Desperate, i need help with my newborn

[Pastmyduedate0208]

He is an excessive crier. I have looked up Colic and excessive crying, which states more than three hours a day three days a week, usually starting in the evening.
He follows a daily pattern of wakefulness between 6am to 6pm and this equates to 12 hours continual crying during this period of the day. Far more than three hours per day and also it's every day the same.

He is 2 weeks and 2 days and I started to notice this pattern around 6 days old.

So I am supposed to feed on demand, I have lost the ability to tell when he is crying for food or something else because he cries ALL the time. He cries for food, so I put him to breast, then he even cries while he on my breast, he'll eventually seem done, I'll burp and cuddle him, he'll seem restful so I'll try putting him down or even just let him stay on me, but 20 minutes later he'll be screaming again. so I'll be in mental anguish do I put him back on my breast? Do I cuddle him? I try everything. I can take him out in the pram, but he does not last outside more than an hour before wailing inconsolably. My partner is amazing and often takes him off me to rock/sooth etc but eventually things get too much and i take him back to feed as nothing else will sooth him.
It is continual crying unless he is on my breast. I am not exaggerating.

I had a traumatic birth with a very long labour 16 hours and forceps were used. I have come across links to forceps/diff birth and excessive crying and autism.

I think my baby might have brain damage. Please help what do I do.

[Karasea]

Silent reflux sounds like a reasonable bet as does CMPI especially if either you or dh has allergies.

Colic just means crying we never sorted...can be normal but I bet there are lots of missed reflux/cmpi in that group.

Yellow poo? If yes not a lactose overload problem.

For sleep I would try a wrap sling, feed, feed then go for a walk...most babies settle better in a wrap type sling or an ergo if you like a more structured sling than they do elsewhere.

Get to a baby cafe or bf group, get latch checked but get sympathy, hot tea a do someone else to give your baby a cuddle for five mins.

Speak to your hv about your concerns...your baby is not likely to have brain damage honestly.

[InFrance2014]

Seconding the tiredness as a cause. If there is barely any napping during the day, a 2 week old will be exhausted very fast (like within 2/3 hours), and then quickly trip into over-tired, which makes napping even harder, and can result in lots of crying.
2 weeks is a little young for a fixed routine maybe, but you can just try and create lots of situations that will promote sleep: dark cosy rooms, carry in sling, being danced to music can work well too. Does the baby fall asleep when feeding? If so, that's such a gift, take advantage of it- feed lying down if you can and then you can both nap afterwards. You don't necessarily need to burp every time, if the baby has fallen asleep, let them sleep.

Also, your milk supply won't yet be established, so you may well need to essentially be either feeding or having the baby sleep on you pretty much all the time. It's tough but it does improve.
Digestion can be hard work for newborns, some post-feed crying may be discomfort that even burping won't sort out, and will improve as they grow older.
Possibly you may have a strong let-down, which could cause gulping- if you jet a lot of milk, try to manually express a bit first to take the deluge away.
I would phone La Leche League for advice on the feeding aspect if you need support.
Good luck.

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

Do you have a bouncer? if newborn ds gets hysterical, the trick we have found is to stick him in the boucer chair and bounce with a foot until he settles. We are quite vigorous with it, but he settles after a few mins crying abd often then dozes over so we do soft bouncing then to keep him asleep.

[birchwoods]

I don't have my own baby yet so can't give any qualified advice, but my SIL and her best friend both had difficult births with ventouse and forceps and both babies cried a lot and wouldn't settle. They both went to a cranial osteopath and baby massage/physio and it worked wonders for both. Apparently babies' heads can hurt for weeks after forceps.

[BertieBotts]

Definitely look into cranial osteopathy. I doubt your baby is brain damaged but sometimes a difficult birth can give them a headache. Cranial osteopathy sorts this out and works miracles.

Be careful with BF advice - block feeding for example can reduce supply although it is recommended in certain situations. If you're changing anything about BF get expert advice. I don't think you're doing anything wrong with feeding, though.

I would try cutting out dairy if it's not going to be a massive undertaking for you to do so. If it's going to cause a lot more stress then don't, but if you reasonably can manage, this caused the most dramatic turnaround in friends' experience.

[Enjoyingmycoffee1981]

Oven what you have said in this thread, I would say confidently that over tiredness is a key factor. That age? Four hours of sleep a day. So if he sleeps when you walk, then you need to walk. This will get better, honestly

[GemmaPuddledDuck]

If reflux then you need to hold upright for at least 30mins, know it's tough but better than baby screaming.

[mrsmugoo]

Sounds like you need to just snuggle up with him and let him sleep on you - newborns have a evolutionary need to be close to their mother and hate being put down. Google the 4th trimester.

It gets easier x

[ohdearitshappeningtome]

If he's over tired then it's best to learn the queues that he's sleepy and try and get him to sleep then!

Does he like a warm bath?

Skin to skin ?

[stargirl1701]

The silent reflux was what made DD1 overtired. She was in so much pain she couldn't sleep. She slept about 10 mins in every 8 hours. The longest sleep she did was 40 minutes. She was in agony.

Having had DD2 who is 'normal', I can now see how ill DD1 was. I literally cannot believe how much a newborn baby sleeps. My husbacd and I still haven't adjusted and she's now 4 months old

[WhyOWhyWouldYou]

pomme well he makes these panting noises and these noises like yes gulping and regurgitating but nothing actually coming up.
i try to kerp him upright fpr 10 mins after feeds when i can

That happening after feeds is silent reflux (can also be linked to cmpi). That stopping baby sleeping will also cause over tiredness.

You need to keep him upright for a lot longer than 10mins after a feed - I recommend a sling/carrier that holds him upright. That way he can sleep upright on you but you can still do other things. Honestly its the only way I survived having a severe silent reflux baby.

Also get him medication for it from gp - infant gaviscon is the starting point, then they can try ranitidine. You can also look at whether it could be a symptom of cmpi.

[waterrat]

Poor you this sounds exhausting

At 2 weeks I would expect a baby to sleep more than they are awake - including lots of daytime sleep

I would suggest you get a along an a dummy - feed baby up then put in sling with dummy or put into Moses basket with your hand on him and get him to sleep however you can

Both my babies cried like this until I realised they were desperate to sleep - I gave a dummy after feeding and they were asleep literally immediately ... I breastfed both on demand for several months so definitely do not worry about supply issues or nipple confusion

Obviously dummy should not be used to space feeds too far - but to settle baby once thy have eaten

[Eminado]

Silent reflux!!

Colief

Cranial osteopath

[QTPie]

Hi

Haven't read the whole thread,but suggest a "cranial osteopath".

If it was a traumatic birth with forceps, then there could still be some pressure on the brain. Cranial osteopathy incredibly gently manipulates the skull plated to remove pressure on the brain. May take a couple of sessions.

Hope it settles very soon. Hang in there c

[Lucypearl]

Hi
Oh poor you, I know how awful it is to have a baby that screams and screams, it's utterly draining and heartbreaking and it's so hard to understand why other people seem to be having such a relatively easy time! I wouldn't jump to any too drastic conclusions though. As hard as it is to deal with it doesn't necessarily mean there is anything seriously wrong with your baby, so don't add to your stress by thinking that.

I would second MrsCaptainReynolds with her suggestions of why your baby might be crying like this. Both my DDs were extremely unsettled babies, I too had long traumatic births, but whether or not that was anything to do with it I'll never know. With DD2, now just turned 1, I did try a cranial osteopath when she was about 6 wks old. I also tried cutting out dairy for a bit as often my baby just got more upset if I tried to feed her in the evening. I honestly don't know if either of those things helped or if she just eventually grew out of it (at about 10-12 wks) but anything within reason is worth a try. Good luck and hang on in there xx

[Redling]

Is say try and get him to sleep more first to rule out plain overtiredness, he does seem to sleep very little in the day from what you say. My 4 month a has a melt down if he doesn't sleep every 2 hours! When he was 2 weeks he was asleep far more than awake. He only slept being held so try and just hold him as much as possible, white noise, swaddled, pram walk, sling etc as people have mentioned. The other things could be a factor in making him unable to sleep but try first to get home to sleep more and see what happens. Don't let him be awake longer than an hour before sleeping again. Honestly I was so shocked to see what a mess DS could be in without proper sleep, he screamed like he was in pain and was inconsable. Do absolutely whatever it takes to make him sleep, I used to sit with him asleep with me on the sofa for hours and hours because 'putting them down' nearly always wakes up a newborn, they really really want to be held.

[Thegandernotthegoose]

You say your baby cries after feeding. My baby did too. He cried a lot full stop. He had reflux and an intolerance of milk protein. Your gp should be able to give you meds to try for reflux. You could also ask to try a hypo allergic formula. Ours is called nutramigen. If you think it might be a food intolerance the most likely suspects are dairy. Eggs and soya. My son was several months old before we tried him with the formula and as he was not used to a bottle we couldn't get him to take it so I needed to cut all those foods out of my diet. Does your son vomit a lot too? That would make the cause of the crying more likely to be reflux or allergy.
Anyway, if you at all think it might be a food allergy/ intolerance if I were you I would try to get him to take a bottle of hypo allergic formula now. Or just to get used to taking a bottle of breast milk so it is easier to transfer him later. I had a very trying time with a baby who became terrified of eating, and was torn between hunger and fear of the pain when eating, who snack fed, who woke 5-7 times a night and I needed to hold him upright for 20 to 30 mins after each feed and who generally became anxious and fearful. We may have all been spared some of that if he had been able to take a bottle of special formula.
On the plus side he is now a lovely, happy, delightful toddler!
I had a friend with a baby who cried constantly too, she was also a forceps delivery. She is a lovely toddler now too.
It is tough to have a baby who cries so much. But it does get better with time. Hang in there.