Too full of energy, please help

[ChocFudgeCake]

Of course I do not speak of myself but of DS.

DS is 3 and a half and he plays VERY roughly. Today the nursery teacher said he spent all day pushing children and was not even aware that they didn't like it (second time I get this news). At that point a girl came with his father and said something to him, on his turn he asked something to the teacher to which she answered "Yes x (ds) pushed her". So I apologized to both dad and daughter.

I feel terrible, I do not excuse him, he can be quite agressive. On top he is very strong and tall, he looks like a 5 year old.
Las time I ask the teacher for advice, she said to point out to him children's reactions every time so he gets some awareness of other people's feelings. I've tried that with no results so far.

At home he is the same with his 2 year old brother. They do love each other, but DS1 does not want to know about being gentle, sometimes he is so full of energy that he looks like is going to explode. He jumps from everywhere and physically I cannot restrain him.

A few people have told me that some exercise could help him to realease all his energy, blah blah.

What do you think? Anything else to help calm him down?
PS He does not have fizzy drinks!

[ChocFudgeCake]

I know you are right, Amethyst. DH is always saying that he'd love to move to the countryside for the kids (not my cup of tea), so they can enjoy nature and exercise more, etc.
I find it difficult to take them to the park when it is rainy and cold, so it is partly my fault...

[ChocFudgeCake]

Thanks Candypandy. I ask DS everyday "who did you play with?" and he answers "Nobody" and doesn't seem bothered at all. Maybe he is a billy-no-mates as you said or he just doesn't know many names yet... Probably the first. To be honest I don't know if I AM ready for playdates. That is scary! I already have 2 loud ones at home. But if it worked for you I shall consider it .

His classmates look quite civil. He is the one that makes his way out pushing and comes to me with a big smile unaware that he upset the others. I am angry but also feel sorry for him.

I will ask tomorrow if he has friends.

[Amethyst86]

My DS not at school yet but I take him out to the Park to run around for a good hour every day because if I don t then he is an absolute nightmare - tantrums, rough play with his little sister, throwing toys around etc. Suppose it is the same as for us - we feel better if we have done some exercise don t we? Could you get him out running about more. I take DS to parks with little assault courses and on his micro scooter wherever we go rather than always in the car. He is always so much happier when we get home. There is a clear difference between pre exercise DS and no exercise DS and it aint pretty .

[candypandy]

anyway where was I
yes.. my son aged four starting school was always pushing children and barging into them.. distressing for all, as obviously all the other children were new and it was upsetting their start to school too. I spoke to the teacher and she said (more tactfully than this) it was because he was a bit of a billy-no-mates and he didn't know how to make friends in the unsupervised environment of the playground. Very insightful of her. So as well as the usual remonitions we took positive measures to deal with it, such as playdates, and they helped, but really it was only time and gradually making real friends that helped. But I must say he still roughhouses now but it is much more controlled (like puppies ..biting without hurting) IYSWIM. I don't know if the teacher you asked was a young one, but I sometimes feel older teachers and particularly teaching assistants who have quite frankly seen it all can give much more perceptive advice. Maybe you could ask one? Good luck. PS I don't want to infer your son is a friend free zone, I'm sure he's much more popular than mine was!

[candypandy]

obviously can't possibly have been for me but one of my children

anyway .. i think children are too full of energy these days because they can't go out and play like we used too.. or could it be an insecurity problem.. attention seeking.. so positive attention will work? sorry for useless suggestions -- obviously they don't work with mine as i have to go and deal with a rough house problem RIGHT NOW

[candypandy]

no idea but sympathy
my two boys are extremely rambunctious. I'm sure some of his energy is normal? they roughhouse all the time oops phone ringing

[ChocFudgeCake]

Bump since I am in distress