Pls talk to me about 18month age gaps

[deckchair]

I know it's probably be done a thousand times before, but i may be pregnant again and just need some advice / tips/ or preferably a chaos avoidance manual if poss to manage!!!
Would also have a DD who would be 3.9

[Spoo]

I have 15mnth age gap with mine. They are now 2 1/4 and 3 1/2. They can be a handful but I do not regret a moment. Life is very full and very fun. They are the best of pals. That said the first few months were hard for me. I found the most difficult bit was the mornings. I used to stay upsatirs until both me and kids were ready for the day - before we have breakfast. i still do that now if I'm on my own. The get milkl first thing which seems to stay the hunger. THe problem I had was getting everything downstairs. I used to load a basket up with all the things I needed to take downstairs before I came downstairs and then put the kids on my lap and bump down the stairs then go back up for the basket. This way I was not up and down the stairs all morning. Agree with a lot of other points. I think a double buggy is a must as DS1 had really bad temper tantrums esp. out and about and as a last resort I used to strap him into the buggy. Couldn't do that if I only had one for the baby.

Good luck with your pregnancy.

Spoo

[Mung]

I agree Goosey...my two still nap at the same time. How would I find time for MN otherwise?

[PinkTulips]

goosey. dd tried dropping her naps from 9 months and i managed to force the issue til ds was born by lying down with her for hours til she dropped off but once he was born that wasn't an option...... mine have napped at the same time all of 5/6 times since he was born!

[GooseyLoosey]

15 month age gap between mine. Best thing I did was to get them to have an afternoon nap at the same time. 90mins of peace! Dd's routine had to fit around ds, who I tried to disrupt as little as possible when she was born.

Also did bedtime routine together from fairly early on - even though dd would only actually stay in her cot for about 20 mins, it was long enough to get ds into bed without her there.

[MrsBick]

i'm really glad i came across this thread.

our 2nd is due in feb and it will be a 16mth (!) age gap.

i'm quite nervous as my DS is in a good routine and i don't want it to all go to pot when baby arrives.

[PinkTulips]

i confiscated the train set for a week and surprisingly since it's been back there's been no whacking each other on the head with the segmants of track

[PInkyminkyohnooo]

we had a brief period where there was much frustration over DD wrecking Ds's train layout, but she has learnt how to set the track up and play with it. They do sort out most of their squabbles between themselves, I hope this continues. It's so lovely to see them coming up with games together and chatting to each other. Not so good when they start having raspberry blowing/burping tournaments at the dinner table, though!

[PinkTulips]

[sweetkitty]

Mine don't at all they love the baby too much and won't leave her alone, never jealous of her at all, I think it will all change when she's messing up their dolls.

[PinkTulips]

sweetkitty... i had one man ask me if they were twins already and i expect that to happen more as they get older

i do the same as you of just treating them the same and doing the same things with both, we all pay the same games and read the same stories and dd has always included ds in all her games. ds was playing tea parties with dd well before he should have had any grasp of imaginative games for instance. and he learned to pull up so he could reach the toy kitchen and play cooking with her

i'm convinced he learned to walk, talk, feed himself and lots of other things alot earlier simply by trying to copy her.

good to know your older 2 took to the baby well, i'm afraid mine will either both revert to babyness for attention or else gang up and terrorise the new arrival!

[PInkyminkyohnooo]

Just over 16 monbths betweeen mine. They have a greatb time together. Due no.3 in Nov, my youngest will be just 2.

P&T a fab buy for me, lifesaver. Also a good quality wraparound sling.

Often ended up bfeeding whilst reading DS his story, but sonmetimes she would have a little sleep. Now DD gets into DS's bed and they have story together, it's very sweet!

You find yoursefl constantly planning your next couple of moves all day but you soon find little stragegies for manging.

Don't fall into trap of always getting dh or someone to entertain your elder child whilst you do the baby- make sure you hand the baby over sometimes and spend time with the toddler, that should abate any resentment.

Hard work at first but well worth it.

Congratulations!

[sweetkitty]

pink tulips - I have found the same thing with DD2 she's a lot smarter then DD1, she did things at 2 that DD1 didn't do until she started nursery. I think it's the way I treat them as well I do tend to treat them as twins sometimes, DD2 doesn't have a nap anymore so if I'm doing things with DD1 DD2 has to do them as well so stories are more advanced toys etc than if she were a PFB IYSWIM. DD2 has the same imagination as DD1 as they play together at their role play games she's a lot more advanced than a 2 1/2 yo.

I have the same age gap between 2 and 3 as you will have and thought the same but theres no jealously at all between DD2 and 3 in fact it's the opposite, DD1 and 2 fight to see who can get closer to DD3, who can kiss her the most and get her nappies etc

[PinkTulips]

jem1969.... have you found the february ante natal thread yet?

come on over and join in, the more the merrier!

[PinkTulips]

dd and ds are 18 months apart and tbh, the pregnancy was hard as dd didn't walk til close to 15 months but once ds was born it was lovely.

she ran right up to him when he came home from hospital and gave him a kiss and never had any jealousy at all until he was almost 2. even now i wouldn't call it jealousy, mors just sibling bickering.

they have a tendancy to fight rather physically and things can get a little loud but they adore each other. they insist on sharing a room, dd cried because ds couldn't go to playschool with her, they share friends even at this age (3.5 and 2 btw)

i've also found that ds seems very advanced for his age as he copies everything dd does. he has the verbal skills of at least a 3 year old... closer to 4 year old. he can play co-operatively for months already which most of the other kids his age at toddler group don't seem to be able to do.

and dd is always so proud of her little brother, she's very protective of him and they love each other to pieces.

there's going to be a 2.5 year gap betweeen ds and dc3 and tbh i'm panicing about that now as i loved the smaller gap!

[sweetkitty]

18 months between my first two DDs can't have been that bad as I have DD3 who is now 9 weeks (2 1/2 years between DD2 and 3).

Double buggy a must at 18 months my DD1 would have run off also good to have both of them secure in a buggy and under a raincover in winter, I had a side by side a huge tandem now I have a P&T and love it best double ever IMHO.

Bathing them together at first was scary but agree the plastic bath support a must.

I had special BFing books I read to DD1 as I fed DD2 and of course cbeebies.

First year is hard and exhausting but it gets easier once the second one can run after the first, they are incredibly close too but have their moments but are like twins most of the time.

[deckchair]

Thanks to everyone for their tips so far. Have booked to go to the midwife next week so it's made it a little more real (iykwim)
Good luck to everyone else in similar situation!

[happypiglet]

I have 18m bewteen DS1 and DS2 who were then 3.5 and 23m when DD came along. So similar gaps and I had all 3 at home until last week when DS1 started school!
I echo everything about organisation, slings and bath time.
I did bath all my three together when DD was quite little and couldn't have managed without my plastic bath support (c £8) which was a god send in and out of the bath- DD used to lie in it off the (usually) soaking wet floor whilst I dealt with the other 2. And she loved seeing more about what was going on than just lieing flat on the floor!
I would then have her in my arms whilst I read bed time story etc. (now she maraudes around pulling out toy boxes while I do bed time story!!)
Both times I made sure that the older child no longer needed milk directly before bed- that is I made sure they had it downstairs before bath/teeth/ story- this meant I could put them to bed first and then BF the baby alone in a dim room etc before putting them down (once the baby had got past the feeding all evening thing!!)
I did have a double buggy first time round. I think 18m is quite little for a buggy board but second time I used a sling.
To be honest the early days are OK, I am finding it tougher now that DD is 13m and into everything. She and the boys don't mix in terms of play things- she is at the demolishing phase, they are at the chockable bits of lego phase. But they are still very close and DS1 & 2 are an 'item' and totally inseparable- last week DS2 was pineing for DS1 whilst he was at school!! I think 18m is an ace age gap. Good luck

[Fennel]

I had a 17 m gap between the first two dds, then a 2.5 year gap. It was OK. Hard work for the first 6 months with 2 under 2, of course. but not impossible.

There are many advantages. Mine have played together properly, as peers, from when dd2 was 8m old. Now they are 8 and 7 and they still play for hours together. They do bicker and fight too, but they are easy to entertain in that they are so similar in age and interests. dd3 fits in quite well now too so I find having 3 in 4 years quite good, the 3 of them do just play and play for hours (on a good day).

[conkertree]

another grateful thread reader - due in april and ds will be 20/21 months by then so am noting down these tips.

my change bag started off so organised with ds, but is now a bit chaotic so i guess i will need to get back to being organised before april.

[wasabipeanut]

OOh this is very interesting. We are ttc number 2 now and at best (if I am preg now - 3 days to wait to test) we will have a 21 month gap.

Whilst my heart tells me I very much want another I had often wondered about the practicalities!

[jem1969]

Ooh- great thread. Was thinking about asking for bathtime tips etc with an 18th month gap and here is one already! Baby not due until Feb but already getting in a bit of a panic! DD is 14 month and not walking yet but hopefully she will be by Feb.
Planning on a Phil and Teds I think- 100's of them here in SW London!

[Clary]

I had a pal once with four children (2yrs between each) who used to take a bag with a one-size-fits-all pair of trousers (sound sbizarre but not impossible with a baggy look ) for the 3 youngest (all boys) - better maybe than having lots of spare clothes always?

[deckchair]

Jeanjeannie - that's a real gem of a tip with yr different coloured wash bags.
Genius.
I am pretty good and re-packing the bag when i get home but do need to check I have the right sizes of clothes in there. (An incident today where ds had dd's socks on brought it home I need to check more!)

[jeanjeannie]

Oh, some fab tips......**notes them down for self!

Just to say I think that Thankyouandgoodnight's suggestion of loading up the buggy and getting everything ready for the next day is a real life-saver.

I do my changing bag each eve. I bought 2 drawstring wash bags (different colours for each DD)and keep the nappies in there. I also bought two travel wipe cases which slot into the wash bag along with some nappy sacks. Then, if I'm out with DP or friends and someone looks after one of the girls - I only have to take the washbag to change them rather than the whole bag. Also means it's easy to grab each DDs changing stuff without rumaging around for nappies, wipes etc.

[deckchair]

Thank you to all for your advice so far. I have a Tomy baby carrier, but i think I will check out slings nearer the time.
As far as buggys are concerned, DH is not keen on a double, but I do walk alot with dd and ds, so ds will probably need the option of resting / sleeping if he is walking by then.
Quick qu for Mung - did you feel guilty that you didnt do as much with the 2nd as with 1st. I feel guilty that i dont do as much with ds as i did with dd and so know i will feel even worse with no3 who may never leave the house!!