What are your views on home-schooling?

[Littleraysofsunshine]

Just out if interest

[ppeatfruit]

morethan Yes LadyMary to both of your points. I was supply teaching in Primary schools 2 or 3 yrs ago and there were many examples of bullying; one Head specifically was literally like Miss Trunchbull also teachers but mostly and most unpleasantly by quite a few T.As. It's as if the power goes straight to their heads.

[Claireangel7]

I'm considering it for my 9 year old son actually as he's been having trouble with bullies for over a year now. I think if you make sure they interact with other children regularly, it's fine. And as long as the guidance is there. My son is slightly behind with his reading but just lately he's improved because I've been encouraging him to read to our dog. I go out of the room and secret listen in, and his reading is so much better than when he's reading his father or me. Check it out

[ebsln]

My husband home-educated our 3 daughters. The eldest went on to do an OU degree (actually she's on her third, she does them for fun). She also has a job she loves, and is quite well paid. The middle dyslexic one, has just finished her Film Production degree (Upper Second). The 3rd went to 6th form college to do A levels, but unfortunately turned out to have Hypermobility syndrome with attendant fainting, and the college didn't want her back - although she was getting high marks for the work she did do. None of them regrets being home educated. And they are all quite successful in social terms.

[amillionyears]

Can I ask some questions ebsin?
How bright IQ wise is your DH?
Did you go out to work?
Does your eldest work in team work?
Was the reason to HE because of bullying at all?
You dont have to answer any of those questions.

[ebsln]

I have no idea what IQ my husband has. He failed the 11 plus and left school at 16, but I think that was mainly due to the schooling he received. I was out at work. My eldest daughter works very well as part of a team. We chose HE because my husband feels very strongly about the bad effects of schooling, and I was working in a school and didn't like the hierarchy of it. Bullying didn't come into it as they didn't go to any kind of educational institution until they were at least 16. Though I think some of the staff attitudes to my youngest when she started fainting were very negative. She was assumed to be attention-seeking and sent for counselling, which tended to make her feel there was something wrong with her. TBH, getting "excluded" was no bad thing for her. I do think it is a great pity she hasn't been able to pursue her education, as she is very bright, but that has far more to do with her Hyper-Mobility than HE. In fact, if she'd been in school and having to handwrite, it would have set in much earlier, I think.

[exoticfruits]

It is possible to have a very high IQ and fail the 11+, thousands have done.

[amillionyears]

did your eldest DD go down the GCSE, A Level route?
Is that why she entered mainstream education at 16?

[ebsln]

The eldest had a go at GCSEs, but found it too boring. She declared she was going to be awriter so she didn't need qualifications. At 18 she started the OU degree and did it in 3 years, just like a regular degree. She found tutorials a bit trying as she was often much brighter then the rest of the group. The other two both did a few GCSEs (and the younger one the BTEC in IT). The dyslexic one decoded she wanted to learn to cook, so she went into FE. The course was pretty useless TBH, bjt she got an award as Best Student, which did her confidence good. She went to another college and did A levels, before going to uni. The youngest wanted to do A levels and at the time you could only do those at an institution. (When she was doing History GCSE, she had problems because the teacher said she was writing A level essays not ones for GCSE.) And then as I said it all went pear-shaped.

[ebsln]

Well, yes, I know not passing 11 plus means very little. I just wanted to indicate that having a high educational level was not necessary. He was offered a place at the Slade when he was 16, on the basis of his portfolio, but his parents wouldn't support him through the course. I guess if any of them had been scientifically minded, there might have been issues, though I think we would have got round them.

[VikingLady]

Another personal experience here. I attended 3 senior schools, with undx Aspergers. !st was super selective private school. Happy there, but my family couldn't afford it, so I had to leave. Social difficulties didn't show so much, because there was good pastoral care and teachers who really cared (and were very well paid). 2nd was a sink comprehensive. Learnt nothing in 6m. 3rd was a supposedly excellent grant maintained school (now an academy). It was pre A days, so they concentrated all of their time and resources on getting D level achievers up to C level. Nothing* else mattered. I was bullied continuously, and a boy actually committed suicide a year after I left due to similar bullying.

And this is supposedly an excellent school. House prices around there are astronomical!

My parents knew I was unhappy and learning very little but did not know HE was an option - they thought you had to be a qualified teacher. If they had known more about it they have said that they would have let me stay home, and I would be a happier (and probably more successful) person.

Oh - and socialisation through school? Bollocks. All I learnt was that intelligent people in private schools were nice to me, but that the majority of the population disliked me for being a swotty freak who didn't fit in. That only clones were acceptable. I think I could have lived without learning that lesson! All I ever learnt about socialising I learnt in work, mainly in sales jobs as they do a lot on how to create rapport. All school could do was tell me to fake it.

So if my dd has the same problems as me, I will HE her. I'll try school first, as we could do with the money for me working - and she may be nt!

GCSEs/A Levels - for HE the problem is money. I understand you have to pay privately. God knows how we will afford that! I can see me working on chat lines to fund it.... I have certainly had a LOT of experience in learning to fake liking people!

[VikingLady]

Epic post. Sorry. Once I get started on school.....

[ppeatfruit]

vikinglady about the bullying.You need a certain confidence to stand up to bullies DD2 actually did it! I was so proud of her 'cos her classmates were bullying a certain DC and DD2 actually got them into trouble and there was no retribution . DS went to MANY schools and in one the ONLY that he learnt was to bully or be bullied. It was terrible.

Ref. GCSE's By the time yr DD is at the exam taking age, they work under their own steam IME and you could work P.T.

[Gingerodgers]

I would only home school if something wasn't working at school for my kids. That said, I know that when I meet people who home school, I have a wee red warning flag, that suggests a level of weirdness............. Sorry

[jellybeans]

I think each to their own. I have always thought I would consider it if my DC were bullied/unhappy and school didn't sort it. As it happened this was the case but teaching my DC to defend themselves as well as threatening said child (not myself-through DC) with police involvement seemed to sort it out. DC school has a policy where they do not tell bullies off and don't 'blame' them for their bad behaviour-even in cases of violence! So if need be we would home educate in the future. I feel perfectly capable of teaching up to GCSE.

[morethanpotatoprints]

Ginger.

Out of interest why would you only consider H.ed if there was a problem at school and what do you think you would need to do to stop others like you from seeing a red flag suggesting weirdness, if you did decide to.

[ppeatfruit]

morethan for 'weirdness' read a person who has the guts not to follow the herd. It takes courage I can tell you but all our DCs are thankful that we've been on their side.

That is not to suggest that you're a member of the 'herd' of course ginger

[bruffin]

*morethan for 'weirdness' read a person who has the guts not to follow the herd.
I wouldnt agree, most children I know have their own personalities and dont follow the herd. My dd in particularly has friends of every type, from your blonde, makeup loving boxer (she even has pink boots for boxing) to her goth friends.
But saying that a perverse desire to be different is just as bad a following the crowd.

Other than SN I have yet to see a good reason to HE, without giving school a chance, that isnt really a parent satisfying their own ego.

[amillionyears]

I would say to the people who HE, and only based on my limited experience, is not to forget sport and the outdoors.
One family who HE, literally forgot sport was on the national cirriculum for many years!
The families I have seen whom HE, either fell into the category of, to be blunt, not very well educated themselves,never liked school themselves, and really didnt have much of a clue about education full stop.
To the other extreme, of being very bright indeed, and top uni educated. Were very acedemic, very into books etc, but not ones for the outdoor life at all.

[morethanpotatoprints]

amillion.

We tend not to do any sport with dd and she doesn't really show an interest. I don't really follow the national curriculum but find most of what dd learns and wants to do is compatable.
She does enjoy dancing and orchestra/ choir/ string ensemble so she does get the team work side of it. Obviously the dancing keeps her fit, as she attends classes 3 times per week. I'm not sure about the future as we are being led by dd at present, so will see what materialises.

[exoticfruits]

It is probably why I wouldn't get on with it-as the adult I think that I know what they need and so I would be the leader. They could have choice but only within certain limits. e.g. maths would be daily-swimming would never be optional.

[amillionyears]

I would class dancing as part of sport fwiw.
I would hesitate by being wholely led by DD.
Sometimes,even as adults we dont know what we like until we try it.
Try her on all sorts I say, including different sports.
I am not a professional btw.

[exoticfruits]

You can't know that you want to do something if you don't know it exists!

[morethanpotatoprints]

a million.

I don't mean completely led by her with subject, although I do agree mostly with what she decides. For example, she will try and evade maths, as she struggles. So instead of making it formal and risk her getting upset and learning nothing, I find ways she can learn and improve without her realising sometimes .
She does live in a culture where sport is encouraged as her 2 much older brothers play at county level. I think its more a time factor now, maybe she will want to do something when older.

[amillionyears]

How old is you DD. I have gone back this thread half way,but I am not sure you have mentioned it.
I would persevere with sport. It doesnt have to be brutal[cant think of a better word for now].
And outdoors, if she is indoors a lot.
And doesnt have to be team sports, if she does other team stuff.
Just saying. Obviously it is all up to you.

[morethanpotatoprints]

amillion.

Hello, you are so nice and supporting. Apart from the H.ed pages its not often to hear non judgemental comments
Our dd is 8 would be y4, we have only just sterted H.ed in sept.
We have a park completely opposite our house and she does run ocassionally, but mostly we do science there as its great for Biology and living things. Unless it is completely throwing down I try to take her most days as she does do so many indoor activities and I hate the pasty look, . Our eldest ds 21 has just graduated with a sports coaching/ developing/ management degree and until now has been to busy to offer much support. However, he has just changed his job and will be able to encourage her now, which may be easier for him as she worships him.