Confession time - 4.3 year old still v. attached to her dummy....

[MollyCherry]

...has anyone else managed to wrestle it away from a child this age and how the hell did you do it?

We've tried intermittently for over a year - the first attempt it was like watching a drug addict go cold turkey at bedtime.

Then we tried replacing it with a cuddly toy, nope!

We try to only let her have it at night or if she's under the weather, but it makes it v. hard work as she needs constant entertaining to distract her.

We went to a friends wedding in October and she palled up with my mates niece who was her bridesmaid and was rather taken with the necklace she was given as her thank you present. I thought Santa might write her a letter saying he'll bring her something similar if she gives her dummy up by Christmas.

Any thoughts/advice??!!!

[MollyCherry]

Mrsm - it's a lovely idea but my DD knows I'd be a soft touch in that dept. She's already had countless promises of Barbie stickers from the dentist if she's given it up next time she has a check up, but the six months in between is a lifetime to a 3/4 year old so within a couple of days her good intentions are out the window...

[mrsmike]

I have a 3 yr old who is also very attached to the dummy at night. Was talking to the dentist last week about it who is in the same boat, and she is getting an advent calendar for her 3 yr old, and every night that he goes to sleep without it, he will get an advent calendar chocolate the next morning. (yes, that's the dentist recommending this plan ). I am still deciding whether to go down this route ...

[Stinkyfeet]

I know it's really hard. I remember when ds1 gave up his - he threw them away, all proud thinking what a big boy he was. When he went to bed that night, it suddenly dawned on him what he'd done - he was devastated. But, honestly, I'd say after 2 nights he'd forgotten and never looked back.

You must persevere though, and don't give in - it just makes it harder in the long run!

[MollyCherry]

In all honesty I do think cold turkey's the way to go. Last time we tried it we were camping in the back garden (only decent week of weather last year, but previously had been pissing down so usual campsites out of action and needed to try out new tent - and a bit eccentric!!!). It took over 2 and a half hours to settle her, then a couple of hours later she had some kind of night terror. DH - who was man of steel until then - was so freaked he said 'get the dummy - now!' and that was the end of that attempt.

She had a fave piglet dummy which we replaced with a piglet cuddly last year - that did sod all.

I am starting to get freaked out by her dependency on the bloody thing. I worked until June of this year, but now I'm full time mum so is the ideal time to broach the subject, but in a way makes it harder as no let up....

think I just need moral support (and valium?)

[Stinkyfeet]

I think cold turkey's the way to go. Get her to choose a fab present for when she's given it up. Make her throw all the dummies in the bin. Don't get them out, don't buy any more. Distraction during the day. At bedtime, accept she'll be upset, sit with her until she settles. Hopefully the next day will be a bit easier ... the next easier still .... and so on. That's what we did with ds1 - he was about 3 and only had it at bedtimes by then, so it was fairly easy.

Ds2 still has his during the day as well - this it what we'll be doing with him when he hits 3!

[hecate]

Well, getting their agreement to give it up - donating to a needy baby for example, would be the ideal thing, but let's be honest - how often does that bugger work?

ds1 was dummy mad! In the end, i threw them out and let him scream. first night was hell. but by the end of the week, he'd given up and moved on.

I also grab plasters by the corner and RRRRRRRRRIIIIIIP lightening speed. [evil mother]

Bigger pain but over sooner. Spend ages faffing about, trying to make it painless but all you really do, is prolong the agony. iyswim.

[thisisyesterday]

hmm well I would firstly absolutely insist on the only at bedtime rule.
then, I would refuse to buy any more. and make her responsible for all the remaining dummys.

when she wakes up they go into a little pot by her bed. when she ggoes up to bed she can have it again.
cut down on it, it will be a BIG help.

it hsouldn't take too long before she becomes less reliant on it.
THEN I would do the bribery thing. ds1 sent his to a group of baby apatosauruses in return for a toy he wanted.

[Seuss]

That would probably safer - you don't want to start some big Santa's a big fat meany for stealing my dummy thing. My ds is definately getting used to the idea, I found telling him that he can't have his friend to sleep-over if he still has a dummy is helping - he is making an effort to try and go to sleep without it. He was doing really well but then was poorly and I caved!

[MollyCherry]

Well I suspect it might not as the cuddly toy was introduced last Christmas and has achieved precisely bugger all! Was hoping that now she's that bit older she might get her head round the idea a bit more.

Perhaps I should just try and get her off it in the next few weeks and give her the special pressie as a surprise with a note saying 'well done' if she does manage it?

[Seuss]

Ds2 5 and a bit is the same - we tend to sneak it away when he's asleep or 'lose' it and he is getting less reliant. What if you use the Santa idea and it doesn't work?