20 month old not walking or saying words

[SqidgeBum]

My DD is 20 months next week. As the title says, she isnt walking and isnt talking. She will take very wobbly steps if you hold her hand, but she has been doing this for about 2 months now and hasn't improved at all. She hasnt taken any steps unaided. She does cruise the furniture and climb but her balance is terrible.

Also, she has barely any language. She makes 'eh' sounds at everything, says 'dada', and does know some animal sounds (snake, cow, sheep). She hasnt managed a new sound or word in about 2 months. I am a teacher so I am very aware of her development. I read to her every day, dozens of books, and she loves them. I speak to her all the time, constantly. I am always pointing out animals and their sounds, colours, objects, everything. I have tried doing flashcards with her but she seems to have no attention span for them. The weird thing is her comprehension seems fantastic. She understands everything I say, even when I ask her for very specific items.

I have been saying up to now 'she will do things in her own time' but the time is really ticking by and she isnt doing anything. It doesnt help that she has a 23 month old cousin to who independently counting to 20 and has been walking since 14 months. My DHs family LOVE to compare them. I am starting to feel like I have failed her, that maybe she isnt learning because I am not doing enough.

Should I be worried?

[surreygirl1987]

Hello! My son is 20 months old and his talking has only really taken off in the past few weeks. What worried me most was his limited understanding - but he suddenly 'got it'. I was worried too but one day he just started communicating and he's currently saying a few new words every day! You might find that lightbulb moment happens with your daughter. To be honest, if she is understanding lots as you describe, I wouldn't personally be worried until 2 if she's not got many words. My friend's son also isn't talking and he's 22 months old..
HV said to give him until he's 2 and then if he's still not talking they'll have a look at him. His understanding is excellent though.

When I was worried son couldn't understand anything, I investigated options and was told I could self refer him. So I asked my HV and she send me a form on the internet and I requested a hearing test and speech therapy. I eventually had a phone call and was told it would take a long time but that we were on the waiting list for a hearing test at least. This was a while ago now- I don't think we need the appointment anymore as he clearly understands stuff and is saying words now. But if you are worried, that's an option. We also considered paying for a private hearing test to speed up the process - they do exist as we found one that looked good in the local.private hospital. Again, don't think we need it now.

As for walking... my son was a delayed walker too. He finally started walking (sort of) at 16 months but shakily. My husband didn't walk until 18 months though. Both he and my son are hypermobile. This causes walking delays. We got a referral to physio a while ago (my son also couldn't bear weight until he was around a year old!) and she was very reassuring. After 18 months I would be surprised if they ignored not walking so I would contract your HV and ask for a referral to physio. It only took us a few weeks to be seen. Alternatively, there are also private paediatric physios around. We got one for just one session for a second opinion and it was very reassuring; she did a home visit.

Anyway, delayed talking and walking is really not uncommon at all and may be nothing to worry about but it would be useful to push HV for referrals to hearing test / S&L therapy and also physio now, especially in case of long waiting lists. And there's the private option if you can afford it and are worried. Hope that helps.

[PinkSubscriber]

Ds was 22 months before he walked. I’d taken him to see a consultant as I was worried. The only thing that got him walking was me spending an entire week off work holding his hand walking him around the house.

[lorisparkle]

The 'I can' website is very useful with information and a progress checker

ican.org.uk/i-cans-talking-point/

When my ds1 was little I self referred to the speech and language therapy service. If you google your local speech and language therapy service there might be more information although as pp have said getting a hearing test is really important no matter how well you think your lo can hear.

In our area 18 months is also the age that children are referred if they are not walking. For some services you can self refer to the physio so again it might be worth checking your local service

[irecitethegruffaloinmydreams]

I can't add to the helpful advice already given but just have ab anecdote to offer. I didn't speak a word until I was 2. HV apparently very concerned, my mother less so as I could point to the relevant pictures in the book when asked. One day I apparently just said 'No, Mummy, I don't like that' out of nowhere, and spoke in sentences from that point on.

[HarrietM87]

In our area any baby not walking by 18 months (3 in our NCT group of 8!) is referred to physio, but you had to contact the HV and ask for it. (We were told at 12 month check to do this). All the babies I know were walking by 2 and had no issues, they just did it in their own time. But I’m sure the physio helped and deffo put their parents’ minds at rest.

And also second the hearing test - it’s the first step in checking any language delay. It sounds like she can hear some things, but if the clarity is missing it will really delay her talking.

Also the comparison is just horrible! Best thing to do is probably to try ignore it but I don’t think I’d be able to stop myself from saying something.

[prettygirlincrimsonrose]

Can't comment on the walking but DS only had a few words at 2, and like your DD loved stories and had great comprehension. We were getting a bit worried and self-referred to a talking toddlers group, which emphasised offering two choices (and praising good choosing), describing what he was doing with lots of repetition and simple sentences, and encouraging signing. DS picked up the sign for more very quickly which was really useful and I think encouraged him that communicating was useful! I'd already been talking a lot, and reading lots of relatively long stories which he liked, but I made an effort to describe what he was doing in 2/3 word sentences, using the same words a lot (DS throw ball, DS catch ball, Mummy throw ball, DS drop ball etc), and he started copying. It might have happened anyway but he's now (at 2 and a half) saying plenty of 3/4 word sentences and adding new words all the time. You might be using those techniques anyway, but just thought it might help.

Agree with Thesearmsofmine that your in-laws are being unhelpful, and thoughtless at best. It is really hard not to worry, and a chat with the health visitor sounds like it might be a good idea.

[november90]

My little boy had a speech delay. By two I think he was saying about 5 words... and perhaps 20 by 2.5. He could hear us all fine, but he had recurring ear infections. Anyway he has glue ear in 1 ear and had grommets fitted which resolved everything and his speech came on leaps are bounds after!

He was also a slow walker... very bowed legged and clumsy. I think he was about 14 months before he started using the walker! Again he was referred to a specialist but it just corrected itself. Upon reflection the balence issues were likely linked to his glue ear!

Try not to self diagnose or let your concerns run away with you like I did. I was convinced my son was autistic and my heart was absolutely broken. I feel like I lost a good part on my sons 2nd year to worry.
The best thing you can do is ring your health visitor and get some advice! They will still come out even during lockdown and the sooner you can both get some support then better :)

[niclw]

OP. I can't give any advice I'm afraid as I'm in a similar boat. My son is 20 months old and isnt speaking either except up and mummum. He can babble for England though and understands so much. I've been wanting to get in touch with our HV but I know they were nearly all recruited to the Covid-19 fight in this area. I'm a teacher too and have been doing exactly the same as you with flash cards etc. I just keep hoping that my DS is taking it all in and will suddenly start blurting out lots of words. I am aware my friend's son had delayed speech as he kept getting ear infections which affected his hearing. I have assumed that as my DS understands then he must be able to hear although I might take him to the doctor to get it checked. I've I manage to get I touch with our HV I'll let you know what is said.

[SqidgeBum]

@Lockdownseperation she had a 'one year's checkup at 10 months which seemed to be made up of 'so she is ok ye? Any concerns? No? Great. See you in a year' (DH took her). She hasn't had any appointment for her 2 year one yet but it is very early. I will be contacting the HV next week

[Lockdownseperation]

You should have been offered a one year check with the HV and there is also a 2 year check. Have you not had either of these? Either way you need to your HV now to discuss your concerns.

[Colouringinbook]

Mine didn't have any words at 20 months, got a referral at the 2yr check which is the earliest they'll refer to to SALT here but still waiting for an appointment. We've seen a huge improvement over the last couple of months (now 27 months)

I'd push the HV/GP with support re walking.

[Marcipex]

She needs a hearing test, so push for that.

[Enterthedragons]

My DD wasn’t saying anything at 20 months either. Now at 25 months she talks in full sentences!

[Duckchick]

DS1 didn't say any words until 19 months, in his case it was linked to glue ear. DS2 had his 10 month review last week with a health visitor over the phone, he has also scored low on communication. The health visitor said I should get in touch again if he isn't talking by 18 months.

If you want to do a general check to see how your DD is doing generally before you call anyone, you can find the Ages and Stages questionnaires on the internet. I don't know but I'm wondering if it might give you an idea of the sorts of questions they might ask you when you call.

For example, the one for 20 months is here <a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.southernhealth.nhs.uk/EasysiteWeb/getresource.axd%3FAssetID%3D99665%26type%3DFull%26servicetype%3DAttachment&ved=2ahUKEwi2nbiTuvzpAhWPi1wKHVTIBJgQFjAAegQIAxAC&usg=AOvVaw2hDDVmjamP9fnBjWp_0MJJ" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.southernhealth.nhs.uk/EasysiteWeb/getresource.axd%3FAssetID%3D99665%26type%3DFull%26servicetype%3DAttachment&ved=2ahUKEwi2nbiTuvzpAhWPi1wKHVTIBJgQFjAAegQIAxAC&usg=AOvVaw2hDDVmjamP9fnBjWp_0MJJ . The form to score the answers is here <a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.southernhealth.nhs.uk/EasysiteWeb/getresource.axd%3FAssetID%3D99666%26type%3DFull%26servicetype%3DAttachment&ved=2ahUKEwi2nbiTuvzpAhWPi1wKHVTIBJgQFjABegQIAxAI&usg=AOvVaw0CoPYJWHWPvsE_fM9Suflq" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.southernhealth.nhs.uk/EasysiteWeb/getresource.axd%3FAssetID%3D99666%26type%3DFull%26servicetype%3DAttachment&ved=2ahUKEwi2nbiTuvzpAhWPi1wKHVTIBJgQFjABegQIAxAI&usg=AOvVaw0CoPYJWHWPvsE_fM9Suflq .

[Onceuponatimethen]

You might need to really Push to get a hearing test - probably better to book telephone appointment with the gp to get a referral

[Onceuponatimethen]

Me too @SqidgeBum our Ent consultant says it is often genetic in his view

[SqidgeBum]

I never actually thought of hearing issues! I had bad ears as a kid and had hearing issues that were undiagnosed for years. I don't know how I never considered that. I will ring the HV next week and say this to them so maybe something can be looked into.

[pinktaxi]

Re the talking. Has she had her hearing checked? DD2 had huge adenoids and glue ear, despite never having an infection. She understood me but even today some words are not spoken well.

[Thesearmsofmine]

I just want to add, please ignore your in-laws. Comparing children is awful, my youngest was born a few days before my DN and I have had the same, luckily he is my third and I have a background in the early years so was confident enough to just roll my eyes at them.

[passmethewineplease]

My DS was similar, in my area of children aren’t walking by 18 months they’ll come out and do an ages & stages questionnaire with you. It helps them to see if there is a delay over other areas.

My DS eventually walked at 21 months. He was a heavy bugger to carry.

DS has been diagnosed with GDD was his delays were over more areas of his development.

Give the HV a call and explain your concerns, can’t hurt!

[Thesearmsofmine]

I think I would give the health visitor a call.
My concern would be the lack of walking independently and talking together, either alone(as she is weight bearing) I would be less concerned about. It may be nothing but it is worth having a chat and getting things checked over early if there is a reason behind it.

[Angelonia]

The talking sounds ok to me. My DS2 had hardly any words before he was 2yo - he's now 10yo and doing well at school. Agree the walking is a bit more unusual at that age. Sorry to hear that your in laws are being so insensitive

[ohlookagain]

I can't comment on the walking as my older two walked pre one year (a bit of a curse if I'm honest) and youngest is only 7 months. Re the talking my eldest was definitely two before she was talking, I'd say closer to three before things really clicked into place. Now having talked to others it seems very common for first children to be well into their twos before they are saying proper words. My second was talking pre age 2 but she was learning from the eldest and from me.
The thing that would concern me is both the late walking and potential late talking together. Could be something to do with her ears if there is a balance issue too. Likely she'll be absolutely fine though op and just taking thing in her own time but even if she is delayed there's support to bring her back on tract.

[Destroyedpeople]

Honestly she sounds about the same as my daughter at that age who was also a 'difficult birth'.....ventouse...being 'flat'...she was fine just a bit late doing stuff.
Please try not worry too much x

[Onceuponatimethen]

Sorry should have said the book is Hanen’s It Takes Two to Talk

Apologies for typos - trying to wrangle toddler dd and phone