How to discipline a 17 month old?

[Forosu]

My 17 month old is quite the character very chatty and a sweetheart the majority of the time. But I’ve found recently he’s hitting a lot more, biting and throwing toys at me and doesn’t listen when I say no, take the toy away or move away. He’ll either continue to throw or hit etc or he will cry because I told him off. I feel like he is either to young to be ‘disciplined’ in a sense or he’s just turning in to a brat!

Also, at bedtime it’s becoming a battle, I am currently trying to drop a nap so it could be the transition that is unsettling him. But he just has so much energy and wants to talk to me and mess around instead.

What techniques do you guys use? Or is just another phase that I have to ride out?

[CAG12]

@OhDear2200 people like you on MN make me angry. Clearly that OP asked for advice. Its quite clear what shes getting at.

[BertieBotts]

Too little for discipline in terms of anything with the intention of making him think I'd better not do that - that comes later. At this age it's more behaviour management which means things like:

Control his environment - if he's throwing things take the things he's throwing away, then he can't throw them any more. If you're distracting him during nap time remove yourself from the equation and get him to settle by himself, etc. Also the obvious things you're probably already doing like keeping dangers or destructive things away from him unless you can closely supervise.

Redirection - recognise his impulse control is very underdeveloped and his impulses are often related to learning and are very strong. Provide him opportunity to expend his energy throughout the day so he's tired at nap time and bed time. Set up a game with a ball he is allowed to throw etc.

Close supervision - this age is where helicopter parenting is actually beneficial or necessary, because it means you can catch things in the act or just before he does things and prevent him while explaining in very simple terms why that's not allowed.

If he does get upset because you've stopped him doing something that you don't want him to do it's a good idea to validate that emotion by giving it a name, it helps him become more emotionally literate which will cut down on things like random aggression or destruction as these are often children trying to communicate feelings like anger or loneliness or disappointment that they don't yet understand.

Two really good resources I like are Janet lansbury's stuff (she has a book and a free podcast) and the How To Talk series, starting with how to talk so little kids will listen and listen so little kids will talk.

Good luck :)

[Forosu]

Well isn’t disciplining a part of parenting? The point Is he’s playing up and hitting and throwing which isn’t what I consider acceptable behaviour and don’t want to just let him run riot. Yeah, bedtime may not be a battle for him but it certainly feels like it for me.

Everyone else, thank you for the advice it’s much appreciated and will try and distract him when he hits and throws.

[Paddy1234]

Ok she may have the word wrong but please give some respect that's she asking for advice. This is not a forum for making OP's feeling shit.

The first advice is very good ❤️

[OhDear2200]

FFS you don’t “discipline” a 17 month old. You parent a 17 month old.

Bedtime is not a “battle” for him, all he’s doing is trying to keep his mummy near him.

[SleepWarrior]

As above really. He's just too young for proper discipline, but it can be a very pain in the are age as a result!

Games that involve doing a dance or similar and then STOP, can be a good way of teaching him to listen to you saying stop to something whilst still being fun.

[Ricekrispie22]

Give him a firm "No". Follow this with a very brief explanation why. Tell him in simple terms what you expect. Children this age don't have the self-control to inhibit a behaviour. Just keep explaining the rules, and by age 21/2 to 3, he'll begin to understand them and be better able to act on them.
Try to redirect him to another activity. His attention span is relatively short at this age, so redirection is an effective way to distract him.
Be consistent. You may need to repeat something several times before he understands which behaviours are not acceptable.
Praise him for his acceptable behaviour regularly throughout the day. Positive reinforcement of the behaviors you want will help him feel motivated to repeat this behaviour, as well as helping him learn that he does not need to act out to get your attention.
Children have a real explosion of language at this age, but because they still can't articulate their feelings, they often get frustrated. Hitting and biting may be a result of getting frustrated. Try to look for patterns.