Do all children tell fibs ?

[TillyScoutsmum]

4 year old dsd constantly tells fibs.

Sometimes they are pretty harmless and quite amusing (like the lady with the pink hair who crept into the room and ate all the crisps) and other times they are slightly more concerning.

Yesterday, she came home from nursery with a plaster on her arm. I asked how she had done it and she told me that one of the boys at nursery had done it. This particular boy is quite often apparently responsible for various mishaps. She did say it was accidental but we were a bit concerned that they are allowed to use scissors capable of drawing blood and aren't closely supervised enough to prevent accidents.

Later, dp asked how she'd done and she said she didn't know and thought she had caught it on the corner of a table. When questioned about the different stories, she admitted she didn't know how she did it.

We just mentioned it in nursery today (not making a big thing of it, it was only a tiny cut etc.) and they weren't sure how it was done, but the boy she initially mentioned wasn't even at nursery yesterday and they weren't doing any cutting.

This is just an example of one lie. She seems to constantly tell them. Is this just an extension of a 4 year old's "imaginative play" ? Should we be doing anything to stop it or will she just grow out of it and in the meantime, we take a lot of what she says with a pinch of salt ?

[ProfessorGrammaticus]

I think truth is important and you have to gently get her to understand that while she is young. Not all children do it, no - some are absolutley truthful at all times and just not capable of lying at all, others do a little, some do a lot

[chopster]

I think lots of children do, and sometimes it is an attention thing. Maybe you could read some books with her about the importance of telling the truth? Such as the boy who cried wolf.

[Nemoandthefishes]

DS is 4.4yrs and at the telling fibs stage. He is a bit of a nightmare at the minute with it so tend to ignore a lot of it unless it is very serious.

[witchandchips]

think myth, metephor, role playing and outright lies are a bit confused in their minds pre-school and tbh we encourage it a bit with stories of father christmas and the tickle monster.

[witchandchips]

btw ds told me that dp took him to the pub after school last night. "Daddy had 3 beers mummy and i had orange juice"

[TillyScoutsmum]

witch - yes - we had that one ! She told her mum that we took her to the pub all day and let her drink wine .. We do go for lunch sometimes with her but hadn't even been on this occasion and we have never let her try alcohol (and don't generally drink it ourselves if we're with out for lunch with the kids)

We have tried to talk to her about it (its not nice, you might get people into trouble etc.) Will try reading the boy who cried wolf and similar (one about a finger in a dyke iirc )

[witchandchips]

another route might be to make it clear to her that you know it is a story and play along. This teaches her that is okay to make up stories and be imaginative but not if you are trying to mislead someone or get them into trouble.

[cory]

My dh nearly got his infants school into trouble by telling his mum that they were learning wrestling She came storming into school to ask what they meant by it...and of course they were doing no such thing. She still feels very sheepish about it 45 years later.

My nephew was taken to the doctor's with a supposed earache, and, when the doctor failed to find anything, quite happily told his dad that he'd made it up.

I think some kids just develop more slowly when it comes to learning to keep fact and fiction apart. (others never had much imagination in the first place). I wouldn't worry unless it is still apparent by age 6 or 7.

Of course, truth is important, ProfessorGrammaticus. So is walking. Doesn't mean they're all going to get there at the same time. Some need more help towards it than others.

[Kathrynrt]

My ds is 3 and has often told fibs. Worst ones were that either me or dh had been hitting him, which we most definitly were not .

My cm assures me it's normal behaviour but you must put them right and explain you mustn't tell fibs.

[stinkycat]

yes all children tell fibs ime

[tigerlily1980]

I think that most, if not all, children tell fibs and that it is all part of being a child and having an imagination.

I have twins aged 5 and both lie...some of it is really imaginative stuff, but other fibs are pretty pointless and some are purely to get other children into trouble!

My dh and I have laid boundaries and said that it isn't good to tell fibs, but at the moment it isn't any cause for concern and part of just growing up.

[brimfull]

ime they all talk a load of old bollocks

[Bouncingturtle]

My niece (4.8) and my dss (6.11) both tell fibs.
Perhaps it is a phase most kids go through. Both of them will do something they are not supposed to in front of mum and/or dad and then flatly deny doing it even though parent has told them they have seen them do it!