how many stay at home moms? would you rather work?

[justamom]

just a question out of curiosity. i worked with my first and stay at home mommy with ds...i love staying at home but sometimes i wonder who i am...the whole world evolves around what they need and i really am not selfish ( i don't see how any good mom could be )....

the day never ever stops... having a great time just trying to type this ds is using me for a jungle gym...

i am supposed to go back to school when ds is doing better....we have a few minor set backs with him... but i wonder if i am taking for granted staying at home or if i am right for being soooooooo ready to read a book...and for someone to ask how i am doing today....

one day i was talking about a fried of mine...quite a bit that day and my dd says to me," why are you talking to much about kelly? you normally only talk about xoxoxox, xoxoxoxo and oxoxoxo. " i never realized until then just how unattatched to the real world that i have gotten..

[pepsi]

No I would much rather be at home. Havent worked for 5 years now and dont intend to. The years at home with them are very prescious to me....theres years ahead of me when they grow up to do the other stuff.

[Noggermum]

I work three days per week and is perfect compromise for me - love my time at home, but equally love my time away from the little cherub! And the cash is v. v. helpful. There are days when it all gets too much, but that happens whether you are at home full time, working full time, or something in the middle! Whatever rocks your boat i say. The hardest part is trying not to feel guilty and we are all made to - SAHM's for not contributing economically, working mums for failing/depriving their kids in some way. Now that's the real downer.

[lavenderrr]

I was a SAHM for 6 years (but went back to work p-t in the evenings when ds was 4 1/2)...and I wouldn't have wanted to work outside the home, got so much satisfaction from caring for our 2, we were very poor then but we lived within our means....suffice to say have done something right as ds and dd's teacher's were extremely pleased with their progress, at the parents evening, they are doing so well..(would do it all again) maybe am a saddo though ,,,nice to chat with adults though after a while so can understand people wanting to go back, just not for me.

[suedonim]

I'm a sahm and love it. I was amazed when 17yo dd1 told me recently that very few of her friends mums work and those that do work are not FT. I think the mums find teenagers need a lot more support than they'd imagined at this stage.

[justamom]

just a question around what are the ages of the mums that still like staying home,,, i am thinking that there may be a connection between the middle aged woman and the older than middle aged and of course the younger mums....
i myself late late 20s...still got the speed demon inside of me alot.....
the reason i asked is because someone mentioned a teenager...and i can see myself more well rounded and calmer and more prone to just BE HAPPY with life...when my childen are older and i am too...sometimes i wish i could just calm down....

[mamadadawahwah]

I am a stay at home Mom for the minute, at least until hubbies money keeps rolling in. I cant see any other reason to work, apart from having a real financial need. I know i would just worry all day about ds and I am so grateful that i dont have to work. Work would bring all kinds of other pressures and I personally cant say it would be worth it. Time with ds is so precious and they grow so fast, dont want to miss one moment of it. Different if i had ten though.

[PuffTheMagicDragon]

I'm getting bored now tbh.

[Lonelymum]

I am a SAHM but if I had my time again, I would like to work part time - maybe one day a week - just to give me a different identity and keep my hand in. I am on the brink of being able to go back to work now but after nine years at home, it just seems to great a step.

[ionesmum]

I'm a SAHM and am so lucky, I'd have gone off my head if I'd had to work. There are times when it gets frustrating, when every day seems to be the same, but it's worth every minute of it. I am keeping my hand in with my previous life in various ways, but nothing is more important than raising my children and giving them as much security as possible. I guess the problem is that our ultimate aim - to raise responsible, nice adults - is far in the future, so it takes a couple of decades to get results!

[handlemecarefully]

I work part time - three days a week, but job is god awful dull.

Personally I believe that it is virtually impossible to have a part time job which is rewarding. Most employers subconsciously write you off when you go part time and you get less interesting work.

Before babies I managed a budget of £20M and 500 staff, so I cut could the mustard. Now I spend most of my working days on mumsnet. I do wonder what I am doing at work rather than being with my little ones.

So, in short I am thinking of becoming a SAHM. Might as well really since the career is no longer a career but rather, a dull as dishwater job.

[pinotgrigio]

This is interesting. I stayed at home until DD was 1, worked for 1 year (Milan, Bangkok, Slough(!)) and am now about to become a SAHM again. I can't wait. I've so missed out on being with DD, although it was for the best.

I can honestly say, I think being at home is much harder than being in the office, although the difficulty of being a working mum is that you have to fit everything else around your working day - doctors, supermarkets, cleaning, washing etc. All my colleagues think I'm a complete waste of space because I always put DD first - I threw away my career and 'competent' reputation, but quite frankly, I don't care. DD is much more important.

The same applies to my feelings of self-worth - I was a high earning "professional". I felt much more pride about having DD than I ever did about some Europe-Wide project I ran at work. I was never ashamed about my status when I didn't work. I was raising a child! What's more important than that?

[ionesmum]

What's with the working/not working thing? Just realised I said it in my post too - 'If I'd had to work'! Being a mum is the hardest work I've ever done in my life! Work outside the home is what I should have said...

[jenweber630]

I'm staying at home - my ds is 3 1/2 months and I'm thinking once he's a year old and weaned from BFing I may change careers from being a speech therapist to a weekend photographer so I can set my own hours and my husband can have more 1:1 time... I'm finding that it's hard maintaining my identity but am keeping active by going to a weekly group and postnatal yoga so I can have adult interaction.

[dot1]

I work full-time - am the main breadwinner in the family - but negotiated to work 'flexibly' - ie I race home early whenever I can! I have a very generous amount of annual leave and so almost feel that my balance is right, although in an ideal world I think I'd stay at home 1 - 2 days a week. To be honest, although it goes without saying I love my kids etc.etc., I think I'd go a bit bonkers if I was a full-time SAHM...

The thing that makes me feel most guilty isn't going to work full-time, but things other people say - like they don't know how I cope being at work, and how hard it must be. I think they mean it in a nice way, but somehow I think they're thinking I must be this hard, non-maternal-type person - whereas I'm the complete opposite - a ridiculous softy when it comes to being a Mummy... Just like working aswell.

[ghosty]

I am a SAHM ... I am glad I am, I wouldn't change it, but it is bloody hard work ....
In order to become a SAHM I had to do a drastic thing ... I went back to work when DS was 4 months - hated it .... there was nothing for it but to sell up and emigrate to ... New Zealand, where we could live on one income (just!) ... Did that when DS was 2 years old.
3 years on I don't regret it ... I now have a DD who is 14 months and I am able to run a business from home around her ....

[WestCountryLass]

I love being a SAHM!

I am very lucky in so much as DH is self employed and we have a good lifestyle and can afford to do lots of activities with the kids. If money were more of an issue I am not sure how much I would like it as being stuck inside all day would drive me bonkers!

[Cooperoo]

I love being a SAHM and really wouldn't want to go back to work at the moment. I know that I would miss dd too much and be jealous of the person I left her with whilst I was working. I am expecting a second baby in June as well and hope to be a SAHM until s/he is at least three. We live comfortably at the moment as we are overseas but things will change alot when we move back to the UK in Jan, however the sacrifices will be so worth it for me and hopefully the children (and DH agrees thankfully). We were discussing when I would go back to work recently as I want to retrain as well and to be honest I found the whole discussion overwhelming. I think this is because I am so not ready or in a position to do it at the moment. At least I hope so as I do think I should earn some money for the family at some point...... I do sometimes feel selfish as I am not prepared to comprimise on this issue at the moment, or for a few years yet.

[bensmum3]

We also changed our lifestyle drastically and moved to Scotland, I have been a SAHM for the past 2 and a half years (doing B&B)and have loved every minute of it, , but, I've just got a part time job and I'm wondering how I'm going to manage, I think I will miss ds2 so much, although in another year and a half ds2 will be able to come to work with me, dh will look after ds2 whilst I'm at work, and I'll always be there when dd and ds1 come home from school.We are now much poorer in monetry terms, but have a much richer lifestyle,I do need non mummy time as much as dh needs non daddy time, but at the moment were doing just fine.

[desperatehousewife]

have been a sahm for 2.7 years and am gagging to get out and work again. Being a sahm isn't everything I thought it would be. It's bloody hard work! And relentless. Was in my local paper this week interviewed for a feature on women returning to work and the challenges facing them (childcare costs, inflexible employers etc) this is my big bug bear at the moment.

[Titania]

I have been a sahm for about 5 and a half years now. I think that it is a much harder job!! I sometimes think I would like to go back to work to break what sometimes feels like total monotany, but I know that I would miss my children too much. It isn't practical for me to go back to work at the moment anyway cos of childcare. However DH is suffering with sciatica at the moment and the way things are going, he will be signed off. It might be that he becomes a SAHD and I go to work. Will have to see what happens!