Christmas...she tinkers about on it every so often, nice, fun but educational games....

She uses my computer for cbeebies, playhouse disney etc (and FB fish world!) and has done keyboard skills in her last year at nursery.

Don't see a problem....DS/nintendo and all that malarkey though, is more hardcore and dd doesn't know what they are even yet.....
(we're a bit of a luddite household really!)

[justaphase]

I am not anti computer Tambajam, I let DS mess about with my laptop occasionally. Although I really do not think they are necessary at just four.

I am, however anti computer games at this age. I know they are unavoidable, even more so for a subsequent child, but would like to delay his exposure to them for as long as possible. A friend's DS is just 2 and obsessed with his PSP already. That I do not want for my son.

[Tambajam]

She sadly didn't get him a computer. She got him an electronic games device. Not the same thing.
I don't think it's helpful to think of 'games and computers' in one breath. That's just not the reality and certainly won't be the reality for our children's lives in adulthood. My DS (just 5) spends a couple of hours a week on the BBC Natural History pages looking at video clips, writing on Word, playing with poissonrouge. It's no biggy. It's one activity he might choose to do in a range of options. He also takes pics with a digital camera and downloads them.
I would personally avoid a kid's laptop for the reasons mentioned previously. The screen on a kid's laptop can be pretty painful. The activities offered can be shocking in quality. Leapster games are better quality than most of these laptops.
I wouldn't buy my son a PS or DS or Wii because there's just no need. He has other ways to play but a proper computer is a window to a world. It's not addictive and they are here to stay. A lot of children starting school begin with some experience of computing, some basic mouse control and an understanding of how a keyboard works. I'm just waffling on like this because I think it seems a shame that you are anti-computer at his age. However I would also sigh if my DS was given a kid's fake laptop.

[wannaBe]

tbh I think there's a vast difference between allowing a 4 year old access to a computer/games console and giving them one of their very own.

I think it is important that children learn computer skills (games consoles optional though), as computers are part of every day life, and the younger they gain some computer skills the easier they will find it. But a computer is not a cheap item, and if you have a computer in the house already there really is no need for a 4 year old to have a computer of their very own.

Also, if we're buying them their own computers/expensive games consoles at three/four, what do you buy them when they're seven/eight?

It strikes me that children are being bought everything when they're so young, and consequently will grow up with the expectation that they will be given whatever they want.

Is it any wonder that kids are growing up with no concept of the value of money.

[ElectricElephant]

Tell he she is freakishly organised - Xmas is 3 months away yet!

[clayre]

I think your over reacting, last year on my dd's school report card one of the negative things was she needed to improve her keyboard skills, she was only in P1, they learn computer skills from nursery all you can do is monitor it at home.

[overmydeadbody]

I agree with MrsMagnolia though, I'd much prefer a real computer.

[overmydeadbody]

yes you are over-reacting.

Presuably you have said thank you?

Nothing wrong with computers. It's all about variety.

I limit how muh reading my DS does as I want him to do other things apart form just read for hours on end. It's the same with computers.

Nothgin wrong with computers and computer games.

[VulpusinaWilfsuit]

Say thank you?

Presumably this has been said before on this thread?

Anyhow, if you limit it, you will find that computers, like any information tool are all about what you do on them. School classrooms pretty much all have them so what's the problem?

[thirtypence]

Leapster is still great for 6.5 years boy with a year 4 maths age. Would highly recommend one.

[francagoestohollywood]

It largely depends on your son's personality.
Both my dc weren't interested at all in laptops etc at that age. Still aren't that bothered now, and they are 7 and 5.

[MoonTheLoon]

Leapster is excellent dollshouse, my DS has about 8 or 9 different cartridges (game came with 3) which he has built up over the last two years, some are fun ones (Cars, Spiderman etc.) and others are educational like maths. He plays on it in the car or if he justs wants a bit of quiet time away from his younger brother. He is not addicted to it by any means. For us it was money well spent.

[TotalChaos]

these kiddie type laptops don't tend to have good screens, often the screens are small and black on grey, I really don't think it's going to be addictive.

[thedollshouse]

MTL. I was thinking of getting ds a leapster for xmas as he has outgrown his laptop and I don't want to go down the ds route yet. Would you recommend it? He is 5.

[alison222]

my chiildren are aged 8 and 6 and my mum has just asked if she can buy one for them for Christmas. I am still mulling this over as DS is a computer freak and I might have to hide it under my pillow in order for him to sleep if he has one. I can't decide and he will be 9 before X-mas

[llareggub]

Elk, really? A DS for a 3rd birthday? My DS is 3 next month and I'd never think of buying him a DS. What games would a 3 year old play? Is there some sort of benefit to it which has passed me by? DS is as likely to play frisbee with it I think. He has no concept of looking after expensive things at all. I'd imagined this sort of device for an 7, 8 year old maybe.

[MoonTheLoon]

I have resisted the computer games like Nintendo stuff but DS has had a Leapster for a couple of years and he still loves it. The thing about that is it's fun but not so fun that he wants it for hours and it's educational (depending on the games you buy). DS1 is 5.6 and I'm wondering how long I can hold off with the Nintendo stuff.

[cluckyagain]

Honestly - that sounds like a lovely present - if it's only a kids computer it will be fine and very enjoyable for your ds.

[thedollshouse]

They are great for long car journeys.

[Elk]

dd2 (nearly 4)loves computers she enjoys the cbeebies website and would spend hours on it if she could. Those childrens computers with a few educational bits on she has looked at and then ignored.

Dd1 was given a nintendo ds for her 3rd birthday, although she has been given fairly free access to it, it is only in the last 6 months or so she has really got into it, she is 6.

We also have a family Wii which we all play on together.

[justaphase]

I can limit his screen time but it just adds another battle. I think boring him is the way to go. In fact, I might insist on him doing some educational activities regularly [evil]

[MoonTheLoon]

I never let my DS on it for more than half an hour, it doesn't turn them into zombies! He takes great pleasure in many things, this is just one of them.