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Only children

8 replies

FattipuffsandThinnifers · 21/08/2008 12:19

Sorry if this has already been covered, I expect it has. But I'd love opinions on the pros and cons of being an only child. DS is nearly 16 months. I'd love another child, but DP pretty certain he doesn't. I always wanted more than one DC so might have to reconcile myself (reluctantly!) to have an only.

My concerns are that a) DS would benefit from company in childhood and adulthood, b) there would be a lot of pressure and focus on DS, both in a good way (ie lots of attention) but in a bad way too (pressure to fulfil our expectations). I feel, perhaps wrongly, that this might be more the case with a boy.

I'm one of 3, so only know what it's like having siblings. Would be v interested in other views.

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FattipuffsandThinnifers · 21/08/2008 15:30

Oh and I spelt it wrong!

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FattipuffsandThinnifers · 21/08/2008 15:28

This is what wikipedia says.

Didn't know it was French!

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FattipuffsandThinnifers · 21/08/2008 15:26

Yes, not really a rational thing - just looking for positive things I can tell myself if we don't have another.

Elffriend, thanks! I haven't read it since I was a child either, but loved it then. Might have to seek it out.

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Elffriend · 21/08/2008 14:12

I think there are loads of pros and cons but I'm not sure those are going to help you. Ultimately, there is nothing rational about wanting a child - it's an emotional thing and if you want another one, that will not be budged by rational pros and cons. Sounds like it needs to be a conversation with your DP about feelings rather than thoughts. Good luck.

By the way, love your name. I absolutely LOVED that book when I was little but have never come across it since!

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Cammelia · 21/08/2008 12:47

Just adding to what I posted on the other thread, my sister tells me that 1 is the perfect number as all of the child's needs are met by the 2 parents whereas siblings have to share/compete for their needs(wants?) to be met.

I have had 2 onlies (literally a generation apart, they have never lived together) and my sister has had 3 children (twins and another)

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FattipuffsandThinnifers · 21/08/2008 12:32

Reading through it now. So far it hasn't done a huge amount to change my feelings, though interesting to see points about not having to mediate in sibling arguments etc. Seems that it would make for a calmer house but I wouldn't mind that. Yes, big discussion in order... deep breath.

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Shoegazer · 21/08/2008 12:24

We have a 2.2 DD who is an only and will always be. If you look through the thread I just posted it will give you lots of people's experiences. I think that you have to have a big discussion with your DP because you sound like you would be settling for one DC and it needs to be a decision you are both happy with. I think you need to find out what your DP's concerns are.