Hope you dont mind me doing this but you ladies have been with me since my BFP.
I posted the following on another forum and am hoping anyone can give me comments maybe hoping im not alone.
I hope you dont mind me posting questions today.
My daughter is 9 weeks old.
Had her early due to pre eclamsia (sp) was in hospital from 37 weeks and was induced at 38 weeks.
She has suffered with wind/colic, and silent reflux. Been a very hard baby.
I am currently living with my parents as i live far away from them and couldnt cope during day on my own as hubby works long hours.
I dont really feel i have bonded with her. She screamed so much for the first 6 weeks i mean 9 hours on some days. As awful as it sounds sometimes i wished i had never had her i mean i knew it would be hard but wow. I feel like i have created a child thats miserable with discomfort and Im exhausted. Been sleeping in living room as i knew i would be up so much with her. Now the issues are almost gone and shes giving me beautiful grins and she is gorgeous but i feel so traumatised by what we have been through i keep waiting for her to scream. I still sleep downstairs at my parents. Too frightened to go home incase she starts.
Now i think i have a prolapse. Asked question on here yesterday. Now through research i think my rectum is coming through the back of the vaginal wall. I can feel a bulge in my vagina and have to push it sometimes to go to the loo. Also a bit sore when sitting but that could be cos i keep pushing it to see if its still there. I feel sick to my stomach. This is my first baby how could i have issues already.
Took IVF to get my daughter and i loved being pregnant if not nervous all the time. lol. But i always wanted a big family, im firstly now not sure i am allowed more children with this prolapse (post natal check on monday) but also really scared the next baby could be so ill with these problems.
Cried myself to sleep last night, miss my husband sooo much, cried my baby has been in so much pain when she was first born, cried that if i do have a prolapse i will never feel normal again.
a) How do i realise she is a normal baby now and when she cries its not going to last 9 hours.
b) If it is a prolapse of the rectum into the vagina are my dreams of a bigger family possible or is it over.
Its a lot of worrying and i never seem to relax and i think she senses it.
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Not bonding & worrying about postnatal issues
5 replies
Alamaya · 08/07/2011 14:00
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