Does anyone out there feel self-conscious about their homes?

[VFeist]

I have one ds nearly four and he needs to have more friends round to play but I do feel that our place isn't as glorious as some of his friends' places. Am I alone with this paranoia? I have some friends who seem to be super mums with such lovely places and I just feel that ours isn't as nice. I really let it get to me enough to hesitate before I ask people back. I'm very quick to arrange outings and meetings at other places, parks, soft play etc. I just feel so self-conscious it's ridiculous. Very close friends say the place is absolutely fine but I secretly don't believe them! Would love to know if there is anyone else who feels the same about their home.

[DoesntChristmasDragOn]

Mine is a tip.

[codswallop]

pph where are yooooooooooooooo

[DoesntChristmasDragOn]

Lovely house but full of "stuff"

[DoesntChristmasDragOn]

Have seen PPH on this thread today.

[codswallop]

nope not me

[SantaFio2]

i bet pph is in bar ' bay ' doss

[tillykins]

Mine's quite little and a bit shabby, but its clean (ish) and tidy (occasionally)
But I do sometimes wonder if some of my more affluent friends / colleagues / aquaintances think we live in a shoebox, but then I just think stuff it. You live in what you can afford don't you, and I would rather play with my little boy than try and scrub the residual sick stain from the carpet.

[hatterselfamerrymerrychristmas]

a lovely post from mistletoe. I feel self-conscious coz my house is a bit bigger than a lot of dds' friends and I think people will assume I am a horrible snob and not like me. I know this is stupid and have learnt to curb it and invite people round anyway. (in fact, NOT inviting people round would be more likely to result in people thinking I am a snob, and I know I have to accept this) Mistletoe is absolutely right. You can't judge people by the size of their house (big, small, shabby, tidy) And most of us here wouldn't want to be friends with someone who does. Life is too short to worry about this stuff

[VFeist]

Thanks again particularly Jennisaurus, leglepartridge, mistletoe, tillykins and pabla and for everyone else's good advice. Of course I shouldn't care so much, it's highly irrational. I've always been excruciatingly self-conscious of my home and home-making and admire all those who are not, who know who they are and are confident enough to have people take them or leave them. I just cannot feel like that by an act of will unlike my dh who grew up in a very very happy home in contrast to my upbringing which was pretty miserable! But I am feeling much better today and motivated to invite more people over soon.

[JennisaurusUnderTheMistletoe]

VF I feel the same as you!

Honestly I feel like my house gives such a bad impression of me. It just always feels scruffy, and I get frustrated with that! I want it to be nicer for me and DD/DH. I adore the feeling our home has of course its warm and cozy. But purely materially I am ashamed. I just want it to be warm and cozy in a nice area with a decent bathroom!

DH's family coming down tomorrow so I am nervous, even though I know they don't care one bit!

[JennisaurusUnderTheMistletoe]

Oh god I am shallow aren't i?

[Berchta]

no your not shallow.

i dont like kids so thats my excuse - but i did say the other day to my kids " ourhouse is nearly nice enough to have people round"

" really can i have a sleepover with 3 trillion kids" well slight eggsageration
" no" says i " but maybe they can come for a jam butty one day!"

the mud all over the floor today sh was moaning about
"its the rustic looks" sAYS i
" i am sick of fking mopping says dh"
"iknow" says i whilst silently beaming that dh does all the mopping AND notices mud on the floor

[ssd]

VFeist, I'd rather have your description of lunch than champagne and poached pears anyday .
I like down to earth people and not people who try to impress me....I'd be more impressed if she got down on the floor and played with her kids than give me champagne...

[RudolftheredPOSEYreindeer]

I live in a flat that is crammed full of stuff and usually quite messy but I like to think it has character. It is open and welcoming to anyone who wants to come in (well within reason!) A lot of my friends, and dd's school friends live in glorious big houses round here and much as I think how nice it would be to have the space I don't waste my time longing for something that'll never be. If someone was snobby about my home then I wouldn't want to be around them anyway.

A friend of mine has a dd who's friend lived in a huge house with playroom etc. The girl came round to their very small flat and looked around and said "where's the playroom?" My friend's dd looked crestfallen, that her friend might not think much of her if they didn't have a playroom. But my friend quickly answered "We don't have a playroom. In our house you can play in every room." The friend was duly impressed.

I am very thick skinned in all matters material.