Constant breast feeding

[Betsyboo87]

DS is a week old today. He took 36hrs to first latch but he’s fed constantly since. In the past 24hrs he’s only been off the breast for 3 hrs. I’m exhausted. I never planned on full time bf but the hospital and post partum midwife really pushed it.

I know he is getting enough as he’s filling plenty of nappies and yesterday he was back at his birth weight. I just feel he is only getting enough by feeding all the time which isn’t sustainable.

I had a complicated birth with a vacuum and then manual removal of retained placenta. I lost 1.2ltrs blood. I’m so aware that I need my body to recover too and I’m unable to do that. I desperately want to be able to provide for DS.

I wondered if anyone has had a similar experience? I think we’re going to give him a bottle shortly for a break but I’m worried that will mess up his latch.

DH is being fab but there is only so much he can do. He’s barely held DS because he just screams when he isn’t being fed.

[Gracie90]

My ds who is 5 months now did this for the first 12 weeks or so, it was exhausting. I read a lot about cluster feeding online and put it down to "normal." Looking back though, I don't think he was constantly feeding, I think a lot was comfort. He also had bad reflux and I think a lot of the sucking was to ease those symptoms. Whatever it was however, it passed with age. It was tough and I think he was quite extreme but it gets much easier. They become much more interested in the world and less so in boobs. I agree with the advice re: tongue tie assessment and seeing a lactation consultant, I wish I had done that. But hey, it ended and he is still exclusively breastfed now. All the best to you, it's not easy but you'll get there!

[Betsyboo87]

After my melt down yesterday we actually had a much better night with a couple of solid 2hr breaks. I feel so much better mentally. I struggle with my appetite when I’m stressed or tired which doesn’t help the situation. I woke up super hungry this morning so that’s a good sign too.

I’ll still contact the breast feeding specialist for advice. I could do with the reassurance if nothing else.

Thanks again everyone for taking the time to respond!

[BertieBotts]

It's quite normal not to get much from a pump, especially the first time you use it. You're only ever getting the excess with a pump - having loads of excess you can pump off is not necessarily a good thing since it may indicate oversupply and/or a baby who isn't able to empty the breasts effectively. OTOH you can "train" them to produce extra by pumping regularly which is what some people do.

I agree to look at safe co-sleeping and feeding lying down guidance. It can be quite normal for them to panic at the idea of being put down at this age as they have been used to hearing your heartbeat etc in the womb. But very draining!

[BendingSpoons]

That sounds intense. Cluster feeding is normal but shouldn't be all day every day. It is usually for part of the day or all hours for a few days to build supply. That's great you have an appointment.

I used to lie down to feed and fall asleep myself. With DC1 I got DH to keep an eye on us as I was so tired I didn't feel safe. With DC2 I followed safe co-sleeping guidance. It helped to snooze during cluster feeds and sometimes I could unlatch them and over to the other side of the bed to sleep.

[Chew2]

Hi, i had similar issues, long tramatic birth, cluster feeding etc but my LO wasn't gaining as much weight so I had additional support from Midwives, they advised some formula feeding to start with, however they were suggesting only for a few days, I have continued to combi feed as I wasn't comfortable with just bf when I knew she wasn't thriving as much as she should be. She has gained a good amount of weight and I will continue to combi feed as it works well for my LO and for me. I could recover better, my DH can help with feeding and give my boobs a rest. I would also advise against a dummy as everywhere suggests it confuses baby when you bf. We have managed without one for 7 weeks and she is a very content baby.

[Russell19]

Try and get a sling and research the 4th trimester. Babies are not programmed to be put down alone to sleep at such a young age. Formula feeding won't help you with this, he just wants to be close to you so let him.

[Betsyboo87]

Thanks all for more words of encouragement and advice. I have been given a recommendation of a breast feeding consultant so I’ll give her a call on Monday. It sounds like the tongue tie angle is definitely worth investigating.

@Russell19 yes sorry he does fall asleep on the breast but as soon as I put him down he wakes and wants bf straightaway. I can keep him in my arms some of the time but l need him to go down to sleep.

[PlanDeRaccordement]

I think you are doing amazing. To have baby at birthweight in one week is fantastic because average is birthweight at two weeks.
I don’t want to repeat other posters, so will just add that the breastfeeding is also helping your body recover too. The oxytocin from breastfeeding contracts your uterus back to pre pregnancy size and helps naturally stop the post partum bleeding which you will have a lot of due to the manual placenta procedure. So every bit of breastfeeding is helping you internally heal a bit more.
I would not worry about pumping now. Focus on establishing your supply and healing. Have DH wait on you hand andfoot. Your job is feed baby and heal. His job is nappy’s and feeding and caring for YOU.

[Russell19]

So you said he was feeding for 21 hours..... did he fall asleep while feeding? If so did you take him off the breast? Do you know he is crying for a feed or could it be a colic/pain issue?

The don't check properly for tongue tie post natally, I was told my baby didn't have a tongue tie by a doctor on the labour ward but was assessed by an infant feeding expert and he was restricted by over 50% and it was posterior so not easy to see.

[HanPanPeg]

I ageee with the poster who says you might need a specialist bf counsellor / expert - my baby was ‘checked’ for tt in hospital and also had a difficult birth so was in hospital for a week (and was getting the latch checked by everyone who came anywhere near me!) but it was missed. A week or so later I had a bf counsellor take a look and then referred me to tongue tie clinic. Not to bang on about it but feeding constantly - I was doing 7 hour stretches - isn’t normal especially when the baby still appears hungry!

Just something for you to rule out. It is so so hard in the beginning (at least I found it hard and stressful) and anything you can do that / any advice or support you can get is so worth it.

[WheresMyMilk]

I’m far from an expert and have been on here asking for help with my own bf woes, but from what I’ve read, while cluster feeding is very normal, 21 hours a day of feeding is excessive, and very hard to be sustainable for you!

Is it painful when you feed? I was also told the latch was good due to no dimpling on cheeks etc but daughter had a significant tongue tie, and since getting it fixed it’s improved a lot, although we aren’t there yet. Lactation consultant told me that it’s all very well someone saying it looks good but it’s important how it feels for you. Can you hear baby swallowing when they’re latched on?

[60sPony]

Well done you, still at his birth weight one week on for a breastfed baby is excellent... I hope the midwife told you how good that is and how good you are doing. He will be establishing your supply at the moment which is why it is so relentless... honestly it won’t be like this forever.
Order yourself some spatone sachets and have two everyday to get your iron back up after loosing all that blood.

[Betsyboo87]

I’m sure DS was checked for tongue tie when I was in hospital due to the latch issues. I had put those problems down to the birth complications and being unable to hold him until 2hrs after birth. I’m not in the UK so things are a bit different here. I have a midwife visit on Monday so I’ll be sure to mention this. She has watched me feed and said everything looks good.

I did decide to try pumping earlier to encourage my supply and for DH to feed whilst I rest. I really struggled to get much. I know pumping is less effective but I don’t know if this indicates an issue.

I think we’ll try another bottle tomorrow and take it from there. If I can get another couple of hours sleep tonight I’ll feel better.

[rottiemum88]

Sounds pretty normal at a week in, but honestly if you need the break do not worry about giving the occasional bottle. I know the advice is to wait 6 weeks to avoid "confusing" the baby, but in my (albeit limited) experience, everyone who's done this has ended up with a complete bottle refuser. With DS we started with DH giving one bottle a day in the evening from birth, to give me a break/let me get a few hours uninterrupted sleep. He continued the same way until nursery at 8 months, which he transitioned to no problem because he already knew how to take milk from a bottle, then stopped with the bottles altogether by a year old. He still has one breastfeed a day at bedtime now he's nearly 18 months. I really don't see any downsides to combination feeding of your baby accepts it and it works for you

[Lockdownseperation]

Is your baby feeding all the time (listen for the swallowing) or sucking in their sleep. If babies are consistently feeding for an hour or more, as in every feed for several days/a week then you should get them checked for tongue tie.

At the beginning breast feeding is exhausted but once established it is much easier. I have had one ff baby and one bf baby.

[BertieBotts]

I don't think that literally constant feeds are totally normal actually, especially with the initial latch issues, that's two red flags there. I agree with the poster saying you should get him checked for tongue tie. I'd also want a feed observed by an experienced breastfeeding support person, which probably means not a health visitor or midwife. You don't just have to put up with this for however long.

[HanPanPeg]

Oh and because our baby wasn’t getting enough (although also put weight back on) we did do top up feeds with formula BUT again after tongue tie was dealt with gradually stopped and went back to only breastfeeding - so what I mean to say is formula is fine (obviously) but I was worried switching would be the end of breastfeeding, and that is not the case

[Russell19]

Totally normal and it does get better OP! I felt like this for about 6 weeks then it started to get better.

[HanPanPeg]

I would have them checked for tongue tie - I had a constant feeder (tongue tied) and it’s just not sustainable - do they fall asleep after a couple of minutes on breast and then wake up and start again? Also I ended up with battered and bleeding nipples! After the tongue tie was dealt with feeding became easier and less intense (still need have cluster feeding but was not non-stop)

[Elmo230885]

Cluster feeding can be intense, and noone seems to warm you beforehand. Only thing you can do is get comfy, make sure you've got a drink and the TV remotes to hand and just go with it!

[Betsyboo87]

He fell asleep in my arms so I chanced the cot - I got 2.5hrs sleep! Back to the back to the breast now but I’m feeling much better. Thanks for the further recommendations too. Seems side feeding is the way forward.

[crazychemist]

BF is really tough in the early weeks, even if you have a straight forward birth. My DD fortunately was fairly chilled in the mornings, but come late afternoon/evening she was just stuck on the boob constantly for the first 2/3 weeks.

With DD, we used to go up to bed early (as soon as DH got home from work) and get snuggled up in bed with my laptop and watch telly/doze (safely! DH was awake, but meant I could half nod off with DD latched on and propped up, knowing her was keeping an eye). I’d often lie on my side to feed her, and she and I would both doze in and out.

So much easier by the end of the 3rd week. You’ll get there.

[Bugaboom]

Definitely try the side lying feeding.

Bf is really hard in the early stages but if you can, try to relax with a pile of snacks and some good TV whilst feeding. We introduced a dummy when DS was 3 weeks old and that was a godsend. DD on the other hand was in no way interested in anything other than the breast. I was totally thrown by how much DS fed and watched the clock all the time. I wish I'd been told before he was born that it was completely normal for them to feed a lot in the early weeks. Congratulations OP

[justtmee]

As others have said it's completely normal! I also really recommend feeding while laying down safely in bed - real saved my sanity especially as DC3 just wouldn't settle when put down but co slept like a dream. Re the not being able to put them down I used to just strap them into the car seat and go a short drive or out for a walk. Your DH can do this if you feel like you need a break.
You're doing so well to get baby to birth weight so soon!

[Betsyboo87]

Thank you all for your supportive messages. It’s reassuring to know that it’s normal even if it’s tough. We have given him a bottle but within 20 mins he was crying for the breast again. I think it is partially a comfort thing.

@KatnissK thanks I’ll take a look at that position. Just a small amount of sleep would be great right now. Wow 3.5l! You’re partly right re bf. I never really wanted to but now I feel I’ve come this far I don’t want to stop.

DH just went out to the supermarket and has come back with a load of food with the aim of getting my strength back. Hopefully some extra calories will give me more energy.