I agree. It depends on the relationship as a whole. Try to look outwith these comments. How is she otherwise?
What you’ve said SquigeBum strikes a chord though. My MIL would make comments such as ‘my girl’ etc whilst never, ever giving any comments that could be seen as positive towards me. For example, if I were exhausted, on the brink of tears, and complained we’d had a tough night, she’d say ‘I don’t believe it! My girl would never do that.’ Fucking unhelpful! At the time, it almost felt like she was accusing me of lying.
Out of desperation, sometimes I’d take my daughter for a walk, as that seemed to help calm her down or get her to sleep. When we returned home my MIL would declare ‘Her hands are cold! Oh my...my little darling. She’s freezing!’ And make a big show of wrapping her up.
Looking back, I wish I’d called her out on it. Fucking ridiculous behaviour! This deep concern for them only lasted while they were babies. She wasn’t interested in them once they were old enough to have their own opinion. Mothers of newborns need reassurance, not petty point scoring. Sometimes it’s hard to see what’s what though, especially with hormones raging.
I always go out of my way to reassure a new mum that I’m there for HER and support HER in any way I can. When my sister had a baby I was desperate to hold him, but he cried all the time and just wanted his mum, so I backed off even though I just want to squish him!