Evaluate my baby's day

[marshmallow2468]

Good evening,

I've been having a few issues with DS, wondering if you'd be so kind as to look at an average day for us, help me find solutions! 12 week old DS is breastfed, and vaguely in a feeding routine, one that was led by him rather than following a book. He just seems to have got more difficult the last week or two.

6.45am wake up, nappy change
7.00 feed
8.45ish nap (approx 1 hour)
10.00am feed if awake, otherwise feed when he wakes, usually by 10.30
11.30-12.00 nap starts (1hr approx)
1pm feed if awake, or wait to wake and feed then, usually by 1.30
Afternoon he might nap for half an hour max
4pm & 6pm feed
6.30pm inconsolable screaming starts
8.00pm feed, falls asleep on me
10.00pm into sleeping bag, offer another feed, sometimes takes it, sometimes not
10.30pm bed

I'm usually up with him once overnight for a feed. In between the times above he usually plays on play gym, sits in bouncy chair etc. Bath happens before 8pm feed twice a week.

The problems I'm having are the evening crying, becoming more fussy at feeding, and lack of afternoon nap, which I suspect contributes to evening crying. I can read his tired cues in the morning, but they don't happen in the afternoon. I worry he's not sleeping enough. The evening crying is really getting to DH, and he now seems scared of his son.

If you've read all this, thank you! I'm just feeling a bit insecure about my parenting skills right now.

[MrsMangoBiscuit]

It sounds like you're doing a great job.

With DD, she has a longer lunch time nap, 2 hours not 1. Which meant I had time to myself for a bit, and (with a 45min/1hr afternoon nap) she'd go to bed at 7 with no problems. It also meant that when she was a bit older, bedtime wasn't messed up by her sleeping too long in the afternoon.

As for the weaning discussion, we aimed to stick to milk for 6 months, it didn't happen. Health visitor and GP both suggested weaning early as we were having to give 2 bottles. DD was draining 12oz a feed. She still loves her food, hollow legs! Will again be trying to stick to milk for 6M when DC2 arrives, but if I get told to wean early, I will. I sure won't be doing it on a whim though.

[ppeatfruit]

Thanks badgerina Research is often not that amazing though you only have to read Ben Goldacre's book to know that.

The general health of the populations of countries who now eat a 'western diet' is bad isn't it? I follow my Blood Type by Dr Peter D'Adamo and am the only one I know who is wholly healthy yet the medics pay no attention to it at all.

[Badgerina]

It is an interesting discussion I don't think I would call this feeding issue a "fashion" though - seems flippant, given the research that has gone into it.

I can understand not holding too much faith in the medics, but I wouldn't want to throw the baby out with the bath water. As it were Afterall medical health organisations do get a lot right, and are continually reviewing their findings, developing their research over many, many years.

You might find Gabrielle Palmer's small book "Complementary Feeding: Nutrition, culture and politics", quite interesting. She looks at worldwide trends in infant nutrition and how that has developed. It's a great read.

In terms of infant gut health this article is informative:

www.thealphaparent.com/2011/07/virgin-gut-note-for-parents.html?m=1

As is this one, from the ubiquitous KellyMom site:

kellymom.com/nutrition/starting-solids/delay-solids/

[ppeatfruit]

It's an interesting discussion because the fashions in child rearing and feeding change a lot. We can agree to differ because as I said the people who were weaned at 3 months would all be ill and the others wouldn't be would they. I suppose you can guess that I don't hold a great store in the medics and their research which is often not esp. good or relevant.

AFAICS what applies to a formula fed baby in water short Africa wouldn't apply to a BF baby in Sweden!!

[Badgerina]

Ok. You might want to inform the NHS, and WHO of your findings though. Both these respected medical organisations recommend giving only milk (breast or formula) for the first 6 months. I guess they do this for a reason, rather than just "it worked with my babies"?

This has turned into a "my way is the right way" conversation, which I really don't want to get into.

You made your choices with your babies. Others may not choose the same, given the most recent findings and recommendations. That's the whole point of discussing the recommendations here, so that other mothers can make informed decisions based on up to date research.

[ppeatfruit]

I agree but how do mums who are working or have other DCs to look after or both manage to purely BF a starving 6 month old? I was offering mine organic whole rice or fruit not denatured cereals. Some babies ARE allergic to formula though there are threads on here about it. It's for calves not humans. The proteins are too large and it doesn't have the correct omegas in it.

What hormone and AB fed meat? Or organic grass fed free range meat? If they can digest that then a bit of fruit isn't going to harm them.

[Badgerina]

Before 6 months, mine have both had hungrier times, but I just breastfed them more, since that boosted my milk supply to their needs. Sure enough, after the hungries, they both grew bigger! They both shoved their fists in their mouths but that is a normal stage where they discover their hands.

Breast milk is far, far nutritionally superior to any solid food before 1 year old. Formula is too infact.

Gut issues aside, the nutrition a baby gets from breast milk or formula is much more tailored to their needs (good fats and proteins) than the empty calories offered by baby rice and other infant cereals.

Meat is a perfectly suitable and beneficial first food. It is high in iron and other nutrients that most babies tend to need more of at around the middle of the first year. 6 month old babies can pick up a piece of cooked steak and suck out the juices.

My youngest love it, and chicken. Just not before 6 months, and only if they feed themselves.

[ppeatfruit]

Well doctors did research and found that people with lung cancer were far more likely to have smoked. Very few smokers get away without emphysema or whatever. I'd like to see the research; after all midwives and doctors still don't seem to know much about normal nutrition let alone NB nutrition. A lot of babies get ill from FF and can be allergic to BM so just late weaning doesn't seem the be all and end all to me.

And as I said before I'm not advocating meat and 2 veg at 3 months .

[CreatureRetorts]

Well you're wrong. The research shows you're wrong.

It's like smoking - many people thought it was fine. Many people got away with smoking and not getting cancer. It doesn't change the fact that it is bad for your health.

I get annoyed at people who don't bother to check the latest advice and assume it's some sort of conspiracy. Ridiculous.

[jkklpu]

When he screams at 6.30, do you offer him a feed? Mine always used to cluster feed for most of the evening so he could be hungry/needing this comfort. He's still very small.

[ppeatfruit]

creature I have no damage to my gut neither have any of the friends of my DCs etc. etc. I'm not talking giving babies mincemeat FGS.

BTW I must have hit a nerve there why the insults? totally unnecessary. its nice to be open minded isn't it? The whole of the western world would have problems with their gut if that was the case because the 'advice' has changed quite recently. I have been teaching EYs and didn't notice any improvement in their health than when my DCs were little. In fact probably worse.

Badgerina I BF till mine were nearly 2 but they started on mixed BM and rice or fruit when they were hungry what do you do now when they get hungry then?

[Badgerina]

Ppeat I know things were different when your children were babies, but as I said earlier, we know so much more about how the gut develops and matures, than we did 20 odd years ago.

My mum started me on solids at 3 months and I was totally weaned off milk and onto 3 meals a day at 6 months! She did this with the best knowledge and advice she had at the time.

We all do.

[Badgerina]

Agreed ^^ He's a lucky chap

[marshmallow2468]

Don't worry, no intentions of even giving up breastfeeding just yet, let alone giving solid food. I don't think it would be of any benefit anyway. My issues are more to do with napping and bedtime I think.

The last couple of days he's napped really well, gone to bed earlier and has slept very well overnight. And been a little less moody in the evenings! Thanks for all your comments and reassurances. I was having a bit of a stressful week but feel much better now and think I'm doing a half decent job.

[CreatureRetorts]

No ppeat you talk bollocks.

Weaning before 17 weeks has shown to cause damage to babies' guts.

[MortifiedAdams]

ppeat of course he would take it from you. A three year ild would drink an alchopop if invited to - it doesnt mean they should

[TwentyTinyToes]

Op, i would read the current weaning guidelines and make an informed choice (as i am sure you will ) I weaned my ds at 6 months and he pretty much had what we had from the start, ironically i do more blending now to hide veg in pasta sauce than when weaning.

[ppeatfruit]

DS sat in his soft little chair and I gave him some mashed fruit with a soft shape spoon and he ate it! if he hadn't wanted it he wouldn't have would he?

BTW he slept better after it(he didn't scream because he wasn't a screamy baby before BTW just shoved his fists in his mouth and moped which was a brand new thing). The not weaning at 3 months thing is due to some person equating having dirty water in 3rd world countries to giving out 'advice' as being for everyone. All babies are different I didn't wean DD1 till she was 5 months 'cos she wasn't hungry.

[lilystem]

My ds is 12 wks too - I'm pretty sure we had a growth spurt last wk as we had some v fussy evenings but this wk seem to be so much better.

How do these people who weaned at 12 wks do it? My ds has only just Sussex holding his head up, I can't imagine he'd be able to take food!

[ppeatfruit]

If they're hungry and you can't BF ALL the time is it kinder to let them starve or give them formula?

[MortifiedAdams]

Please dont wean him at 12wks. People never used to strap their kids in, in the car. Doesnt make it right.

[ppeatfruit]

Badgerina a bit of fruit is not going to harm him. If formula is supposed to be okay for baby's guts then surely mashed pear isn't going to harm him? My 3 were weaned at 3 months and all have fine guts as do I !!

[Badgerina]

BTW - Please don't give him solids. His gut won't be mature enough for anything like that for about another 12-14 weeks. I know it's what used to be recommended, but it really isn't anymore. We're lucky that we know so much more about the development of the gut, than we used to.

[Badgerina]

He sounds like he's going through a developmental stage. Both my DSs have had fussy times in the evenings. I found carrying them in a sling in the hours leading up to their typical fussy time, really helped.