Is an absent mother, a good mother?

[DetentionGrrrl]

There's an article in the Independent today about Sarah Ferguson (Duchess of York) being named Mother of the Year (or some such bollocks), and it points out that since she lives on a different continent to her kids, should she really be 'mother of the year.'

It begs the question, are serious 'career women' as good mothers as SAHM or part time workers?

It's not a loaded question, i'm going back to work 4 days a week next month. Just thought it was an interesting debate myself.

[strongteabag]

I am a mother of very young children so to be anywhere near winning mother of the year i would have to meet the needs of such young children. Sf is a mother of older children so its perfectly acceptable for her to be seen as a great mum. She may have had a priviledged life but dont think she has had an easy life and her kids seem really nice. Better mum of the year to be a woman trying to forge her own career etc than a foul mouthed druggy. Never been a sf fan though myself.

[Aloha]

This is a WOHM thread, this is a LOADC thread (Living on a different continent) thread. Slightly different IMO!

[paulaplumpbottom]

There are all kinds of Mommys out there. Some work and some stay at home. These are not the things that make us good or bad mothers. A good mother is one who loves her children and who does her best by them. You'll just have to squeeze all those kisses and cuddles into a shorter amount of time where mine are spread out more during the day. At the end of it there is still the same amount of love and thats what matters.

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

Greensleeve - give it time, give it time. Or has MN changed in the few weeks I've been away?

[DetentionGrrrl]

probably, and then meet for skiing, croquet and fox hunting in the Summer Holidays. Probably

[DetentionGrrrl]

they are almost grown up, but the article points out she's done so for 10years, so they would have been kids then.

[ScummyMummy]

Aren't her kids grown up more or less, though? i agree it'd be pretty hard to be a good parent to say, a toddler or a twelve y.o if you were mostly on different continents but it's a bit different once adulthood approaches, no? I see my dad about as regularly as if we were on different continents but consider him a great dad, for example.

[HeartOnMyGreensleeve]

Has anyone said that? Apart from you, that is?

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

Oh lovely, another WOHMs are crap "debate".

[DetentionGrrrl]

The article talks about high flying full time workers, MP's for example, rather than your average full time worker who is home for breakfast / dinner at least.

I don't think someone who travels / works most of the time is being a good mother, just as a Dad who does the same isn't. It's all very well having money or stature, but it hardly builds relationships with kids.

[ipodthereforipoor]

I'd love to live on another planet to DS never mind continent atm.

[HeartOnMyGreensleeve]

Mother of the year, though? Really?

It's a duff concept anyway. Anyone who qualified under any criteria as "mother of the year" is bound to be an insufferable tosspot anyway.

[DetentionGrrrl]

Greensleeve: i get the feeling i've inadvertently started a thread on a well-discussed topic...i'm off to start threads about whether people who give their toddlers McDonalds are crappy aswell now.

[LadyMacbeth]

Kate Moss and Kerry Katona have also been Mother of the Year nominees in years gone by. I think there was quite a lot of debate about their suitability to the title. I'm sure it's just a wooden spoon thing organised by bored people and I'd take it all with a pinch of salt myself .

[HeartOnMyGreensleeve]

Well, my 4yo has a very cordial relationship with the postman, MTS

[lulumama]

the WOHM / SAHM comparison, does not work here, as most WOHMs are in the same country as their children

personally, i think someone like Alison Lapper or someone who actually mothers their children with great sacrifice or against great adversity is more deserving than the face of American Weight Watchers

[brimfull]

well her darling dd's are grown up or at boarding school so she doesn't have the same pressures as us normal mums.

[mummytosteven]

to play devil's advocate, she looks to have a very good relationship with her kids, so I guess that however unconventionally she's done it seems to have worked out well

[DetentionGrrrl]

For at least some time every day, be it just a little while during the week- i'd deem that as regularly.

Obviously Fergie's kids are older mind you, but Mother of the Year? My arse.

[hunkermunker]

And what about dads who work full time? Are they shit because they don't see their children?

[ghosty]

I don't think you can compare working mothers with SF ... working mothers are not 'absent' are they? They are merely at work ... they can rush home if their child is sick etc etc (well, not if you are Xenia obviously and have nannies etc )
Being "Mother of the Year" when you live on a different continent to your children sounds a bit strange IMO.