Gender specific pyjamas

[ThePurplePrincess]

My son will be 7 next week and other than a football party all he is asking for is some 'my little pony' pyjamas. my three sons love watching it and the birthday boy particularly enjoys it - he is a very thoughtful and caring child.

We have searched online together and found some that he likes and by his definition aren't too girly.

my husband is not happy and doesn't want me to buy them for him. He can't tell me why but just said he doesn't like the idea that I will buy him something that is aimed at girls. If we had a daughter he has openly admitted that he would by her some Star Wars or avengers pyjamas if she wanted them. How hypocritical is that??? Apparently they are films and are for everyone where as my little pony is aimed at girls. So boys are ok to watch it but not play with the toys??

I get more and more frustrated that toys and clothing are gender specific, shops are completely divided boys and girls. And more and more they are producing 'girl' variations of toys ie the new superhero girl figures. What kind of a message is that giving our children?!

[nooka]

Oh I like those red ones

[JustHereIGuess]

I didn't say anything about him being gay or trans, I just wouldn't buy my son something that is/was aimed at girls, vice versa if I had a daughter.

[GizmoFrisby]

My ds loves my little pony, but I don't think I'd buy him pjs.
That's just my opinion. He is very feminine in certain ways and I'm trying to push away from the girlie things he likes. My ds is 7 nearly 8 and there has been a few issues with school etc. I do think he might be gay when he's older. Not that I care, my mother is a lesbian and I have no problem with sexuality. However it's more the issues at school I'm trying to dress him more boyish. He rarely plays with boys. He's always with about 6 girls playing in the park. It's quite sweet really x

[EmzDisco]

Whether something is "aimed" at boys or girls is the decision of a marketing department. There is no scientific table with a list of girl things and boy things. I wouldn't let them decide what PJs my child wears (or anything else for that matter) in any case it does seem particularly ridiculous to start banning pajamas, usually parents who are funny about this kind of thing worry about what other people think but presumably the only people your child sees in his pajamas are his parents!

They look great!

[JolieColombe]

But what are these things aimed at boys/girls Just? Are you saying you wouldn't let your son play with dolls or a toy pram (because men don't look after kids) or a toy kitchen (because men don't cook)? If you had a daughter, she wouldn't be allowed to play with what - superheroes? Pirates? Science kits? Football?

Presumably it's parents like you that are the reason my daughter came home from nursery saying her favourite colour was a boys colour, and that she couldn't play with certain toys because they were 'for boys' (we swiftly reassured her that this was nonsense).

Just a reminder:

[KatharinaRosalie]

I just wouldn't buy my son something that is/was aimed at girls - so you think ti should be toy and clothes manufacturers' marketing departments who decide what your son should play with and wear? And not you and your son? Because they know better?

[WhispersOfWickedness]

So glad you chose not to listen to your DH and got the pyjamas anyway, OP, I'm sure your DS will be delighted
I also have a nearly 7yo DS who will be getting MLP pyjamas for his birthday, it took me ages to find some with Rainbow Dash on, which is his favourite character! Luckily found some in Tesco eventually
I'm not 'worried' about him liking MLP, WTF would I be worried about?!

[Hedgehog80]

People read too much into the choices of children. It's nothing to do with gender or future sexuality. Sometimes kids just like characters/toys/colours that have been designated for the opposite sex to them.

We had this issue with dd1 who hated anything 'girly', wanted all things blue,green,brown etc, chose 'boys' shoes and played with brio and in the garden getting muddy. She was called a 'tomboy' and one idiot once insinuated that she was 'probably going to be a lesbian' ????as if that has any bearing on it? She liked what she liked and we let her choose what to wear and only with
Ds1 loved dresses , his pre school were amazing and nobody ever said anything they just let him make choices and his learning journey is full of pictures of him dressed up in princess dresses. He is now very much into what would be classed as 'boys' things but yesterday was quite upset that a pair of slippers he wanted were labelled 'womens' and didn't understand as they were red and green so he said "they are for men OR women"

Dd2 lives everything pink and that's her choice it hasn't been forced on her and ds2 loves anything sparkly he has worn a pair of silver glitter high heeled shoes belonging to dd, she called them "diamond princess shoes" and ds2 called them "spaceman shoes" !

Don't worry what your DP thinks OP- wearing some mlp pjs is not going to adversely affect your ds in any way whatsoever. In fact it shows him he can make choices and is supported in them.

[ThePurplePrincess]

Love hearing other people's opinions. I am extremely proud of my son for asking for them and for being mature enough to make his own choices.

[JustHereIGuess]

Morning JolieColombe you are really going off the point now, if my son asked for a doll and a pram (which he wouldn't because he is all boy) I would not buy it for him, I don't understand what you mean by because men don't look after kids?

When he was three we did actually buy him a rather expensive toy kitchen for Christmas which he showed no interest in so I gave it to one of my good friends to give to her daughter, and who says men do not cook? Mine doesn't but I know plenty of men that love to be in the kitchen.

And I know if I did have a daughter which I did actually want, she'd be all girl with no interest in boys toys, me myself being a twin I was never interested in playing with my brothers toys.

KatharinaRosalie I dress my son very boyish, after he was born it took me a while to figure how I would like to dress him. I am one who decides what I allow my son to play with (no guns) and how I dress him.

[DearMrDilkington]

if my son asked for a doll and a pram (which he wouldn't because he is all boy)

Seriously? All boy? Are boys who enjoy pretending to be dads less of a boy then? Sounds like your going to raise a wonderful man with that attitude

[VixenLupin]

You know your daughter would be all girl and wouldn't want "boys toys"???

I'm all girl, I've always been all girl, because I have female body parts and yet I loved my boys toys. And my brother was all boy and he loved My Little Piny (the first time round!).

I'm glad my parents were just happy to buy us the things we liked rather than make a fuss of what was for girls and what was for boys.

I only have boys and they've all played with kitchens, prams, dollls etc and they are definitely "all boy" I know because they have penises. They aren't lesser boys for playing with these things.

[GruffaloPants]

Not aimed at the OP, but just and her "all girl"/"all boy" nonsense.

My daughter is all girl. She has a vagina and XX chromosomes.

She likes pirates, Star Wars, hot wheels, science stuff, space stuff and maths. She likes Disney princesses, chubby puppies, glitter and my little ponies.

She likes what she likes.

DD2 is 3 months. She is wearing an orange sleepsuit. Will she grow a penis?

[throwingpebbles]

I'd get him them. My little pony are awesome!
i like to think we are raising children who don't put things in arbitrary categories any more.

[Flisspaps]

My 6yo DD is all girl - she likes Lego, Shopkins, science, books, MLP and superheroes.

My 4yo DS is all boy. He likes Lego, Shopkins, superheroes, books and dressing up.

I'm confused Just, should I be restricting their toy choices based on what's in their pants rather than in their minds?

[JustHereIGuess]

DearMrDilkington He is already a wonderful little boy, don't worry about that

Flisspaps What are you confused about? It's entirely up to you how you want to raise your children.

I didn't think my input to OPs question would cause this..

[Eolian]

Yes, Just - lots of toys etc ARE unfortunately aimed at either boys or girls, but why you'd want to perpetuate such an utterly pointless and divisive attitude, I can't possibly imagine.

[Sadik]

These things always remind me of my friend's little brother when I was a small child. He loved to dress up in girls clothes, play with makeup etc.

His liberal-London-intellectual parents were all 'aww, he's so lovely' and I think imagined him growing up to be a designer or something like that. He joined army cadets as a teenager, then the TA, and last I heard a few years back was working (civilian, but definitely something hairy) in Iraq . . .

[Sadik]

I'm not exactly sure what the point of that story was, mind you . . . Maybe OP you should refuse your ds the pjs just in case he later wants to become a mercenary

Anyways, the pyjamas look lovely, and I'm sure he'll be thrilled. IME My Little Pony is quite a 'thing' with teen boys at least round here, so he's even sticking with gender stereotypes for those who care!

[JolieColombe]

My point Just (as the sarcasm seems to have passed you by) was that as men do look after babies and cook (and even clean!) why on earth would these toys be viewed as for girls only? Children like to copy what they see adults doing. If we tell them certain roles are for men/women only, that's the message they take to adulthood, although hopefully exposure to a wider society would help them to think in less narrow channels as they grow older. Do you consider caring for babies and cooking as women's work only? Because that's what you're teaching your son. If you do, there's not much point continuing this conversation as we're very unlikely to ever agree.

But seriously, what toys would you stop a daughter playing with?

Apologies for the derail OP, I love the PJs, hope your DS does too

[BroomstickOfLove]

My 7 year old DS is a big MLP fan, but doesn't want the clothes. I think it's partly because they are all very much cut and coloured as girls' clothes, but also, I don't think he's that keen on tie-in clothes in general. He loved his MLP helium balloon that he got for his birthday.

[00100001]

www.dhgate.com/product/baby-boys-girls-my-little-pony-clothing-set/252237858.html

Here we go - it might help your DH?

[00100001]

just What does "all boy" even mean?

[JustHereIGuess]

Yes those are more appropriate, All boy meaning he doesn't have any interest in anything associated to girls, you know exactly what I mean so I don't know why you've taken time out to ask me the question.

[PinkSwimGoggles]

yanbu
I bet your ds will love them!

ask your dh if he thinks pink shirts on managers makes them look gay?