In praise of only children - the great things about having just one!

[flobbleflobble]

Just wanted to start a positive thread about how fab it is to have an only child! In reaction to all the threads worrying about how sub-optimal some folk find it not to have more than one...

So here goes - to start off a list in praise of only children :

• you can take them to stuff appropriate to their age group without having to drag along a disinterested sibling
  
  
• peace and calm at home with no sibling rivalry and squabbles/ violence
  
  
• you can do something with another family without involving 2 cars/people carrier
  
  
• far easier to combine one child with work/social committments
  
  
• easier to provide financially for 1 child

[hertfordshiremum1984]

Glad I found this thread. We have one DS who is 3. I go backwards and forwards on having another one but know deep down that it wouldn't be the right decision for us. It was really HARD the first time, for a multitude of reasons (that's another thread!) and we have only just got back on our feet. Right now I am unfortunately going through a broody phase and trying to distract myself!

Pros of having one:

• Better off financially, don't have to move to a bigger house or buy a bigger car.
• Can afford to stay in our current neighbourhood (rather than move somewhere cheaper) as we don't have to rent a bigger house or buy a bigger car!
• I almost lost my sanity the first time and won't have to go through that again (although I've been told the teen years are rough!)
• DH and I can focus on our business, hobbies, relationship and keeping healthy and fit because we have more time for ourselves
• We don't have family support, one child feels manageable without a support system
• Life is peaceful and calm, there are no sibling squabbles and you don't need to balance the needs of two children
• Bedtime routine is peaceful and we take it in turns whilst the other person gets to relax instead of putting another child to sleep
• We can focus fully on one child's homework when the time comes to do that
• Easier to travel - both logistically and financially
• DS shows no interest in siblings or babies and gets all our attention
• Only one set of extra curricular activities to pay for, therefore DS is likely to have more opportunities
• Had a mild bladder prolapse the first time. Although I have no symptoms, a second pregnancy might change that/make it worse.
• Don't have to go through sleepless nights, teething, potty training again.
• Perhaps the best reason is that the advantages of having a second child aren't as guaranteed as the advantages of sticking to one - sibling bond, more children to enjoy when you're older, support for your first child later in life are just not guaranteed.

[ChokkaBlock]

I’m so glad I found this thread! My little one is only 7 months and I debate if I would want a second down the road, but I will be pushing 40 by then and the thought of being pregnant then with a toddler sounds exhausting. My baby was very much wanted but I feel an obligation to provide a sibling which I think is more a societal expectation. I think we would be a happy family of three, not to mention being financially better off. I don’t think I could cope with a baby and a toddler and definitely doft my cap to those who can manage it!

[245Blossom]

Even during the lockdown dd is doing ok on her own. Keeping herself occupied, family time and calling friends, one less thing to worry about is sibling bickering to contend with.

[BooseysMom]

@ChokkaBlock.. I was 40 when I had my one and only. DS is 6 now. We did sort of ttc another but so many reasons made it impossible and like you say it would be exhausting with a toddler and baby! I do get sudden really sad moments and guilt when i worry about the future for DS. But everyone worries however many they have!
I think i'm ok ..and we're ok as a family of three

[Blip]

I'm definitely glad that I didn't put my body through pregnancy and birth more than once!

[DoorstoManual]

Zombie thread.

[ellecf21]

Currently have one at the moment and tbh I quite like it. The idea of there being another one feels quite stressful. Is that accurate or do you just settle into having 2? DD is 7mo, no plans for another for at least a couple of years if we feel we'd like to have another.

[12DS]

Great post! Had two children against better judgment. Life was much better with one.