Why is Mumsnet Talk so addictive?

[Chanelno5]

We only recently got a PC (yes, I know that I'm about 10 yrs behind the rest of the world) and it's opened up a whole new world to me. I only found Mumsnet by accident when I was searching for something else and I can't believe that there has been this little 'community' existing for sometime which I knew nothing about! Some of you seem to know each other really well. Now I find myself strangely drawn and logging on at all times of the day and night. What is the attraction? I have a few theories:- 1. You feel a bit daring talking to strangers but equally know that you are safe as everyone is in the same boat (ie. sitting at home/work harrassed covered in nappy rash cream/ baby vomit etc. 2. As it's anonymous you can talk about and admit to things that you perhaps wouldn't to friends and family 3. You know that somewhere out there you'll find a friendly ear and someone else who has shared your experience, and 4. We all basically like a good gossip and this is just another way of doing it !!! What do you more experienced Mumsnetters think?

[Kia]

Mumsnet is my 'virtual' circle, like I have some friends in my 'reality' circle who will go off the deep end if I just press their buttons in such a way at such a time, but there are many others who stay calm when everyone else around is doing their impression of a headless chicken with a sten gun - I love mumsnet and don't bother with anything else in this 'line'. It's comforting and supportive with the occasional spike just to remind me that real people are at the other end!!

[Robinw]

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[Chanelno5]

I'm glad I started this discussion because now I can do this and this . I wonder if this ;} and this :o do anything? Have to admit about those last two, dh did them so atleast if they don't work I can blame him!

[Scummymummy]

I agree, Robinw. Mumsnet is generally a very supportive site and a cut above the rest of the parenting sites. I am very fond of many of the contributors and value their opinions on various issues.
The moderators are excellent and I am not complaining about deletions or trying either to defend or to disassociate myself from previous threads. Suffice it to say that I feel I've learned things about myself and others from reading and contributing to Mumsnet and hope I'll continue to do so.

I probably shouldn't have mentioned my thoughts on the Mail thread given that it was from a while back.

[Chanelno5]

When using Mumsnet though, it's easy to understand how confusion can arise and how people can end up feeling offended when this was not the intention. In normal, face-to-face conversation, you have all the audio/visual clues which convey a person's meaning. However, you are deprived of these when on the internet so misunderstandings inevitably arise - that is the nature of the beast I'm afraid. I know that there have been times when I have wanted to add what I thought was a witty comment to a discussion, but have changed my mind as I have seen how it could be taken by some as sarcasm. I know you're probably thinking that I shouldn't be afraid to voice my opinions, no matter how silly, but when all is said and done, I don't like to offend people unnecessarily and also I don't want to be known as the 'moaning minny' who no one will talk too!

[Janh]

Scummymummy - or scrummymummy! - you don't need to apologise for commenting on the Mail thread. (And nobody needs to apologise for reading the Mail, either, Rhiannon and Jodee!)
However, having been there at the time, and gone back and re-read it, I really don't understand why you felt sorry for jbr. You will have read there comments from other people about her "chip on the shoulder" domination of many other threads at that time, and in that Mail thread she attacked Rachel quite unpleasantly on the basis of a misquote - jbr STARTED the "heated and personal" aspect of the thread.
I don't spend as much time on Mumsnet as I used to but have noticed, in what I have seen of her posts, that jbr seems to have toned down her hostility a bit when people disagree with her? Which is a good thing. But I think she still thinks that we are all wrong, if we use words and phrases she disapproves of, or hold opinions that are not hers. (Chief Inspector of the Thought Police.) I actually found it really funny when she said something like "believe it or not I've had a lot of arguments with people at work" - !!! - presumably she spoke to them the same way she "spoke" to us.
And she used to be quite insulting herself, but act hurt and surprised if she got it back...the thing is that it is quite possible to give your own opinions, verbally, without being offensive because your tone makes it clear that you are intending to be humorous, but as several people have mentioned, when it's written down it's much harder (unless you stick in a ).
And some people are permanently on the defensive anyway and are looking for offense to take. So Chanelno5, you are wise to hold back if you want to be witty - you can get into awful trouble!

PS - LOL - laugh out loud - ROFL - roll on floor laughing - ROFLAWMP - see if you can work it out!

[Scummymummy]

I suppose I just feel sorry for people with chips on their shoulders, Janh! In my experience an aggressive manner often masks a loneliness or confusion. I also thought Jbr seemed genuinely surprised at the posts she was receiving and perhaps didn't realise how her own posts might be interpreted. I wasn't really comfortable with the discussion around Jbr's mental health difficulties either, and felt sorry that she was going through that experience.
In a way though when you go through old threads you're reading them completely out of context since you don't know who was posting what at the same time in other threads. I hadn't realised that Jbr was a serial insulter! Anyway, all water under the bridge now...

P.S. Roll on floor laughing and wetting my pants?!

[Jbr]

I've just left Babyworld once and for all. I went to working mothers (even though those issues don't affect me particularly but I can't stand "at home parents forum") and I was surprised to read a "Part time working" thread started by myself. It seems I am married with a litte girl!

Nobody mentioned it to me! I've had enough of sites so you can gossip about me as much as you want now and say as many sexist things as you please LOL!

[Kia]

I should like you all to know I'm wearing my flame-proof undies - before I say this! I'm admittedly thick, but I'm not sure if Jbr is joking or not? I need a smiley that looks embarassed.

[Marina]

Robinw, I don't work for mumsnet, just a loyal supporter. You guessed the other site right!

[Scummymummy]

Sorry if we sounded like we were gossiping about you, Jbr. It wasn't meant that way. It was just that we'd read an old thread, which you contributed to, and wanted to talk about the issues raised. Sorry again if it upset you to see ancient history dragged up.

[Robinw]

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[Jbr]

Nah it's ok honestly. I wasn't being wholly serious. I was just amused that someone else posted under my user name on the other site. Granted I only use my first initial on that site but I still found it bizarre.

[Janh]

Robinw - IF we're being sexist!!! Which we weren't.
And we weren't being rude back; just defending our non-sexist, non-disablist, non-racist etc etc position.
I think that on this board we are entitled to say what we think in language that isn't offensive to 99.9% of the population, and not to have to tailor our comments to suit one person. That was the problem. The thread concerned didn't "discuss jbr's mental health difficulties". She was trying to impose her very stringent language requirements on everybody else, and distorting what had already been said to make her case. It just doesn't work. If you do go back and re-read that thread you'll see what i mean...

[Robinw]

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[Pupuce]

We are not going to fight on this again... are we ????

[Alibubbles]

What's wrong with the Daily Mail? I read the Telegraph everyday, at the weekend I have the Sunday Times, Mail on Saturday and Sunday and the Saturday and Sunday Telegraph. My husband and I sit at the breakfast table, one each so we have room to spread the papers and munch on warm croissants and read the papers front to back while our 14 and 15 year catch up on their sleep! Peace until at least midday or they are woke by hunger!- Bliss!

[Janh]

I'll get me coat.

[Knakered]

I have been addicted to Mumsnet for about 6 months now...I find the depth and breadth of opinion fascinating and really informative. It has helped me to get to decisions quicker....if I had to have this number of conversations in the real world I would be a bigger baby bore than I already fear I am....word of warning though I do find myself logging on and getting irritated with the children if they interupt...how ironic is that!

[Chanelno5]

How strange Knakered, I find myself getting irritated with the kids too when they disturb me when I'm Mumsnetting - it is very ironic, isn't it!

[Jodee]

If ScummyMummy has finished with my tin helmet could she please pass it to Janh!
Seriously, I think what's been said in the past should be left there - so let's 'put it to bed'.

Mumsnet is by far the best discussion forum I've seen, both for content and design. Sometimes because we are talking to a 'virtual' person we can occasionally say things that we wouldn't dream of when talking to someone face to face, and forget that the person reading our messages has feelings and may take things to heart.

[Chanelno5]

Good idea Jodee! I started this thread because I thought it would be a happy diversion from all the bad things going on in the world at the moment - wrong! Being a novice Mumsnetter, I didn't know about all the aforementioned that had gone on - what an eye opener! I'm glad that you have all 'exorcised your demons' now and let bygones be bygones. Shall we call it a day on this thread now? Thanks for your comments though - you little loves!

[Kia]

I read everything. From food labels to clothes labels to the back of airline tickets to insurance policy terms to Acts of Parliament to Mills&Boons. But more than this I love mumsnet and I'm just about to be kicked off because my time is up on the web tonight. Dogs to be walked, people to see places to go and dishes to be washed. Back tommorrow night, my next window of opportunity!

[Anibani]

Knackered and Chanelno5 - you mirror my own thoughts on the children interrupting your mumsnetting - isn't it nice to sit down at the computer with a cup of tea and have a good old read?

My 5 year old son had been shouting "computer time", computer time" for the last 5 minutes - he assures me that the clock on the PC is a few minutes slow (its his time on the PC at 7:00pm -our sneaky way of getting him to eat his vegtables at tea time, but it works !!)

Anyway, he's now telling me "7 o'clock, you're wasting my time", so must dash.

[Suew]

Oh Kia, I thought I was the only person who ever read the back of an airline ticket.

I also read all the small print that comes inside medicines,etc and notice with regular purchases when they get a Plain English Award or suddenly make it large print.

OTOH, I never read the front page headline in a newspaper except by accident. It might catch my eye but I rarely read the story.