Elderly couple in street said I am a bad mum

[saltnpepa]

I feel like absolute crap. I was with my toddler and 7 year old. The 7 year old had just vomited in a cafe and we were trying to get back to the car as quickly as possible so we were moving really quickly along the street. My toddler was screaming and creating a big fuss about having to go in the buggy while the other one stood there looking green and then the toddler made a bolt for it. I picked him up in a really fast swoop and put him down very very firmly in the buggy, I didn't throw him in but I put him in really firm so I could get the straps on in one move. I then pushed the buggy at my husband while I scooped up the green child and marched off towards the car. An elderly couple went oooh when I put the toddler in the buggy and as I marched off I could hear them saying "Did you see that? She was very rough, oh and look baby is crying etc."

We're all home now and sick finished and kids asleep but I feel like crap that someone in the street said I was being a crap mum. I wish they could have seen the whole story but if they just saw that, me putting him hard in the buggy they would have thought I was just in a temper and although I was stressed and exasperated with him I just wanted to get the sick one in the car. Am I awful?

[sezamcgregor]

I know it's hard, but do try to ignore it.

I was piggybacking DS on the way home last week, singing merrily, skipping etc - woman outside her house told me "don't give up your day job!" I felt sad for days (I love to sing and it isn't a busy street, she's the only person that I saw for 500m!)

Yesterday, we saw her again "Your the mum that sings aren't you?" She says "well keep doing it, you have a lovely voice" lol

According to this rule, the next time you see those oldies, after they've had some time to remember what it was like when they had small children, they'll be telling you what a great job you're doing. In fact, I'd not be surprised if Doris hadn't pointed out to her friend Mavis what total little fuckers their children were at that age just as you drove away....

[zoemaguire]

There was a guardian article the other week about intervening if you think somebody is mistreating their child in public. The theory is fine but in practice it's going to lead to more self-righteous busybodies making judgements when they don't have the first clue as to what was going on. My dm, lovely but with a tendency to hoist her judgypants for no good reason, thought fit to tell me about the article in reference to a woman in a cafe who she thought was 'shrieking' at her toddler, and how dreadful it was how some people speak to their kids. Dm hadnt noted v salient fact that the woman in question was deaf, and using her normal speaking voice. I was furious on woman's behalf, though of course ironically in the circs she wouldn't have heard my dm's 100db stage whisper.

[magicalmrmistofelees]

Did they actually say you were a 'bad mum'?

[LastOneDancing]

Did you see that thread a few days ago about old folk (mums in particular) and their embarrassing and inappropriate comments made at deafening levels?
Everyone in it was morto about the judgy rudeness of their older relative.

Brush it off OP. it's a reflection on them, not you.

[mummyxtwo]

I imagine I have caused passersby similar cause for gossip / judgement with my 2. Show me a mum with young children who hasn't had to forcibly wrestle a child into a pushchair /pin them down with one knee whilst strapping screaming fighting child in and I'll show you my One Direction memorabilia. I understand it making you feel crap but they judged unfairly and you shouldn't feel bad about it. Have a and forget them!

[GingerDoodle]

I bloody hate interfering busy bodies and in my experience its usually been old people. I got accused of not looking across the road - i have reactions glasses ffs!!

I've also 'slam dunked' my mini in to her buggy when she's throwing a stop - gets the job done - no one else's business!!