DD 7 months - just hard work! Miserable all the time!

[chloemegjess]

Right, I know having a baby is never easy, but this is getting silly. Everybody that comes round omments on how much hard work my DD is and how they get tired just watching me etc etc.

I need to change something, or I am going to go mad! Please help me to do something right!

DD gets so bored, and wont sit and play with anything or anybody. She wants to be constantly doing something very exciting like being lifted in the air or jumping around. She can crawl, but very raily goes down on the floor for long without wingeing. She doesnt sleep well, which doesnt help and we are trying to address the sleep issues, but even if she has slept, she isn't "happy"

She will go from one extreme to the other. She is very very smily when she is seeing new people and new things, but as soon as we go back home, she is miserable. I work as a nanny at the moment, on an as and when needed basis, and now prefer working to being at home, as at least DD is happy as she has different toys, children to watch etc.

I am also pregnant again and extremly tired and have morning sickness all day, which is why I am so down about this at the moment. It is at the point where we spend hours walking outside, to the shops etc, because DD is quiet when walking and I need to get away from crying! She has tonnes of toys, but isn't interested.

She is happy when she has food in her hand to make a mess with, or when she is in the bath. Other than that, she wines all day when we are at home!

I can't have 2 babies like this! Please tell me where I have gone wrong her so I can try and change this before next DC comes along!

[Lazycow]

Ds was like this. Ds was tired a lot as he didn't sleep well. Even now at 3.8yrs old I can see how sharply his behaviour deteriorates if he is tired. though he is much better now.

Ds was a baby who got bored easily and was happier when out and about but at the same time very easily got overstimulated so would cry if he did anything for too long. He needed a good routine, plenty of sleep and a variety of things to look at, get involved with for short periods of time. - Not much to ask!!

I just muddled through really I wish I had better advice for you but it will get better, DS gradually got happier as he became more mobile and as he learned to talk.

Carrying him around the house in a sling while I did things did seem to work a bit as did getting out ofr the house for short (1-2 hr max) periods. If we stayed anywhere too long he would cry.

On the plus side it is entirely possible your second will be much easier and you will find the second a breeze in comparison.

[chloemegjess]

Yes DD cries if we are out for long at a time. If you dare take her food shoping or anything, you need to rush round and get it done before she screams the place down and I get all the dirt looks!

I dont even get a chance to have a shower or anything if DH isnt here, its awful, but I just dont. I only get to go on here as its by my sofa and can sort her out or BF at the same time.

[angel1976]

Hi chloemegjess,

Welcome to the grumpy babies club! Have you seen this thread? I am sure Meandmyjoe will be popping by in a minute with some good advice. My DS who is now 6 months was (and to a certain extent, still is) a high maintenance baby. He is much, much better now though we still have good and bad days. Like your DD, he needs to be entertained all the time, I run myself ragged keeping him entertained all day. He has been great the past few days (we've been grocery shopping, post office, mummy/baby group, swimming, park - you name it, we've done it!) but we had a whingey day today where nothing I do can stop him wihinging...

Does your DD have a routine? I agree with Lazycow - she needs to get enough sleep, my DS is really bad if he hasn't slept. You don't need a strict routine, just make sure she takes enough naps and they total about 3-4 hours altogether. The moment DS rubs his eyes, he is whisked up to bed! Even if he sleeps for 30 minutes, he is in a much better mood afterwards.

As for taking showers, I am afraid you just have to put her in her cot with a couple of toys and GO TAKE A SHOWER! I used to not take a shower till DH came home but I decided enough was enough. Now I just put DS in his cot with a bunch of his toys, tell him I am going to take a shower and go do it. Some days, he will entertain himself, some days I can hear him crying but you know what? Your DD crying for 10 minutes is not going to hurt her. You need a shower as it will make you feel remotely sane again. Also, since I started leaving DS a bit, he seems to self-settle a lot better. Most days now, I put him in his cot, tell him he is going to bed, walk away and some days, he will put himself to sleep! If he cries, I come back and comfort him but tell him he has to go to bed. If it gets really bad, I will rock him for like 5 minutes. He's a lot easier to settle now than he had been!

I do think it's in the nature of some babies to be like that. Sorry! I comfort myself with the thought that I think my DS is just frustrated being a baby. He loves being out, is extremely curious and charms the pants off everyone he meets and of course no one believes me when I tell them what a whinger he can be! GL!

Ax

[chloemegjess]

Hi Angel, Y es I had read that thread. I just need to do something before I get too frustrated with her. She is crying in her cot at the moment, I hate leaving her to cry but she is tired and grumpy. I have put her in her sleeping bag and will leave her for a few mins to see how things go.

DD is almost walking so hoping things may get easier when she is walking? She seems less frustrated now then before she was crawling?

[TheCrackFox]

Just wanted to say my DS1 was like this (he is now 7yrs and adorable). It will get better but some babies are harder work than others. DS2 was complete opposite - was such a contented baby and it was a massive relief.

[angel1976]

Hi chloemegjess,

How did it go? Did she settle in the end?

DS was a pleasure today, he was all smiles and laughter, his aunt (my SIL) hasn't seen him since Easter and I didn't imagine it - he was a right pain. She said he just cried all the time the last time she saw him. I guess it's difficult to say when things will improve... DS can still be a pain sometimes. I shouted at him this morning as I was trying to get him breakfast and he was whinging and whinging and finally swiped the spoon off and I ended up with porridge all over the floor. Argh, but one day, there will be more good days than bad and it will get better. You really are not the only one. Just walk away and leave her n her cot a bit. I do that sometimes when it's been a long day with my DS. I rather do that than stand there and shout at him.

Ax

[chloemegjess]

thecrackerfox - Thanks, hopefully DC2 will be better! My mum scared me by saying the 2nd ones are usually worse!

[Lilyloo]

Chloe sounds like my ds now 6 all i can say is it passes!
However dd1 (no2) was a dream of a baby slept through at 6 weeks very placid and one of them baby's every one else seems to have.
Hence i thought i had cracked it then along comes dd2 much like ds she now 7 mths and i know exactly how you feel we got her a jumperoo which does entertain her long enough for a shower. Luckily we have lot's of things going on with dc's so she is entertained a lot!
Interestingly ds still finds it harder to entertain himself now at 6 and his sleep isn't too great unlike dd1 3 who will play for hours and sleeps like a dream!
Some do some don't!

[angel1976]

The second one is USUALLY more laidback and chilled and I have seen that a LOT! There is hope for us yet...

[EyeballsintheSky]

Hi Chloe. Wish I had some advice to give but I'm more lurking for inspiration. DD also 7mo has always been very high maintenance. She does everything early so I am told so been crawling for about 2 months and pulling herself up on the furniture for about 4 weeks but she has no sense and always has to be pulled away from things which totally infuriates her. She's also been a restless sleeper since she started moving more so I'm just riding it out really as nothing works. I now just bung her in the cot with toys when I need to do anything. She's fed, watered and safe so unfortunately she just has to grizzle a bit. It's extremely hard so I know exactly how you feel

[nappyaddict]

Ds hates staying inside too. Perhaps she is just bored. I make an effort of taking him out at least once, maybe twice a day. We do toddler group 2 mornings and 1 afternoon. We also do a library session, tumble tots and a music group on the other mornings and also a swimming session on monday afternoon. If we have time to get out more than once a day then we take a trip to the park, the shops, soft play or we have friends over/go to a friends. it sounds a lot but both he and i are have more fun when we are out of the house and with other people so it's worth it.

[msdemeanor]

I hate to be unsympathetic, because I've had nightmare sleepers, but i simply cannot believe you are a nanny yet still believe that seven month old babies can play with toys and entertain themselves. THey can't. They need regular food and sleep and entertainment. YOu need to plan lots of activities out of the house. Work more! And never, ever expect a seven month old to enterain herself with toys.

[MrsSnorty]

Have you got one of those bouncer things that hang in a doorway? Use to give me nearly a whole twenty minutes (to wash up usually) when DS was like this - he loved it.

[Lilyloo]

mrssnorty i selling mine on ebay as i have junperoo but agree it gives you long enough for quick 'me' time

[MrsBadger]

nappyaddict is right - get out of the house whenever possible, even if it;s just to the park or to watch the binmen.

msdemeanour has a point too though

have you got a wnaky treasure basket?

[chloemegjess]

msdemeanor - Of course I know what a 7 month old should or shouldn't be doing and thanks for the really helpful reply. I never said he should sit an entertain herself all day, but she cries/winges all day, even when you are talking/playing with her. I am assuming your not tryingto say that all babies just cry all day if at home for more than 5 mins???? ffs

[chloemegjess]

EyeballsintheSky - My Dd has been early with things too. She seemed to be the first in our group to sit, crawl etc and is now walking round furniture

She is now almost 8 months old.

And we do go out lots, usually at least twice a day. But she wont sit in the buggy for more than maybe 20mins without crying and hates the car. So this limits us a bit really as to what we can do with her beng happy.

[Aitch]

what was the birth like? i know a particularly high needs child who went to a cranio-sacral for some therapy (apparently his neck was pretty injured but not in a way that a doc would recognise) and it helped.

all i know is that dd wouldn't do tummy time before we went for CS, one treatment, she slept for ages and then was perfectly happy on her tum from then on.

[chloemegjess]

It was a natural birth, but she was back to back and I was in full active labour for 39hours. And induced to speed things up. Not sure if this is what you mean? There was no forceps or anything like that though.

The writing has gone really small on my screen, only on mumsnet - is this just my PC? How do i get it bigger again? Can hardly read it!

[Aitch]

don't know abut the screen, soz. have you thought of taking her for a CS appointment? it'll cost you about forty quid but might be worth investigating.

[Aitch]

i remember the cs woman saying to me that she'd helped a lot of high needs babies, if that's any use. and btw... back to back. ouch.

[Dropdeadfred]

Look at the bottom right og your MN window, there should be a magnfying glass there...clck on thr plus sign in it

[chloemegjess]

Thank you! Much better!! I can see without straining my eyes! I now have it set to bigger than I originally had it, but it is definatly easier!

Learn something new everyday!

[Dropdeadfred]

Glad to help! Sorry I don't have such a quick fix for your situation with dd...
Just keep chanting 'this is just a phase' ..

[chloemegjess]

msdemeanor - People have replied on here with ideas on what keeps their babies "ammused" for a while while they have a shower or whatever. Are they "stupid" for thinking they can let their DC play like this for 10mins, as that seems to be what you are implying to me!

And yes, i have a door bouncer, and a learn and grove, which is similar to the jumperoo and a hop and pop (similar idea but smaller) and a walker, and a playpen, and hundred of toys, the list could go on. She wont play with them at home, but she will play with anything while I am nannying, as does the other baby I Nanny for, so its certainly possible. I also know a lot of babies the same age as her from my postnatal group etc and none of them cry any where near as much or need any where near as much attention as my DD.