How many birthday parties has your child been to...

[cloudy]

this school year?

[purpleturtle]

stopped going to the same nursery

[purpleturtle]

Dd (4 next month) has only been to 2 proper birthday parties - 1 a friend from church, and 1 a little girl from nursery, who stopped going to the same week
One of dd's "best friends" must have mentioned that she was having a party to dd, because dd has been waiting about 2 months to be invited to it. (I know it happened in January)
I put it down to there being a group of mums who've known each other ages, and I'm not one of them. Raises a slight dilemma as to what I'll do next month, especially as dd's birthday is during Easter hols.

[marialuisa]

Cloudy, I have no idea what I'd say in those circs, fortunately invitations are slipped discretely into school bags by teachers at dD's school so not something we've encountered.

Hopefully your DS will have forgotten by home time, but i do feel for you (and him).

[cloudy]

Yesterday a child (who came to DS's party, DS often mentions playing with him) was handing out birthday invites just before school started. DS got all excited thinking he would be invited... but he wasn't, of course. He was a bit confused & lost at the time.

He seemed to forget about it by the time I picked him up from school. But what do I say if he asks... "Mummy, why don't I get invited to any parties?"

I know this isn't a truly "big" problem, but I'm stumped... what do I say if he asks?

[Poshpaws]

Ds (3.5) has got one on Sat and has been to about 4 that have been held at the nursery. He has been there since November. In his life, he has been to a LOT.

TBH, it seems to me that at pre-school age anyway, most of the parties are held at nursery.

I will probably do the same in August for DS' 4th.

I also agree with those that have said that the invites seem to step up a gear once they are at school. DNephew seems to be going to a party every week and he only started school in Sept.

[dinosaur]

Lots of sympathy, cloudy. My DS1 really likes parties, too, and I wish he got invited to more. Sounds like you are doing everything you can, though.

Do you know many of the other mums? I often get the impression that the number of party and playdate invites that children get depend more on whether their mums are pals than on whether the children themselves are friends.

[littlemissbossy]

too many tbh, 3 parties in half term alone

[Gobbledigook]

BTW - I ordered books from redhouse.co.uk - you can get 3 for £9 on there but the books are originally £11ish so I've just given those - they won't know I only spent £3 will they?!

[Gobbledigook]

DS1 is almost 4 and in pre-school nursery - we've had 3 so far (only 8 pre-schoolers in the nursery though as it's a small sessional nursery).

We've had another 1 for a family/NCT friend that both ds1 and ds2 went to and we've got about another 4 of those lined up for March/early April so far and we've got ds1s in April too.

[NomDePlume]

DD is 2.5 and has been to 1 in the past school year.

DS1 & DS2 are 12.5 & 11 and have been to 1 each.

[KristinaM]

Not sure if i was clear - i mean that if there are 30 in the class they have to invite all 30 or only 4 or 5 close friends. Not 28 leaving out 2.

[KristinaM]

My rule on parties is that my children have to invite everyone in the class / group or just a few, so no one is left out IYSWIM. My kids hate this of course. last year my DD wanted to invite everyone in the class except one child to her birthday party.I know the child and family - the little boy is a loner and pretty much non verbal - i suspect he has SN but is not diagnosed yet.

Mean mum here insisted he was invited. He came abd was just fine. his mum stayed. She said it was the first party he had ever been to. he is 6. i could cry just thinking about her.DD still goes on about it. Oh well it will give her something to discus in therapy

[Jimjams]

he was in mainstream for 4 terms and went to 2 (both the same child) you're not alone coppertop. I will be eternally ridiculously grateful to thatlittle girl (and her mother) until the day I die.

Not sure whether children at his special school do parties - except in school (doubt it) but at least if I have to invite the whole class there's a maximum of 7

[cloudy]

I try to organise playdates. About 40% of the time (based on a a small sample of 10-11 invites, admittedly) the child doesn't show at all, or the parent begs off last minute. Sometimes we get playdate invites back... the kids play nicely when they're here, that's not the problem. I try to invite 4 children at a time, now, so that DS doesn't get disappointed if some don't show, but I really can only do that on weekends or holiday times when DH is around to make sure they're all supervised -- if they do all come...

If only it were the cost! I bought some 5yo boy toys in the July sales thinking DS was starting a new school, would go to parties; oops! That was wasted. I'm flogging them on Ebay, now. I know that lots of parties and playdates are happening. The other mums chat about them. Once DH took DS to an indoor play centre where one of DS's classmates was having a birthday party... we didn't know about it. DH did know many of the other mums there, though.

There is a child (M.) who is in DS's colour group in class, they often eat lunch together & play together. Last week M. came to play (with 2 other boys, plus his big brother, later). They all seemed to have a good time; no fuss or bother at all. M.'s mum sat on the settee chatting to us for a while before he went home.

Today (yesterday now) I found out M. is having a birthday party this weekend. DS, of course, not invited...My neighbour's boy is, though.

I'll try to hope things change like you said, Marina. DS loves other children, party atmospheres. He is missing out so much.

[Bozza]

DS has only been unable to go to one because he is the only member of the family with a social life.

[Enid]

my god, dd1 has 'only' been invited to 2 (I think there have only been 2 so far in the class) and that's quite enough thank you very much!

Playdates more important IMO, thats where they really make mates.

[Marina]

Hmm, cloudy, if it helps any, quite a few children in ds' Reception year did not have "all back to mine" type big dos (we didn't). It is noticeable in Year One that everyone is doing the whole class thingy this year. We have been to a wide variety of hideous, migraine-inducing establishments already and three of those children had no party last year.

[KristinaM]

About 8 or 9 this school year. My experience is that it depends on age of child . Often reception age kids and pre schoolers invite the whole class to their parties. By 7 or 8 they just invite a few close friends.
Cloudy - are you concerned that your child has not been invited to many? Or concerned about the cost?

[pedilia]

ds1 is at pre-school, been to two so far and another two in the next month.

[dinosaur]

Two, but that will probably be about it for the rest of the school year - it just so happens that two of the only three children likely to invite him have already had their birthdays.

[knot]

none, but hes only 8 months

[Bozza]

8 including his own last Sunday. But IIRC there will be a run of them in April/May time. He went to two the weekend DD was born - so might be 3 that weekend next year! Not all of them have been nursery kids though.

[woodpops]

This year (since August) 12. OMG 12 flaming kiddies parties. This is costing me a small fortune!!!! That's just ds who's 3. DD who's 2 has been to 4.

[cloudy]

DS (5,reception, teacher says that he "has a nice circle of friends") has only been invited to 2. Upsets me a lot but don't think I can do anything about it.

[JulieF]

Two, but neither of them nursery parties. One was a child we know from NCT coffee mornings and the other was her cousin.