Feeling broody for 3rd Child but large age gap

[queenqueenqueen]

Ok so I'm sure I'm not the first person to post with this sort of question but can anyone help me , advice , words of wisdom or reality check?!?



I am feeling so so broody for another baby right now!! I have loved being with my two during lockdown they are 6 and 4 and absolutely lovely!! I have a boy and a girl

My littlest one is starting reception this time and and I'm not sure if I'm yearning for my. 2 being little again (sob) but I really feel like I want another baby. I keep trying to shake the idea because there'd be an almost 6 Year age gap between imaginary baby and my youngest and then almost 8 between my DS.

Bad idea? ??

[krispycreme]

5.2 years between DD1 and DD3. She really enjoyed becoming a big sister again at an age where she knew what was going on and could be very hands on with baby. I agree that because 2 year gap seems very typical (I had 2 under 2 for my first gap) it sort of puts you off any other gap with having experienced it I don't think it should.
All I'll say is as a pp touched on, just make sure it's what you want long term vs thinking you have loads of time and everything is relaxed whilst in lockdown. Our third slotted right in which I'v heard half of people say vs half who say it pushed them over the edge.

[queenqueenqueen]

@Dodie66 oh no I'm 33 and hubby 44

[Dodie66]

I am 20 years older than my younger brother, my other brothers we 14 and 16 when he was born. My mum was 42 and my dad was 50. We all loved our baby brother.
33 is not too old to be a dad

[queenqueenqueen]

Thanks @meadowhay I know what you mean my cousins are much older than me and when we were growing up we obviously got on as we are a close family but you don't have anything in common whereaa now it's totally different. The gap closes over time xx

[MeadowHay]

All the sibling groups I know with gaps of 6-8 years are very close. Obviously anecdotal but they are. I also know of a few gaps of around 18 years and obviously the dynamic is very different in that case! However they are still close - as in the older ones dote on the younger ones, and even a gap like that won't pose an issue in adulthood. People sometimes have partners with an agegap like that hah after all, so it's not like it won't even out later. I think how close siblings are though is about much more than age gaps.

[DennisTMenace]

I have a similar age gap with my siblings that your kids would end up with. By brother had been the youngest for 6 years and was not impressed about a screaming baby messing that up. Worse still a girl! My sister considered me cute, so I got on a lot better with her. They were close growing up and have more similar interests. I grew up separate to them and they were both gone before I was a teenager. They are much closer now to each other than I am to them and I never see them unless we are all getting together with parents (obviously not at the moment).

On the other hand, I am glad I am alive and like my life. Each child is different, so you won't know how it turns out unless you have one.

[queenqueenqueen]

My youngest would be 5.5 when imaginary baby was born if we were to get pregnant like this week haha so I guess I'm looking at more realistically a 6 year gap or more 😥

Maybe need to talk my DH into having 2 more then!! My 2 have the cutest relationship and yes I do worry about another child being a bit left out.

[SmellyBeard]

I think an age gap of 5 years is just about okay - any more than this and you run the risk of the youngest feeling very separate to the older two.

I'm the youngest by 10 years and I am not close to my siblings, although we get on.

[Dozer]

5 years + is considered a big age gap by some psychologists.

[AtAmber]

That's not a big age gap! My youngest is 13 today. My other two are 20 and 34. They are all very close even though dc1 had moved out before dc3 was born.

[Malone98]

When my friend was 16, her mum had a baby. There was also a 15 year old, 10 year old and 7 year old. My friend is now 21 and her DM has had another baby. They are possibly the closest family I have ever known.

I have another friend who was 16 when she got her first sibling. She now has two sisters, and they have a three year age gap. They seem really happy with it xx

[CroissantsAtDawn]

My dad is the youngest by 14, 12 and 8 years. He said he grew up feeling like an only child. He can't remember living with the 2 eldest and barely with the 3rd.

They all get on ok but only really started meeting regularly (twice a year!) In my dad's 50s.

The eldest 2 are very close, as are their children and grandchildren.

I barely know any of my cousins and wouldn't recognize half my family in the street.

[queenqueenqueen]

Ahh thanks @meadowhay! Xx

[queenqueenqueen]

You'll have to let me know how things go @flumo!!

Yeah I think because me and my sister are close in age and my 2 are close in age I think of 2 year age gap as "normal' but guess that's just because it's normal to us. Xx

[happymummy12345]

My mum had all her children 10 years apart. There's 10 years between my brother and I, 10 years between my brother and sister, and 20 years between my sister and I.
I loved being much older as I could be much more involved. It worked for her.
Personally we won't be having another until our first is settled at school

[MeadowHay]

I can't tell you whether it's a good idea or not for your specific circumstances, but I honestly thought you'd be talking about at least a 10 yr gap after your last child when I saw the thread title, or even more! What you've described isn't a big age gap at all, plenty of families have those gaps, planned or unplanned. A few sets of me and DH's cousins are two sibling groups with age gaps of around 6-7yrs and I know colleagues at work have 2 and more kids with that gap too, I thought it was pretty common.

[Flumo]

My girl and boy are 8 and 6 currently 34 weeks pregnant 😁

[BendingSpoons]

With a 1 and 4yo I'd say don't do it! Enjoy your relative freedom and not having to think about night wakings, naps, nappies, toddler tantrums - I could go on, lockdown has been full on

[Dozer]

Some psychologists say that an age gap over 5 years is, for the youngest DC, more like the experience of being an only child.

What’s your situation with respect to paid work, pension, fertility, relationship, extended family support etc?

(We didn’t ttc DC3 due to several of these factors!)

[Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons]

Mine were 4 & 7 when we had our third - it was wonderful & still is. All three are currently playing together on the trampoline

Thoroughly recommended (but don’t assume it will stop you being broody - our family is complete but I’m still broody & suspect I always will be!)

[userabcname]

There's 11 years between my brother and I and it's fine! I loved having a baby brother at that age. Honestly, in my family the standard age gap is at least 7 years - I bucked the trend by having my 2 only 2 years apart (family thought I'd gone mad!). I really don't think the age gap should put you off. I'm also considering a third but wondering if the age gap is too small- youngest is 7mo now. DH reckons it would be fine but I'm not sure if we would just descend into carnage! Possibly will try next year though.

[TankGirl97]

I had dc3 last year, older two were 6 and 4. It's actually really lovely, they adore the baby and I can ask them to help out a little.

There are the age old issues of less time, less money, car too small for three car seats, house too small for 5 etc. If you can get past those issues, the age gap is no problem at all.

[mistermagpie]

I've got three but quite close together, my eldest is 4 and youngest is 6 months. There are pretty much 2 years between them all.

4 years isn't a huge gap but I personally wouldn't have wanted to go back to the baby stuff again if my second was 4. Saying that, the heart wants what it wants and I love having three so I'd probably recommend it!

[Papergirl1968]

I think the dynamic differs depending on whether there are two older siblings or only one. Eg one older sister and a younger sister might be closer than if there are two older sisters and a younger sister.
Gender also comes into it as well as personality, of course.

[Orangecake123]

Go for it op. There's 11 and 9 years between my youngest sisters.

Another friend has a sister 12 years younger then her and now again her mother gave birth to twins so there's more than 19 years between them.