Advice - Mum English, Dad German.

[Bekkie32]

ok folks.. I live in Germany so majority language is of course German. My baby was born Aug 13th 2007, she is now 6 months. i am at home until Jan 2009, which is when I go back to work. The baby is due to go to Kindergarten in December this year, by then she will be 16 months. We decided that I should always speak English and the Dad should always speak German. This is what we are doing.

However, when we read goodnight stories she seems not to like German. She is happy when I read her a story in English, but not in German. She seems to prefer English, as when the Dad reads a German story she hates it too.

She does have a few German contacts - neighbours, the motherinlaw, but it is not daily contact by any means. Obviously later in the summer when it is nice, she will see more people. I am also fairly tied to the house at the moment as she is a difficult eater and I am occupied with meals. My question is will she pick up German in the Kindergarten, will it be too late for her to grasp german? Is our tactic okay, me speaking English and husband german? It seems she is just picking up mainly English at the moment, of course as she is with me. What do you think?

[Othersideofthechannel]

You live in Germany so she will have no problems picking up German.
I'm in France but French DH speaks English at home. DD didn't really start speaking or even hearing a lot of French until a year ago when I started back at work part time and she went to the childminder (she was 2.2).

She is now bilingual.

[hairtwiddler]

We live in the UK. My OH is Dutch and speaks only Dutch to our daughter (2yrs). This is really the only Dutch she is exposed to along with a few DVDs and when grandparents visit. At present she has equal understanding of both languages but definitely speaks much more English.

We have Dutch friends in the UK who speak only Dutch in the home. The children are all bilingual from exposure to nursery/school etc.

I think as you live in Germany your daughter will have enough exposure to the language before she reaches the critical period (age when second language learning becomes more difficult - I think it's about 10-12yrs). My advice would be to do whatever feels most comfortable at home.

Hope this helps. Where are you in Germany?

[Bekkie32]

berlin area

[Bekkie32]

Thanks for these infos - happy to hear more stories from others. Just funny that now at 6 months she can differentiate between the two languages, in the sense atleast of which she prefers to hear, all of this started about two to three weeks ago

She will be 16 months when she attends Kindergarten. I guess it will soon turn later - she will speak more german than english.

[berolina]

Hello. I am in Berlin (whereabouts are you? We are in Steglitz) and we have the same set-up as you. I always speak English to our boys - 2.9yo and 5mo - and dh speaks German. This is known as the OPOL approach - one parent, one language. ds1's English and German have both been way ahead and the other language disfavoured at various points - this is normal - but we have persisted with a very strict OPOL approach and ds1 is fully and functionally bilingual. He started kiga last month.

[3Ddonut]

How lucky she is!!! I'm very I'd love for my kids to be able to understand 2 languages well.

The thing that strikes me about your post is perhaps that it's not due to the language differences so much as the difference between Mammy and Daddy, my kids definitley prefer a story from me than from Daddy!!! Just a thought

[ConfusedMover]

Don't change what you are doing i.e. you speak English & DH speaks German. From my experience with friends it will work (those who have deviated from this formula have had problems).
By way of background our home language (in Austria) is English (DH & I both British) & DS (5.5) has picked up all his German from Tagesmutter & Kindergarten. He has clear boundaries for speaking English/German.

[Bekkie32]

well it was odd ... it was actually tonight that I decided to try to read a story for the first time in German. She was sitting on my knee and just started crying. I thought "This odd, why on earth is she crying?". I quickly finished reading the short german story, which she grizzled all the way through and switched to an english book. The grizzling then stopped??!

I thought well maybe it is because she is not used to hearing me speaking german, but when the daddy reads in german she always cries. Which is why I put it possibly down to the language rather than the person.

[Bekkie32]

aaah cool Confusedmover - then best not for me to start stories in German. Leave that entirely to my husband. otherwise she will start to won der what is going on.. yupp

[Bekkie32]

Fürstenwalde Spree - just outside Berlin.

[Bekkie32]

I have heard OPOL works well.. thanks! I actually work in Berlin, commute on the train!

[berolina]

Is it nice? dh is from Brandenburg. Some lovely countryside.

We are very (possiblyextremely) consistent. My German is as good as native and ds1 knows it - because dh and I speak German to each other - but whenever ds1 brings me one of his English books I say 'no, that's German, I don't read German bookd, get me an English one'. He is extremely precise in speaking English to me and German to dh, to the xtent that he'll switch over mid-sentence

[ScaryHairy]

We are in the same boat, except that we live in England. I understand that children generally seem to prefer the language their mother speaks, so what you describe sounds normal for a 6 month old.

With us, my DH is away a lot and so DD only really hears German on the weekend. Although she has a smaller vocabulary in German, she now (at 19mo) speaks English to me and tries German with her Dad and she keeps the two languages separate, which is great.

In your case, because you are in Germany I would expect it to be easier for your daughter to pick up German because of the immersion. Just be consistent about who speaks which language and she will sort it out for herself.

[berolina]

doh, whenever ds1 brings me one of his German books I say... etc.

[Bekkie32]

yep brandenburg .. near the spa resort Bad Saarow (and Scharmützel see) and in the direction Frankfurt Oder. My German is also good, not 100% fluent yet, but it is nearing that way. Glad that we have started off on the right foot. What happens with teaching things like the time? I guess I do it in English then my husband also does it in German?

[Bekkie32]

scaryhairy - snap! My husband is quite often away so does not get chance to hear his German that much..

[SSSandy2]

I think being read to in English is the norm so that is what constitutes part of her safe cosy betime routine and being read to in a different language doesn't fit in the routine, so she objects to it because she finds it unsettling.

She might like being read to in German at a different time of the day.

She will pick up German no problem at all at kindergarten over a couple of years.

[berolina]

yep, you just stick to your own languages.

Scharmützelsee always makes me smile, as Scharmützel is such a funny word... You'll have a fab time out there come fruit picking season.

[Bekkie32]

aaahhh yep SSandy2.... very true, never thought of that! Yeah, get hubbie to read her something in the morning at the weekends. Will try that instead.

[Bekkie32]

yep, will stick to our own languages..already been in Germany since 2000 and Scharmützel See is beautiful. germany is just terrible for all the cakes..and chocolate which I love

[ScaryHairy]

SSSandy's post has reminded me that some months ago my daughter would behave as though she was quite frustrated when her Dad read to her. I think that it was because she found German harder work - especially before bed when she was tired. It has got better as she has got older.

[Bekkie32]

ok off to do a bottle feed... will be back tomorrow..

[berolina]

oh sorry, I thought you might be a recent arrival...

[Bekkie32]

No not a recent arrival - in germany a good 7 years. It just took as that long with TTC (we had problems along the way ).

Another question, what about when I go to the local supermarket with my daughter? Obviously I would speak german to the cashier, but to my daughter I still speak English? Even in public places? How did you all handle that? Just would feel strange speaking english - of course we would get some looks..

[berolina]

I always speak English to dses, wherever we are, and whoever else I am speaking German to at the time. I feel it is very important, because - especially because dh and I speak German to each other - English is really the minority language in dses' life. I do get looks, and (which I find intensely irritating) often people can't resist trying out a bit of English on me - to which I always respond with perfect German and a wide smile But you get used to it.