Why do MY kids seem to talk so much more than others?

[Spidermama]

I have four children aged 10, 9, 7 and 4 and they talk to me non stop. I can't get away with a simple 'hmm' or 'uh huh' in response either. I always have to look at their art work several times before it has finished.

It's driving me mad.

But for the odd day or two DH is away touring from now until Septemper.

I look around at other kids in the parks and playgrounds and they don't seem to demand as much attention as mine do. DH is a big talker and also demands my attention. I'm wondering if they ALL take after him.

It's a pity because my family were the opposite. We barely talk to each other and so that's the way I was brought up.

I'm utterly craving some head space and I really think I might flip out if it goes on like this throughout the summer holidays.

Any advice or words of support, sympathy, understanding?

I'm off to heave my heavy bones up to the school run.

[KTNoo]

Do your dcs repeat themselves over and over and louder and louder if you're talking to one of the other dcs and they want your attention? I have been telling them to wait since they started talking at age 2 or so but they STILL do it. It's not what they're saying that's annoying, it's the fact that they can't seem to wait one minute until I'm finished the conversation I'm having already. Today dd1(8) got shouted at for saying "Can we have lunch?" about 100 times at the same time I was trying to explain to ds (for the 100th time) how to work his bloody omnitrix.

[Horton]

Oh no, it really wouldn't, oneplusone! I found it hilarious the first few times and used to try and get more out of him (he used to say random things like 'custard' and then lapse back into snuffling and mumbling). But the novelty of that wore off very fast and now I mainly feel resentful because someone talking to you in the middle of the night wakes you up much more than snoring or farting (and he does both those too).

I meant to say, Spidermama, DH is a techie so that is why I get treated to discourses on cranes and suchlike I think. I have been trying to decide if the Tao Te Ching would be worse or better (slightly hampered by the fact that I keep wanting to call it Tsing Tao which is, er, beer).

[oneplusone]

I love the idea of a quiet room. The only room that might work for me is the kitchen. I think i am going to try and put a lock on the inside of the door in time for the summer hols. I have a feeling that things could get quite bad and I will feel better knowing I have an escape plan (if only as far as the kitchen, at least the tea and biscuits will keep me going for a while!)

Horton, I had to laugh at your DH even saying "Interesting!" in his sleep! My DH only farts very loudly in his sleep! It would be far more interesting if he talked! (sorry slightly off topic there i know).

[noddyholder]

I don't know how you all cope!we are all quite quiet and my best freind has 5 noisy kids who talk incessantly.They have just been for the weekend and ds has always been fascinated with his raucous cousins but needs a lie down on his own when they go!He's only 15!!!His eyes are on stalks at the bickering etc and he really enjoys it for a day or two.Dp and I both have such a headache tonight that we both took painkillers!Unheard of usually

[Horton]

All of these are fab stories and have made me laugh so much.

Love the idea of a Quiet Room but I don't think it's workable in this house at the moment. I might designate the dining room a quiet room when DD is old enough to play upstairs on her own a bit.

[siblingrivalry]

Spidermama, thanks so much for starting this thread -I am PMSL. I love your aeroplane story -we have been there!

We were out for lunch yesterday and dd2 launched into a barrage of questions about how food turns into poo To make it worse, she has a really high-pitched voice (think Minnie Mouse!)and her voice carries

I started to lose the will to live.

[KTNoo]

The important question was "Why didn't you bring any green paint with you to grandma's house? We neeeeeeed it!"

[KTNoo]

The feeling of "tension" at having train of thought interrupted is exactly right.

It's awful at the moment - dh is away, we are sort of homeless as we are moving house next month and staying with my parents in between. The dcs miss their friends and have no one to play with except each other (and me if I can be bothered).

I've just ordered the tv off and told them to go outside. They were out there for about 2 minutes when some pushing happened and 2 out of 3 started crying and trying to come back in. They were all 3 talking to me through the glass in my parents' back door. So they came in on the condition they went to play upstairs, and I switched on computer. That was about a minute ago, and already I hear the dreaded sound of little feet coming down the stairs accompanied by "Mmmmuuuuuummmmmmyyyyy?" with that intonation that tells you they have yet another important question.

Good grief. Maybe if I go into the garden and lock them in the house?

[Spidermama]

Qally your DH and mine would have so much to talk about in such minute detail.

I love the idea of a quiet space. I think for me it will have to be the kitchen/dining room area of my house which is large and open plan and downstairs. Then they could have the sitting room upstairs.
It's not ideal as it's a kitchen/dining room but it's the only possible chance I have.

Daisy and DrDelux mine also develop a interest in gardening whenever I try to hide in the garden for ten minutes.

DH thinks they bother me more than him specificically because I don't want to be talked to all the time.

[Qally]

Oh, and DH is fascinated by the politics/economics of obscure countries. We had tickets for Question Time a couple of weeks back, and they screen the guests to ensure they aren't total cretins, so they ask for 2 questions you want to ask. When I spoke to the woman, I said "did my DH ask about some coup in some obscure region, at all?" and she said, "YES! Hon...Hon..." - me- "Honduras?" "Yes! I had to explain that that wouldn't really be a ratings hit."

It's better than when I was helping him revise for his Finals, though. I've forgotten more about the Quebecois separatist movement in Canada than I ever wanted to learn. And he chose that paper.

[Qally]

Spidermama, as a kid I lived in s communal household for a few years - 5 kids and 3 adults in total. There was an Adults Room. We were allowed in, but we had to sit quietly, watch tv, read, and behave. Mayhem was for our own rooms. It worked really well, and we never felt excluded because the rules were for everyone, and being there felt like a treat. Dunno if that helps, but it was fine with us. If I have more cd crosses fingers I'll do the same thing. So the Quiet Room works beautifully, IME.

[DrDeluxe]

Gosh, have just realised had only read page one of this thread when posted.

Have vision of many women locked in toilets with foam ear plugs this summer whilst children batter the doors talking incessantly.

It could be a story line in Torchwood.

[DrDeluxe]

Thank you for this thread Spidermama. It too has made me feel that I am not alone (although t'would be hard to forget that with the constant loud yakking going on around me) Even now, although no one is actually talking the house is reverberating to DPs loud snoring. Loud radio or other music only adds to the mix.

My worst culprit is DS (5) who is totally incapable of not talking for even 2 minutes (we have tried that challenge). Unfortunately the tension it causes in me frequently results in me becoming loud shouty and scary.

I have treid making them go out into the garden but this didn't work. They weren't keen - ha I thought I'll go out into the garden - they won't follow. No this didn't work either - suddenly they were out there exhibiting an unnnatural interest in horticulture.

What is incredibly frustrating about all this is that often they are trying to be helpful in their own hamfisted way "can I help dust/ wash up/ chop veg for tea" when all I want is for them to bog off so that I can get the job done quickly and then lurk about in the loo quietly.

If left with each other chatting usually escalates into taunting/ teasing/ annoying each other which evetually requires intevention.

Am hoping to survive summer by letting house go to pot and going out a lot to wide open spaces or getting serious swine flu induced ear infection which will make me temporarily deaf.

[daisy99divine]

Very interesting thread and I love the idea of a quiet room. My DS is 3 and talks A LOT but then so do I. It is my DH who gets the brain bleed, but I wonder if perhaps I ought to learn to love silence as well as DS. We could learn together. This has made me think a lot

LOL at Horton's shoe stroker

[Spidermama]

Horton I'm crying laughing at the 'Interesting' observation. I totally recognise that one. In fact DH, who's home for a couple of days, did exactly that this evening whilst leafing through and comparing two different versions of the Tao Te Ching. 'Interesting'. My train of thought was instantly broken and I was forced to pause my Mumsnetting and say, 'What?' (out of politeness) only for him to inform me that he found it fascinating to compare two passages from the Tao Te Ching which though similar the passages are quite strikingly different even though they are the same because some theologians are didactic about the precise words of the bible and yet none of it was translated into English so being fussy ...' you get the picture. ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


Most women complain because their DHs hardly talk but just grunt now and again. What a dream come true for the likes of you and me eh?

My DH works in theatre too as it goes. He's an actor.

[IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern]

Tell you what Spidermama i'll give you my phone number and you can pitch your dc's against my dd. She never ever ever stops, even her poor brother at night you can hear her going "A are you awake??? A, A, A are you awake??" she gets no answer but doesn't let that stop her
She asked me a question yeaterday I answered it and in her pause for breath told her I was nipping to the loo...she followed me of course still chatting away..I shut the door she continued talking through the door..nothing like that to give you stage fright
I end up feeling guilty especially as DS had such bad speech delay and I was desperate for him to talk but she more than made up for it.

I have tried the quiet place/room/ hiding in the garden for 5 minutes and none of them work she just cannot manage to stop for a second.
When she was ds was a small baby, was going to a friends house for dinner I was grabbing a few bits in the shops that friend had asked for and she was chattering away so I said ok let's have a competition see who can stay quietest the longest. She peered into the pram and said "my brother will win, he's asleep" in that instant I realised my 3 year old was smarter than me and I was fighting a never ending battle.

[Horton]

"Mine will say, tingling with anticipation, 'Do you know WHY a sofa is so called?' and I know the next half hour of my life will be given over to a fullsome explanation involving intricate details of our history."

Does yours say 'Oooh, interesting!' and then pause, meaningfully, so that you just have to say 'what?' to be polite and you just know that it totally won't be and he will spend the next half hour telling you all about how cranes work or what exactly they do at sewage works? Because if he does, we may be married to the same man. Although DH is not on tour over the summer. He does work in theatre, though, so in a parallel life I suppose he could have been. I really hate the feeling of earplugs or I would have resorted to them long ago. Mine even says 'interesting!' in his sleep.

[KTNoo]

You have my sympathy - I have had many simliar plane experiences. Bit better now that they all have their own seats, and one of them can read her own book at least. I shamelessly get them to ask the cabin crew for help opening their drinks and to take them to the toilet!

[Spidermama]

I remember going on a plane once with two of mine. DS2 who was 6 at the time and ds4 who was 1. When we finally got on the plane (had rapidly to change plans as pushchair was NOT allowed as hang luggage after all despite telephone assurances during booking) we had to sit in the two seats next to a young woman with a book.

DS4 thrashed around on my knee all sweaty as the plane's take off was delayed for an hour and DS2 talked absolutely non stop about clouds, planes 'How high will we be? Does the queen go on a plane? How does it stay up?' It was literally non stop.

I tried to catch the window woman's eye but she was staring straight out of the window, white knuckled gripping the book. Honestly she was fuming. By the end of the flight I felt like saying, through my tears, 'Huh! You think it's bad for YOU. At least you can peel off now. They're comeng WITH me!'

Then there's the terrible guilt for feeling this way about them even though they're not being naughty.

[Spidermama]

Sorry about your train journey. I had a four and a half hour train journey last week alone with the kids so you have my complete sympathy.

I don't know what possessed me to bring a book as I didn't get to read a word. I should have known better.

They talked, argued loudly, squirmed around the carriage and got up and down to go to the loo constantly, dropped the now unlidded pens I'd brought over and over again and bashed into the seat of the person in front whilst retrieving them.

Some passengers looked at me with sympathy. Others were white knuckled and clearly assumed it was all my fault.

[KTNoo]

Thanks, Spidermama, but don't hold out much hope for that! Someone once said to me that I could have 100 children and I wouldn't get a quiet passive one.

[KTNoo]

Today we went on a train and ds was so excited he just did not shut up for the entire journey. He wanted to know the name of everything he could see out of the window - after a while my answer to him (heard by whole carriage) was "I DON'T BLOODY KNOW!" Not one of my finer parenting moments.

None of my children seem to "internalise" anything - every thought they have needs to come out of their mouths. I've tried explaining to them that lots of thoughts can stay in your head, but they just looked at me like I was mad.

[Spidermama]

oneplusone I wonder if there's a link here. My DH also has a loud mum who talks almost non stop so he can zone out the racket. It's funny but the only time DH isn't talking is when MIL comes to visit.

[Spidermama]

All the best with number 4 KTNoo.
You never know (S)he might turn out to be the quiet, orderly one. There might even be a touch of OCD if you're really lucky.

[oneplusone]

HILARIOUS thread! Is there space in the boat for one more? DD (5) has also talked non-stop from around the age of 1. I remember when she was younger and i was putting her to bed, she would be chatting away and then all of sudden fall asleep mid-sentence!

DS (3) who i was hoping would be quieter has suddenly also started talking nearly non stop too.

I am a quite reflective person so the chatter does do my head in, i do tell DD to stop talking sometimes as it's making my head hurt. DH seems to be able to zone it all out, i think he's used to years of zoning out his mother who also talks non-stop (I blame her for DD's motor mouth)