What are your Parenting Flashpoints?

[NotQuiteCockney]

What makes you furious with your kids? Do you think any of your flashpoints are ok? Are there ones you're trying to fix?

I'll go first - I have two big flashpoints. I cannot stand cruelty to animals, of any sort. I'm keeping this flashpoint. I also completely lose it when DS1 cries with frustration, but I'm trying to fix that one (see other thread).

[edam]

1. Ignoring me when I speak to him. REALLY makes me cross.

1. Badgering me - when I'm in the middle of doing something for him asking me to do something else and then something else and then something else. That usually ends up me snapping. I do try not to but this morning ended up really shouting at him.

[quanglewangle]

Refusing to repeat something if I didn't hear what was said the second time.
Then saying wearily that it wasn't important.
That is soooo rude!!!! Don't say it in the first place if it isn't worth repeating.
And he has got it from his father.
I was brought up better than that - when I did the same thing with hard of hearing grandparents and father I was told in no uncertain terms that it wasn't on. But I have never convinced dh of that and now ds does it.

[Charleesunnysunsun]

I cant stand ds going

'eh eh eh eh eh' whilst pulling at my trousers pointing at things that he knows the words for.

Also cruelty to animals.

[smoggie]

arsing around at mealtimes - or the charming 'yak I hate that' when the plate is presented before ds1. Both ds's have allergies and it takes me a long time to think about/prepare/cook meals and it's v hard not to take it personally when I've slaved over a nutritious, homecooked meal for it to he refused.
I try so hard not to let it show, but I'm human and sometimes it's just like lighting the blue touchpaper.

I don't use the telephone much when the boys are around, and actively callscreen if I know it's not important, but there are times when I just have to speak to people and of course this is the precise moment when ds1 decides to pick a fight with ds2/scream, nag incessantly about something. It just makes my blood boil.

[harpsichordcarrion]

pulling my clothes does irritate me beyond all reason I must admit, especially as I am usually wearing a skirt so it means exposing my pants
but the real flashpoint is being rude or offhand with adults in a way that hurts their feelings e.g. refusing to say hello or goodbye to grandma. (I have given up asking her to kiss grandma, that ain't never going to happen)

[TiggernPooh2]

ohh, sounds like I have got lots of fun to come!!

ds is 13 months and our flashpoint is pulling my hair, not the top bit that does not hurt very much but the sides or back which REALLY hurts.

Also coming up to me for a big hug and biting my shoulder or arm, OUCH!!

Put him down and ignore him, tell him its not nice and hurts mummy but still continues. Will he grow out of this or any suggestions.

I try hard not to shout but its hard especially when in pain, lol.

[misstimms]

suddenly I feel completly normal! Mine are ds (2.9) hitting dd (3mths), climbing on me whilst trying to breastfeed and drinking the bath water. Sooo glad others find this irritating! Hitting thing getting me down actually, nothing seems to resolving it...

[cryptmonkey]

Ds1 and ds2 runnning aroung on the landing when they are SUPPOSED TO BE IN BED!!!!
ds3 ignoring the dinner I have put in front of him and pointing at something which he can't have.
ds3 insisting on mixing his drink into his food turning it into inedible slush
Ds2 every night coming back downstairs to get his teddy instead of remembering to bring it up with him at bedtime.
Ds1 losing his pencil case again
Ds1 losing his lunchbox again
Ds1 losing his coat again.
Ds1 and ds2 not putting their shoes on till the last minute before we leave the house.
God, I am a narky cow!

[Snowstorm]

Sorry to side-step on this thread but ... DD2 (2 years 8 months) is a screamer - glass shatteringly high pitched, it's awful - am at a loss as to how to stop her from doing this, nothing has worked so far ... anybody got any success stories?

[Snowstorm]

Oops ... sorry ... killed the thread

[cryptmonkey]

Sorry Snowstorm, but if you find out about the screaming cure, let me know, won't you? Ds3 is doing this at the moment!

[TinyGang]

Well there was this infamous cure a few years ago.

Never tried it, but I think this one went down in mn hall of fame and gets mentioned now and again.

[caterpiller]

MEALTIMES. Seems to be the cue for bad behviour. I hate everything about them actually: slow eating; picking out 'fat' or the grey bits in salmon etc ; touching their clothes with their foody hands; turning away; EVERYTHING
Also hate fighting /winding up

[Bexc]

my parenting flashpoints have to be when my dd doesnt listen and wants to play instead of learn, she wont read as she finds it boring and evry time i try to make it fun for her she gets over giddy!!

Also when she's been naughty and i send her to her room and she has to stand and shout back at me always having to have the last word.....lol

She's only 6!!!

[FillyjonkthePumpkinEater]

aaaargh anythin involving my glasses.

they are both fascinated by them, but they are mine fgs, I need them.

also hate being jumped on from behind-ds does it and pulls on my neck-don't like that.

and being excessively whingy and clingy whem I am trying to get dinner on.

[curlew]

That completely BRAINLESS look they get on their faces when watching television.

[kittythescarygoblin]

Screaming, whining and moaning ;(

[jellybrainsalloverthewall]

ds (26m) has started to tunnel himself between my legs - charging at me from behind - he did it when I was carrying dd (6m) and i nearly fell - v annoyed when he does that.

I used to get v angry about ds not eating freshly cooked meals i lovingly prepared but have decided to lighten up and play the long game - dd is a very good eater despite only 3 weeks of experience and her presence at the dinner table eating and getting lots of praise is more effective incentive for ds than any ranting and raving from me!

I do get v annoyed with ds when he efuses to cooperate with us when we are trying to go out - i hate chasing him round the house to get his socks on ... but i know getting angyr is pointless so if i lose it i feel v guilty,same as when I get angry with dd for crying and wanting to feed all day as she is teething. Sometimes i have to remind myself i am human and i am not going to be the perfect earth mother all the time - and that i need a couple of me hours

[canadianmum]

Getting me wet - on purpose - when they are having their bath

[ambercat]

mealtimes without a doubt, ds1 takes forever to eat atiny amount and then complains of feeling hungry 10 mins later.

Also telling them to do something at least 10 times before they listen, drives me mad and i end up screaming at them to do it.

[nulnulcat]

mealtimes, the spending hours trying to get ready to go anywhere, the insisting on walking everyhere then 5 minutes later wanting carrying and what really winds me up is the turning into the child from hell as soon as we enter a supermarket! i end up shrieking at her like a fishwife!!

[babe1]

I wondered what 'parenting flashpoints'meant. Now I've read the thread - floodgates alert!!! The one that drives me really flipping mad is the constant mess they make of the house! It's unbelievable just how much chaos can be created by three kids under 11, the younger two being the main culprits. Our sofa drives me mad, the seat cushions slide out easily, but it's okay if you just get on and off the sofa like a 'normal' person. Why do the kids have to slide on and off the bloody sofa? Also, we have throws on it, and they just end up in a heap. I tell you, if I had a quid for every time I've put that sofa back straight, I'd be able to buy every Mumsnet member a pint! The sofa thing really is a flashpoint for me. Oh, and things like empty yogurt pots discarded in the lounge, banana skins discarded wherever - and why can't they flush the bloody toilet?!! Grrr!! DH and me went for a very rare night out on Saturday night and when we came in (pissed) well, I was, I honestly thought we'd been burgled!! Our bedroom was TRASHED. I got into bed, felt something hard under my bum - now now ladies - had a fumble about and pulled out a bloody recorder!

I did warn you about the floodgates

[duvet]

Yep disobedience is mine, justifiably in my opinion. I am careful to count to ten tho before I react.

Mealtimes too, my dd1 3.6 has just started to say when I tell her dinner's ready - "is it going to be a nice dinner?" in a whinge voice. How infuriating and yes then eats some then 10 mins later says I'm hungry mummy, despite my consistency in never giving in. It's eat your lunch or there's nothing else! It will pay off eventually, I've got to say something good too tho, in supermarket at checkout other day, she asked for chocolate, I said no, and she just accepted that so beautifully.... I felt so guilty! But managed not to back down, aah it does pay off you see.

[berrycherry]

just skimmed this - I lost the plot this morning (as mentioned on another thread)after my dd's were playing up in the car.
saw the link about the jug of water - I don't lose it often (honest) but when dd1 was 4 and dd2 was 3, I threw a cup of cold water over dd1, it stopped the whining so had the desired effect, but I was mortified! i do not slap EVER, but this was pretty awful at the time...my dd's actually laugh about this one isolated incident, and after seeing the link on this thread, I am relieved I am not alone!

[ZacharyZoo]

Omigod don't get me started... whingeing like only girls can, squabbling, putting "ya" on the end of their names ie Evie, becomes "Evieya" when her sister is whingeing at her, leaving wet bath towels all over the bedroom, using my make up, perfume, hair stuff, pyjamas without ever asking me, winding each other up... oh and the temperature in the house is either boiling or freezing, they are only ever starving or can't eat another crumb, nothing in between. DS is only six months old, so i'm sure he will have his own flashpoints, but my only experience at the moment is two girls (12 and 9), i never had sister so i don't have any experience of the relationship, but they spend the every waking hour winding each other up... drives me potty!!