Feel terrible - just smacked DD (3.5)

[MadamAnt]

I've spent the last two hours trying to get her (and DS) to go to bed, and finally lost it and smacked her leg. I've apologised and given her a cuddle, but I feel like shit. I've smacked her hand a few times before, and resolved not to do it again when it became apparent that it really didn't get us anywhere. I can't believe I let my anger take over this time. I feel like the most evil bully.

Fuck fuck fuck.

no one wants to smack their child. occasionally we can't cope either. in all other jobs you can walk away from awkward situations but not this one. its hard and there isn't any help. i wish we had a union.

I've done it as well, and felt terrble afterwards. She had been winding me up all day, and was a real horror while I was doing her teeth before bed. I snapped and slapped her on the leg.

No-one is perfect. You've apologised to her and showed her that you love her. Tomorrow is another day.

Thanks Osborne. My own (lovely) Mum was a bit prone to smacking, and I really really wanted to steer away from that bit of her parenting (she was/is generally great). I feel so sad that I can never take back that smack. DD will probably always remember it.

BTW - I re-read your last sentence at least twice as "i wish we had a unicorn"

Don't worry about it. She won't always remember it.

I don't think theres much wrong with it. My Mum used to smack me and I still really love her. Have threatened mine with it but never got around to it.

I always feel dreadful if I yell at them?

Thanks FFF. It's a comfort to hear about otherwise decent parents who have been temporarily crap.

I am hypervigilant against my own urge to smack but sometimes (like today) I really wonder if I will make it through her childhood without succumbing. Dd's 3. Need I say more? You're not going for sainthood - just climb back on that wagon with the rest of us sinners...

I have had a stomach bug for the last couple of days - had to drag myself into work for a bit yesterday and today, my day off, i have felt a little better but still pretty shit and my dds (2 and 3) have been scraping and pushing each other and generally been a nightmare. Only cos they haven't been able to go out though. We always go out most of the day on a Friday. Slapped my younger one on the leg this afternoon too and felt awful. It is difficult sometimes and i wish i hadn't done but i can't take it back.

I spanked my toddler's bum the other day - he's 2.5. Felt like the worst mum in the world, especially as he started wailing 'Mummy whacked me on the bottom!' at the top of his voice.

It happens to most of us at one time or another. Think of it as a good thing, in that it makes you more vigilant about losing your temper next time round.

Your DD will be fine, she won't remember it (my parents spanked me and I can only remember one occasion, sure there were lots )

None of us are perfect. If you made it up with her afterwards, then that's all you need to do.

Can sympathise completely. DS was going through a pinching phase (age 3) and one day I just snapped, turned round and slapped his arm. I cried, he cried and I felt lke the worst mum in the world. I never did it again, and the phase went on... Is it any worse than screaming at a child? Not sure but the impact is probably the same - stunned child, guilty parent.
We all cope differently, and need an escape sometimes.
Sorry, no solutions but sounds like you are human and not slipping into permanent monster mode.