help needed - elderly and confused

[robinw]

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[robinw]

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[floops]

Sorry robinw only just found this thread. I am sister on a dementia unit. Speak to the G.P. for a referral to the mental health services for a CPN to come and assess her at home. They can then give ongoing support for her to aim to keep her at home longer before the need for institutional care (if it comes to that).

[robinw]

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[SueDonim]

I've had a bit of experience of elderly people with dementia through FIL and friends parents. My main 'take' on it is that you can never start too early on putting systems into place. In some areas the wheels of the SS grind exceedingly slow and the care that this lady could need in six months may not be available because forms A, B and C haven't been completed and so on.

I think there's a difficult balance to be struck here between looking after your neighbour, not treading on her DD's toes and also looking after yourself, Robin. As your neighbour already is dependent on you to some extent then I think you are fully justified in trying to put resources into place now, because from what you say, the burden will otherwise fall on you. I'd try to get the DD to start the ball rolling but if she can't/is unwilling/in denial then you'll need to see what you can do, for everyone's sake.

I know SS in one area (and I assume everywhere) carry out an assessment of needs. They will take the person into a unit and watch them over for a week or two. It gives a much clearer picture than that of a ten minute home visit, although I expect they will need to do that, too. Once that is done, then appropriate care can be given. I think that assessment procedure is set in place by the Dr but I'm not 100% certain. She can be given an alarm for use, should she fall or have another episode when you are away.

Another person worth contacting could be this lady's Health Visitor. HV's look after elderly folk as well as babies and were great when my dad was ill and dying (although he had a physical illness, not dementia).

I hope you find some help with all this, Robin, it's quite an undertaking. Good luck.

[robinw]

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[Willow2]

My granny suffered from - and please excuse the spelling - interfracture dementia. Essentially, medical explanation aside, the symptoms of this was that she would swing in and out of dementia - wheras I think the difference with senile dementia is that it gradually increases. At the beginning this was incredibly hard on her as she would go a bit batty and then return to normal and be aware that she'd done something really mad and be terribly ashamed by the whole experience. With time the dementia episodes increased in their regularity and she had to move in with my mum for her own safety. But eventually she lost all grasp on reality and, on doctor's advice, was moved in to a hospice where they were better able to care for her.

That's not to say that this is what your neighbour has - but I think it is really important that her family is made aware that there really is a problem that needs investigating further.

[robinw]

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[Bozza]

Yes RobinW speak to the daughter. Find out if the GP is the same as yours or if not who it is just for in case.. Also the home help can often be a mine of information regarding old people IME.

[IDismyname]

robinw
I'd call the daughter and explain that obviously her mother is swinging between lucid and... the not so lucid, and could she speak to her mums GP about it.
Obviously you are close to this lady, and speaking as a DIL of someone elderly - 82 - (and frankly quite batty !) but over 3 hrs drive away, I'd appreciate concern shown by a neighbour. However, speak to the daughter first before approaching anyone. She may get the wrong idea if you try and sort it out yourself.

[robinw]

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