how do you get a baby into a routine??

[Tumtitum]

I can't get my head around how to get a baby (5 mo DD) into a routine of sorts. What if she refuses to nap at nap time? Do I just let her stay awake until the following nap time? Overtiredness is I think a big problem for us so the idea of that panics me, but she does seem to get upset by changes eg visiting family so I'm wondering if she might benefit from a more scheduled routine?

[Tumtitum]

Day two of trying to find some sort of pattern...
19.30 bed
22.30 fed
22.45 slept
23.45 feed
?00.00 - 1.50 slept
?1.50 co-slept and fed on and off until ?3.20 then put back in cot
Awake around 4-something? Fed and co-slept?
Awake around ?5 put in cot with dummy and babbled
DH woke at 6 and she was awake so he took her downstairs
Brought her up at 7.30 - fed in bed
8-8.20 rocked to sleep
8.20-9 slept
9 fed
11.20-11.45 nap in sling
12 small feed
13 small feed
14 - 16.20 nap in sling 
16.30 small feed
17.45 bigger feed
18.30 bath feed bed
19.30 asleep

[Twinklestar2]

Tum - yep, can agree with that one

[Tumtitum]

I think my problem is the patience thing!! ;) some days I have it and other days it just disappears...

[Twinklestar2]

I remember posting in here at 11 weeks asking how the hell do you get baby into a routine and all of a sudden it just fell into place! You'll get there

[thatdarncat]

I should add these were started at 11-12 weeks.

[thatdarncat]

EASY routine. Every time. I swear by it. DD1 took about 1 month to fall into it (catnapping and 4 month sleep regression aside), after that you could set your watch by her. DD2 fell into it by a week. Tips - don't stress if times don't go according to plan, and be patient. With gentle persistence you will get there

[Twinklestar2]

Tum - when he was your baby's age I dreamt of the same! They do get there, hang on in there.

Around 10 months I think, I swapped to 2-3-4 routine. That meant nap after 2 hour wake time, then 3 hours after they woke up from nap and then 4 hours to bed.

Like a PP said, when they drop a nap it really throws you!

[MunchyMunchkin]

I wouldn't worry too much about a set routine, especially if your bf on demand and not back at work.
I tended to do easy routine concentrating on wake times rather than length of naps. So short naps = more naps. My LO is now 10 months and mostly follows the 2/3/4 routine but I look out for her tired signs and if the 2 naps are very short then she will have a third. Although she sometimes has to be persuaded to do it. If I'm at home then it's cot naps (since 6 months) but I'm not a slave to them. She will nap out and about so some naps just happen when and where ever. I'll admit that sometimes I go out in the car/pram or sling walk just so I didn't have to fight with her to sleep in the cot.
Don't worry about a set wake up time, if LO has been up all night let them and you catch a few more zzzs.

[Purplebluebird]

We had a strict routine, but then around 5-6m we needed to completely change it and drop a nap. It really threw me, because I was expecting him to stay on 3 naps a day a bit longer! Play around a bit and see what works, but beware it might not stay the same for more than a few months before you need to tweak it again.

[Tumtitum]

I dream of a 3 hour nap!! Although I think I'd convince myself that something was wrong if she took one!! ;)

[Twinklestar2]

Sounds about right to me

I did bedtime routine same time every night and followed EASY routine during day and u
I found that worked really well for me.

I am one of those mums that has to be home for my son to take a nap as he doesn't sleep out of the house and gets very clumsy when he's tired! But it works for me cause I can get a 3-hour lunchtime nap out of him in his cot - he loves his own bed!

He's nearly 23 months now.

[Tumtitum]

Okay first day of noting nap times etc...
Bed last night at 18.45
Up 21.30 - feed
Slept 22.00 - 00.30
Awake 02.30 - feed
02.45 - 4 slept
4am - feed
4.20- 5.50 - awake. gave dummy but awake so got up to play
7 - feed then play
7.40 - nap time, fed to sleep (not usual but had vomited on playmat and done huge burp)
8 -8.40  asleep
9.45 feed
10.30 nap time, DH rocked to sleep
10.55 - 11.30 asleep
Play 
12.15 feed 
12.45 nap time, seemed tired, tried to self soothe but ended up rocking to sleep
13.25 - 14.05 sleep
14.05 still seemed tired, tried to feed to sleep then jiggle to sleep, didn't work!
16-17.15 walk in sling. Slept 10 mins then woke, slept again at end for 20 mins approx. Woke her up still tired as didn't want bedtime to be late
18.15 bath, feed and lullabies, bed. Tried to self soothe for 40 mins, not crying but grizzling at times, other times happy. Went in 3-4 times, only picked up, other times put in dummy etc. Fell asleep with dummy and hand on tummy shhhing.
19.30 asleep

Sorry for all the extra detail, more for myself to remember what works!! ;)
 

[Tumtitum]

Ok, I might do it, but will post on here so that you lot can egg me on if I don't and can spot the patterns for me!!

[polkadotdelight]

I thought DS had no routine at that age but after a few days of jotting down feed and nap times it was very clear he did. Its worth a go, even if it means you find out that she isnt a routine led baby.

[KatyN]

I have an older child as well. He's 4.5 so no naps for him. On the days he's not at nursery we try and be home for the 6 month olds naps. Morning nap we get dressed and he has a third breakfast. We come home for lunch and then potter around at home for her big lunchtime nap. On days when we are out all day, I try to encourage her to follow her nap routine in the pram or my arms but it is much harder.
I guess it would be different with a smaller age gap.

[BertieBotts]

A good idea is to use an app or just a notebook and pen to write down what she's doing naturally over the course of a week or two and see if she already has a rough pattern. Then you can manipulate that to your advantage by making small changes.

Another approach is a formula based routine like the Baby Whisperer "Eat, Activity, Sleep, You time" EASY routine. So you just always follow a feed with an activity and then a nap.

I didn't really have a routine until DS was on 3 meals a day because it just seemed pointless but he was good at sleeping whenever, wherever.

[Tumtitum]

One routine we've actually managed to master to some extent now is a nap/bedtime in her cot. Sometimes anyway.... If she sleeps she sleeps longest in there, but she will still protest very vocally sometimes and resist to the point where I just have to abandon the nap! It's just so difficult to pre empt anything eg timings for going out. The amount of times I've had to wake her for a nap or drag her out when she's due a nap, then I feel really bad and as if I'm preventing her from developing her own routine !! I know some mums, including my SIL, who will make sure they are at home at certain times of the day or for all naps, but I think I'd go crazy if I did

[PumpkinPi84]

I worried about this so much but it was so needless. Once your baby has fewer naps, the day will have a more predictable shape. My DS dropped to two naps around eight months and everything has been so much easier and more enjoyable since. My advice would be to continue focusing on awake time between naps (to help pre-empt tiredness) and just accept the exact times will change. Also my son would only nap in the pram for ages, I walked miles! He's now 11 months and naps happily in his cot. It will all get easier with time, I know it's hard to believe when you're in the middle of it!

[underrugsswept]

Mine fell into his own routine naturally around 5 months. I wouldn't force it, it'll happen.

[Tumtitum]

I'm simultaneously dreading having two (we want to have another probably in the next 18 months) but also thinking I'll be far too busy to care! 😆

[Laquila]

This is an interesting thread. Can I ask how many of the above posters also have an older child? I'm only asking as I have a 2.10yr old who, God love him, makes it pretty tricky to maintain any sort of routine for my 4.5mth old, and also second time around, a routine at this stage is pretty far down my list of priorities! Interested to read other people's experiences though.

[Tumtitum]

I'm starting to give up on the idea of a routine until little madam decides it's time herself! I've been trying the bed at 7, up at 7 thing for weeks now and it's not made any difference. The last two nights she's been up and down like a yo yo and I've been so tired that when she's finally fallen back asleep in bed with me I've let her sleep until 9am :/ naps have been awful the last two days (1hour or less total) so ive ended up starting bedtime early.
I'm lucky in that she's not grizzly when she's tired, but by the end of the day she's knackered, red eyes, rubbing at her face, and I'm sure this contributes to her waking up a lot in the night :( oh well will just have to keep trying I guess!
Thanks everyone who's posted and sorry for the slow response, I find it hard to type on my phone and seem to spend most of my time trying to coax a certain baby into having a sleep! ;)

[ODog]

I prefer a rhythm to your day rather than a schedule or routine. I have forgotten how many naps/feeds an average 5mo has but something like this could work.

Wake up
Bottle
Breakfast (for you and baby once weaning starts)
Nap
Get ready for day
Out to an activity/shopping/walk/park
Nap
Lunch
Play/potter/do jobs at home/pop out again
Nap
Dinner
Bath
Bed

No set times and it can be flexible to suit different days. Naps can be at home/in car/pram/sling whatever.

I do similar with a 2yo and a newborn. Just have a normal rythmn and you will probably find a sleep pattern naturally emerges.

[Kiwiinkits]

One way to start is to always get her into bed at night at 7, and never let her sleep beyond 7 in the morning. Start by getting your beginnings and endings right and the rest will fall into place. Always do bedtime the exact same way. ie dinner, bath, boob/bottle then bed.

At five months I would expect 7am feed, 9 ish nap, 10.30am feed, 12 ish nap, 2.30pm ish feed, 4.30pm short nap, 6pm feed, bath, feed-to-sleep for 7pm bed.

[ZZZZ1111]

Hi,

I also have an almost five month old. We have had a bedtime routine for a while now, which consists of-
5pm bath, followed by story, feed, bed (aiming for 6pm bedtime)

We have only just been getting into a napping routine over the past few weeks. We also have the overtiredness problem like you. My son doesn't display any tiredness signals until he gets "shouty" which is probably when he is overtired. Set nap times wouldn't work for us as he wakes up at varying times in the morning (6-7am) and naps themselves can last for variable amounts of time.

Due to my concern over him becoming overtired, I aim to have him napping 2 hours after he last woke. It ends up being similarish times each day, but not exactly. For example-
Yesterday-
Woke at 6am
Nap at 8am and woke at 845
Nap at 11-12
Nap at 215-440 (broken)
Bed at 6

Today he woke at 645 so I put him down for his first nap at 830.

Naps are either in the pram top, on me (we get a longer nap that way), or in car.

I either just put him in the pram top and put dummy in until he stops fussing and sleeps (can take up to 20 mins) or I rock him and put up with him shouting and squirming for up to 20 mins.

Hope that helps.