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One-child families

Got questions about only having one child? Find the answers here.

Original poster

In praise of only children - the great things about having just one!

338 replies

flobbleflobble · 04/07/2005 18:54

Just wanted to start a positive thread about how fab it is to have an only child! In reaction to all the threads worrying about how sub-optimal some folk find it not to have more than one...

So here goes - to start off a list in praise of only children :

  • you can take them to stuff appropriate to their age group without having to drag along a disinterested sibling

  • peace and calm at home with no sibling rivalry and squabbles/ violence

  • you can do something with another family without involving 2 cars/people carrier

  • far easier to combine one child with work/social committments

  • easier to provide financially for 1 child

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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hertfordshiremum1984 · 12/04/2020 09:56

Glad I found this thread. We have one DS who is 3. I go backwards and forwards on having another one but know deep down that it wouldn't be the right decision for us. It was really HARD the first time, for a multitude of reasons (that's another thread!) and we have only just got back on our feet. Right now I am unfortunately going through a broody phase and trying to distract myself!

Pros of having one:

  • Better off financially, don't have to move to a bigger house or buy a bigger car.
  • Can afford to stay in our current neighbourhood (rather than move somewhere cheaper) as we don't have to rent a bigger house or buy a bigger car!
  • I almost lost my sanity the first time and won't have to go through that again (although I've been told the teen years are rough!Wink)
  • DH and I can focus on our business, hobbies, relationship and keeping healthy and fit because we have more time for ourselves
  • We don't have family support, one child feels manageable without a support system
  • Life is peaceful and calm, there are no sibling squabbles and you don't need to balance the needs of two children
  • Bedtime routine is peaceful and we take it in turns whilst the other person gets to relax instead of putting another child to sleep
  • We can focus fully on one child's homework when the time comes to do that
  • Easier to travel - both logistically and financially
  • DS shows no interest in siblings or babies and gets all our attention
  • Only one set of extra curricular activities to pay for, therefore DS is likely to have more opportunities
  • Had a mild bladder prolapse the first time. Although I have no symptoms, a second pregnancy might change that/make it worse.
  • Don't have to go through sleepless nights, teething, potty training again.
  • Perhaps the best reason is that the advantages of having a second child aren't as guaranteed as the advantages of sticking to one - sibling bond, more children to enjoy when you're older, support for your first child later in life are just not guaranteed.
ChokkaBlock · 16/04/2020 10:16

I’m so glad I found this thread! My little one is only 7 months and I debate if I would want a second down the road, but I will be pushing 40 by then and the thought of being pregnant then with a toddler sounds exhausting. My baby was very much wanted but I feel an obligation to provide a sibling which I think is more a societal expectation. I think we would be a happy family of three, not to mention being financially better off. I don’t think I could cope with a baby and a toddler and definitely doft my cap to those who can manage it!

245Blossom · 16/04/2020 16:22

Even during the lockdown dd is doing ok on her own. Keeping herself occupied, family time and calling friends, one less thing to worry about is sibling bickering to contend with.

BooseysMom · 16/04/2020 19:57

@ChokkaBlock.. I was 40 when I had my one and only. DS is 6 now. We did sort of ttc another but so many reasons made it impossible and like you say it would be exhausting with a toddler and baby! I do get sudden really sad moments and guilt when i worry about the future for DS. But everyone worries however many they have!
I think i'm ok ..and we're ok as a family of three

Blip · 29/01/2023 12:49

I'm definitely glad that I didn't put my body through pregnancy and birth more than once!

DoorstoManual · 29/01/2023 16:41

Zombie thread.

ellecf21 · 30/01/2023 21:14

Currently have one at the moment and tbh I quite like it. The idea of there being another one feels quite stressful. Is that accurate or do you just settle into having 2? DD is 7mo, no plans for another for at least a couple of years if we feel we'd like to have another.

12DS · 04/02/2023 21:03

Great post! Had two children against better judgment. Life was much better with one.

Opticianjoe · 12/08/2026 13:16

Zombie thread but I love it! Reasons I have never desired a second child…

  • Calmness
  • Time - not split, so much of it to spend with my lovely little family.
  • Capacity - I have so much more and am a much better mum because I’m not stressed or stretched.
  • More money which for us means longer, wider travel and showing our DD the world.
  • opportunities - any hobbies my DD wants to try I let her because, I can! Not taxiing several kids about.
  • more time for my DH and I. Also more time to spend individually with DD.
  • schooling - we can send my DD to an incredible school which means her confidence is really high and she is meeting brilliant friends!

having one is brilliant, and underrated!

BooseysMom · 27/08/2026 05:41

How can you tell this is a zombie thread? What does it mean? Sorry, asking as I honestly don't know!

elQuintoConyo · 27/08/2026 08:17

BooseysmMom it's an original thread from 2005, added to in 2017, 2029 and 2023, then yesterday! Reanimated, like a zombie, rather than a fresh new OP.

I think I may have posted on it at some point, I'll read back.

We have one child. He has a big group of one-child friends. He has 8 cousins in DH's side, but only sees 1 regularly. He has 9 cousins on my side, but has only met 1 in his life (I'm abroad, DH's family are weird!)! His mates are great. Travelling abroad to see my parents is cheap.

Crucially, DS has NEVER asked for a sibling or had any wishes for one. TBH, his birth experience was so horrific, one-and-done was inevitable, despite wanting 3 kids!

There are pros and cons of all numbers of children. We've made peace with our 1 and have a whale of a time.

BertieBotts · 30/08/2026 14:58

And to add context why people point out that it is a "zombie" thread -

Often people will happen across a thread in Active conversations, and not look at the date but go directly to reading the content of the original post.

Often a post is a question which is not so much of a general discussion - this one is a general discussion, so arguably fine to reanimate - but if someone is asking for help with a 3yo's behaviour for example, or ideas of how to support their teenager through their GCSEs, it's a complete and utter waste of time and energy for somebody to write a heartfelt response to it several years later, when the problem for the original author has probably already resolved or is no longer relevant.

The zombie warning is usually to prevent frustration when someone has spent time and energy writing a reply not realising the original OP will never see it!

BooseysMom · 11/09/2026 21:29

elQuintoConyo Thanks for explaining re. Zombie threads I love that you have made peace with having one DC. Also that your DS has never asked for a sibling.. this is the same as my DS. He doesnt even want a dog! ..Just loads and loads of Hotwheels!!

BertieBotts
Thank you for explaining too ☺️

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