Wow, thank you everyone for everything over the past nearly 14 years. What a great thread and a lovely (necessary) antidote to all the lonely only propaganda.
My son is nearly 2.5. Before he was born I wanted two (because that's what you do). From the day he was born I wanted one, probably because the change from a free life of doing what I want, when I want, to being second in command to a baby, and giving up nearly all of my hobbies and cultural excursions, was a total shock to me. From then I figured that more children = even less freedom, and I'd like some degree of freedom in my life.
I've had all the rational reasons for one child - for parents and children - clear in my brain, but my guilt at not giving him siblings (I'm one of four) eats at me constantly.
Most of our peers are moving onto their seconds. Plus, I see smug posts on Instagram of people celebrating their wonderful, multiple, children, and I think I want that (the accompanying work and personal sacrifice, not so much...)
My husband is now set on one, and I have talked about it so much with others that my sister (mother of three) recently told me to shut up and get on with enjoying what I do have. Otherwise my son will grow older and I won't have focused on what I should have done - enjoying him and our time together.
Whenever people tell me I won't regret another child, I know it's a flawed argument:
something would have to go pretty wrong to regret a child you've loved and nurtured
VS
we always imagine the child we didn't have to be amazing and the best child ever
This thread has helped me try to get over some of my guilt. My very act of Googling advice on how many children to have implies I don't really 'want' more, I just feel that I 'should have' more, because with children, we make decisions now that last forever (we can't wish up a teenager in 15 years time).
For me, it's not an easy choice, but you've all made me realise I'm not alone and the rational reasons work in real life, not just in my theory.