I'm 34 in May, have ds 2 and dd 7 months(19 months apart). I always thought I'd have three children (am one of three myself) but am now having doubts after just seeing the light at the end of the 'we're going to get divorced' tunnel stage of having a really small baby around (or is that just me.....). I'm also still knackered as dd is only just sleeping through, most of the time, and physically have found I've not really bounced back this time, not surprisingly. I'm really not sure about having another baby in a couple of years as I'll be 36 but don't want to regret the decision further down the road. dh says he'd rather have a marriage and two children than a divorce and three. Anyone been there done that and what did you decide? Are you still happy with the decision?
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Anyone with two children torn between stopping or having a third?
Em32 · 12/04/2006 13:47
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I have 3! my auntie did 'the needle test' on me when i was 14 and every time she did it it always came back as me having boy, boy, girl! so i kinda took from then on that i would have 3 kids one day i also had my palms read when i was 19 and she also said would have boy, boy, girl, and when i was 21 i had a boy, and 2.5 years later i had another boy and 2.5 years later i had my girl!! (freaky) and i have to say i found going from 2 to 3 harder then from 1 to 2, it is alot of hard work but they are so close in age that i think they are going to have so much fun together, its not until recently when someone asked if i would have any more that it made me think and i must stop now as we simply cant afford anymore 
(plus i dont think my nerves would survive it
) if i had LOADS of money so i cuold get a bit of help with housework i think we would probably have millions
I have 3 boys with a total gap of 10 years.(6 between 1 and 2,and then 4 between 2 and 3)
No planning at all,just when they turned up.
I just felt someone was missing when I had 2 and although I didnt fancy my chances of conceiving anyway(see gaps!)I just KNEW I would regret it later if I didnt try.
As soon as he was born it was like"Ah,here you are,you're who I was waiting for!" and I just knew 3 was the right number for us.Same as I have friends who know that 1,2,3,or 4 is right for them too.
The financial side is hard but no worse than going from 1 to 2.The eldest 2 fighting is driving me up the wall and even though they were 10 and 4 when DS3 arrived those first few months are a blur of chaos and exhaustion.
Cars,bedrooms,holidays and days out are also a consideration...everywhere caters for 2 + 2.(holidays in particular are a nightmare,very few hotels do rooms for 5...but camping is also a possibility!
I just feel 'done' now that we have 3,if that makes sense?
have just spotted this thread. I'm feeling like that. I've always wanted 2 boys, and now i've got 2 boys (4 and 5mths) but now i really want 2 or 3 more 
dps from a big family and has always wanted a big family himself but now he's not too bothered and says he doesn't mind its what i want to do.
3 children means a bigger car, bigger house et etc (let alone mmore!), but i think, well we can worry about that if and when the time comes.
I never wanted to have children after I was 26 (i'm 26), but I'm really sad that i feel that i'm not going to have more children. And i also realised after i'd given away all the clothese ds2 had grown out of that it sort of felt like the end of me having children and that made me quite sad .
I'm still waiting to get my implant done, should be in the next few weeks, but dp said don't do if i don' t want to, but not really sure.
if i thought we would get a bigger house if we had three it would definatley help towards making the decision but a friend of mine was stuck in a 2 bed flat with 1 boy and 2 girls until the youngest girl was almost 3, the boy 8. The council have only just moved her and that was only because her flat flooded 4 months ago so they didnt really have a choice. It still took them until recently to do it though, plus i think the fact she is now expecting no.4 may have helped.
In our flat the boys' room is just about big enough for bunk beds and wardrobes so i cant see another bed/cot fitting in there without it being a very tight squeeze. Also the flat is already over run with the boys things as well as other day to day stuff, there is hardly any storage space so unless the boys agree to get rid of most of their toys and clothes i dont think we would have room for baby things too.
I was thinking about it last night and i think the reason i want three is because I was one of three, my sister had three, my aunty had three pregnancies although one of them were twins so really she has 4 kids, my cousin is pg with her 3rd (all under 3, must be mad). Everyone seems to have 3 children in my family. Before having ds1 I lost a baby at 22 weeks and know that if it had turned out differently I would now have three. Choosing to have ds2 was such an easy decision to make, dh wanted a child of his own, that no matter how many children i had previously we still would have had him so why is this decision so difficult to make. Also the baby I lost was a girl and I think that is why i dont feel complete, I want the chance to have my daughter
Still I am lucky to have two gorgeous healthy boys and keep focusing on that whenever i feel down. Maybe a 3rd baby will come along one day, maybe it wont. I think I should be grateful for what I have got. Maybe in a few years time dh and i will suddenly decide the time is right but if it doesnt i can play the doting grandmother when i am older (at least then you can give them back at night)
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It's a difficult one pebblemum and because we have a choice in these things there is always the worry that we'll make the wrong one. If you have a third (I've got three) it won't be the perfect choice as there will always be extra headaches that naturally come with an extra child. But that's just life and I think it's worth all that for the joy of seeing three together.
It's sounds like accomodation could be your biggest headache. Could the baby go in with the boys for the first year or so? Also would you qualify for a bigger house if you had a third? It sounds to me like you are both up for going for it. Good luck in your decision. I'm almost as old as you will be when ds2 is 18 and I've got a 5,3 and 1 year old .
I have loved reading this thread as i am in the same boat. I have ds1 (nearly 9) and ds2 (2.5yrs). I often think about having another one. I would love to have a girl but wouldnt want to go through the dissapointment of another boy. Dont get me wrong I love the two I have got and have never once regretted having them but I have always dreamt of having a little girl, I have always had such a close relationship with my mum i would love to share that experience with my own little girl, also little boys dont really appreciate the same things us girls do 
.
Every now and again dh will bring up the subject of having another, i think deep down he would like one but just like me he is not 100% sure about it.
On the practical side we live in a 2bed damp riddled council flat (we are trying to move but thats a different thread)so there isnt the space and i hate the thought of my boys living in this let alone another baby, if/when we get a mortage money will be tight, Ds2 is now at a nice age where he is easier to look after ie amuses himself (sometimes)and doesnt need feeding every few hours. When ds2 is 18 we will still only be 44 so plenty if time for dh and I to enjoy oursleves before we get too old. Also after having ds2 i have found it hard to get back in shape and now that after having baby no.3 it will be even harder. Being overweight is not something i enjoy and it gets me down a lot.
On the emotional side I love being pregnant, no morning sickness fairly easy labours although no.3 would probably be totally different to that. Nothing beats the feeling of holding your newborn in your arms and babies are so gorgeous. I already had ds1 when i met dh, hence the big age gap, and I know dh has always wanted 2. He classes ds1 as his own so technically he has got his 2 but I would love another baby with dh, its hard to explain but it would make our relationship feel complete. The excitement you feel when you get that big fat positive when you have been trying to get pg for a while. And dont forget the fun you have while trying
I know that if we do decide on no.3 i dont want to have such a big age gap between ds2 and the new baby but then again we have got so much planned for the next 2years that having a baby between now and then wouldnt be practical. In a way I wish the decision would be taken away from me and the pill would fail, that way we would have to live with it but then again at the beginning of the year i missed a period and had never felt so scared, it was like being 19 again and telling my parents i was pg with ds1. With ds2 we had had a false positive a few months before and after getting our hopes up for nothing we decided to actively try for ds2. I suppose the fact that the scare at the beginning of the year hasnt prompted us to try again should make me realise that a having a baby now just isnt right for us and we obviously both know it. I just dont want to have to face the fact that i may never have another baby. I know that at 28 I still have a few years left to decide but i have always known i dont want a baby after the age of 32, no particular reason just personal preference.
Who would think that deciding how may children to have would be such a difficult decision? Choosing to have 2 children was such an easy one to make compared to this.
This is a subject close to my heart at the moment. Currently 26 weeks pg and dd is nearly 3. I always imagined having 4 or 5 kids but seems like we've 'decided' to stop at two.
Dp would be perfectly happy with two but I am one of two and found it rather dreary. I always wanted to have lots of brothers and sisters and live in a noisy house where things were always going on!
So...the upshot of this is I've been thinking of the pros and cons of having a 3rd and can only really come up with cons:
-Have to go through the BABY stage again.
-Couldn't offer so much financially to 3.
-Every extra baby pushes back my dreams of taking the kids abroad on big holidays like Disneyland, Japan, Hawaii.
-Don't really have space in the house for 3 so would have to move [horror emoticon]
-Would need to get people carrier.
-Terrified of having such dreadful morning sickness again...didn't have any with dd but this pregnancy it was horrendous.
-Like ghosty I REALLY hate being pregnant.
-and finally...I don't really like babies all that much, give me a rampaging toddler any day!
But still all that doesn't stop me wondering whether to go for it again...mind you, I'd leave a gap of about 3 years again so I've at least got time to decide
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