Wishes other mums would butt out!

[zozzle]

Why do other mums feel the need to tell you how to bring up your kids?

Two friends in particular always feel the need to make a big song and dance if they feel my child is slightly over/under dressed for the weather - "Ooh poor x, she must be really cold, let's cover up those little legs/arms/feet" etc - they've done it to me a couple of times recently! And I've heard them do it to other mums too.

What it achieves is (momentarily) making you feel like a s**t mum - and often in front of other people to boot!

I live on a hill with the sun streaming in through the window in the morning so when I'm walking down the drive it always feels hotter than it really is - so I always make sure I take extra clothes in the buggy to cover them up if needed.

I would never dream of commenting on how other people dress their kids - only in v extreme circumstances - eg a child playing in the snow in a t-shirt or in jumpers in 80 degree heat etc. But otherwise I would trust their judgement - it's their child after all.

Why do people think it's ok to interfere in this way. AIBU?

[Ladyem]

I think you are being a little sensitive TBH. Yes, it's annoying, but it shouldn't really make you feel like a shit parent, just because they say your DD might be cold/warm.

[lilmamma]

maybe they are just trying to be helpful,or over motherly..I know it can be annoying but i must admit iam guilty of doing this.

A woman friend had her 11 week old baby in the buggy the other day,and it was really cold,he only had a babygrow on and a thin zip up jacket,his hands were freezing and he had no hat on,she had a hood on his jacket,so i said why dont you put his hood up,his lil head must be freezing.

I really felt like saying he should have a coat, hat, and gloves on,and a decent blanket,but as you say it is her discision at the end of the day..

maybe its just a motherly thing,like when people touch your pregnant belly without asking,ps i dont do that lol.

[PutTheKettleOn]

I'm with you on that one - sometimes my 2.5 yo DD will wear a cardi on a hot day just cos she likes the colour, or refuse to put one on when it's cold cos she's too busy running around... i figure she's old enough to decide if she's too hot/too cold!

And don't get me started on the inlaws- they have an obsession with socks!

[AMumInScotland]

YANBU - but some people do go a bit overboard when they become parents and start feeling they need to take responsibility for "mothering" everyone they meet!

How about pulling them up on it every time, gently but firmly, so they realise what they're doing and how it is coming across. Something like "Helloooow! I am actually here and able to make that decision you know!" with a wry smile to point out the oddity of the situation.

Hopefully you'll embarrass them enough to make them think twice.

[MrsMc82]

No YANBU!
Got a good friend that always seems to be picking me up on stuff...... She doesn't realise how irritating she's being and I think she thinks she's being helpful but annoys the hell out of me!!!
Have come to realise (in my lengthy 8months of motherhood - haha! ;) ) that people always have bloody opinions about other peoples babies and children and arent shy about voicing them for some reason....... But I'm with you on this I wish others would butt out too......... Especially my MIL but that's a WHOLE different rant!!!
XXX