I don't have 2, but I'm highly certain that I should stick to 1. I have many reasons, but if I had another it wouldn't be to give my son a sibling. Some siblings really don't get on with each other. The older one can resent you having another child. It really depends on your reasons for either having another or for not.

Following as i'd also like to know. Mine is 6 so i need to decide on a second soon!

What are your reasons for not going for a second, or what's stopping you?

In a similar boat really, waiting to hear more opinions from others.

I only have on DD atm who is 13 months but I definitely want another. I think my reasons are I grew up as a sort-of only child as my sister is 9 years older than me, wasn’t interested in me in the slightest and we don’t come from a close-knit family. I always knew what I was missing because I had the sibling but not the relationship so from a young age I vowed to have 3 kids close together- that is until I had one and realised how bloody expensive they are so have settled on having two. DH is 1 of 4 and has a very close knit family so I want to follow his family setup rather than mine. I also would love to redo the newborn stage and first 6 months again with the experience and knowledge I have now and be able to actually enjoy it rather than panicking about everything and second guessing myself all the time.

I always wanted a big family. I'm one of four. I had my daughter when I was 38. I'm now 42 and she's 3.5. It's taken me a while but I'm now selling all her baby stuff and very much in the "one and done" camp.

I hated the baby phase, don't much enjoy a lot of parenting now and have struggled to get back to work at the same capacity as before (I run my own business). So why would I have another? Guilt, mainly. Everyone else has more than one, why can't I? Won't she be lonely?

Actually I think I can give my daughter a much better life by NOT "giving her a sibling" as I don't think I'd be very good at it. I'm already a much shoutier, stressed mum than I want to be.

Do what's right for you now that you know what parenting involves. You don't need to have two just because that's what you imagined before.

I have two DC (2.5 and 6 months) I had all the same concerns as OP

We conceived DD1 via IVF after trying everything for four long years to get pregnant. He was my absolute world. He was born at start of covid so we had a rocky start but it's all good. My DH was ready for baby 2 before me. I wasn't sure I could go through all the ivf again and what it did to me. I had a traumatic delivery and horrendous recovery due to awful after care thanks to covid. All of the previous posters worries. Could I love another as much as I lived my DS. Could we afford another? How would I split my time. Would I still get quality time etc etc.

We decided to try for 6 months naturally to see what would happen then book into
Clinic to start cycle for a sibling. We had sex once that first month and I fell pregnant worn DS2!! I was so so shocked! It took a long while to get my head around. I was r to totally convinced I had having a baby until walking into theater to deliver him. I still felt very nervous. He was born via ELCS and it was so calm and such a positive experience. Very 'healing' the minute he was delivered he cried and then came to my chest and I was like 'oh there you are. Of course' everything just clicked. I know that's cliched but it's true. I can't imagine life without him THEY both are now my whole world. Don't get me wrong it's mental and hard lots of the times but Jesus the love is something else and to see my DS1 with his brother is simply amazing. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I have 2, I wasn't sure of having the second because I'd had some pretty awful pregnancy losses and fertility issues. They are now 12 and 8. Second baby just slotted in and I couldn't imagine life without her. The kids get on great.

I'm sure if I'd not had her I'd be posting saying it's so much better so I don't think there's a right or wrong here. However, I just wanted to say that my choice was a fantastic one 😊

How old is your child OP?

I think MN is obsessed with anything over 18months being a big age gap- I think anything under 4 years is still close enough to not feel like such a transition back.
I guess I always envisaged 2 kids but didn’t really think about it until my eldest was over 2 and then just after 3yrs old her sister came.
I would ease up on yourself, toddlers are such hard work it’s hard to imagine having time for another.

We were uncertain but having a second has been fantastic. Watching them grow and interact and experience holidays, days out etc together has been the very best part of parenting.

I had my first son was I was 18 and I didn't think I wanted anymore. 8 years later I had my second son who is now 3, my third who is now 2 and then my fourth who is 1 next month (he was extremely prem).

I won't lie, it is bloody hard work, but I do have four and three that are all close together and still young. My 2 and 3 year old barely play nicely together and just fight over anything. But I think when they get a bit older it's going to be nice that they are close in age and fingers crossed will be close brothers.

My experience is slightly different. I had my first DD, easy pregnancy, pretty easy baby and toddler. Like you say I adore her! But I was 100% I wanted another. I loved motherhood more than I thought I would. Anyway after a few struggles to conceive a 2nd we had out DS. 5 yr ago gap, not by choice. He was prem and much more challenging baby/ toddler/ now child. I love him to bits, but the family dynamics have changed, as I guess you would expect when you bring anyone new into the fold, but they have changed more than I would have thought they would!

I won't say I regret having my 2nd as that would be saying I wish he wasn't here, which i don't feel at all. But some days I do think how much easier life would be if we had one and done. I am an only child myself. My reasons for wanting a 2nd had nothing to do with that though, like I said before it was to do with how much I loved been a mum. I have to say I like been a mum less now as he's more challenging! I certainly had, and still have less time for my DD. Now I look at my 2 who fight a lot and how much more work it is, I feel quite happy I never had any siblings to deal with!!

My biggest worry is I can’t imagine loving another as much as I do dc1. But everyone says you do.

cheesy but true. I have 3 and am utterly obsessed with them all.

You can have a totally rich and fulfilled life with 1. It’s such a hard decision because both outcomes are good. And every situation is different so no one can decide for you.