Don’t want another baby but also can’t stop thinking about it?

[LaceyLou42]

I have a 3 year old son and he is HARD work. That’s the biggest reason we had kind of decided not to have any more. Plus the lack of family support. But we keep questioning it every day. Im an only child and I’m one of the few that will admit it’s kinda lonely. People say “don’t have another just to give your child a sibling” which I get…. Cos they might hate each other right? Have another cos you want to! But what if you just DONT KNOW what you want and can’t reach a decision and haven’t been able to for the last 2 years?! Surely if I didn’t want another I wouldn’t be thinking about it every damn day? Anyone else feel the same?

It sounds like although you say you don’t want another child, you don’t feel quite ready to say no more yet.

I waited 2 years 9 months because DS was difficult (turns out he has oppositional defiant disorder) and was sure I didn't want another one.

and then 3 of my friends got pregnant and I was broody as F and went for it.

Worked out really well for our family. Maybe have a long think about what your brain is trying to tell you! Maybe it would be the right thing after all, maybe not, but DC being 3 doesn't last forever.

Same boat ! Approaching 3 and undecided. Also petrified of postpartum recovery.

Took us 5 years to be mentally ready for another.
We did at point think we were done at one.

My DC is also a wild one, as he's approaching 5 he's starting to calm down so I don't feel as scared for baby coming in the new year.

I've been fence hopping for 2 years, DD is 4. We did try and had a miscarriage, but ultimately i'm just starting to come round to the joy of 1 child and the relative ease now she's in school but there's still a niggle.

I have no desire for another child, I don't want to do it. What I want is to order an adult sibling for her to arrive full grown up in 20 years or so!

I just have to hope that she ends up close to her friends instead and I try and encourage that as much as possible (and put lots of effort into my friendships with other mums of onlies!).

Same here - I don’t want another child but I keep second guessing myself.
In my case there’s also some form of social pressure involved. Everyone (family, friends, even strangers ffs!) believes I should give a sibling to my 3yo, and I live in a community where one child families are still a rarity.
I find parenting to be really, really hard (and my child is veeery easy!), I think my mental health will be affected with a second, financially we wouldn’t be doing as good as with only ine.
There are plenty of good reasons why I should stick with only one, but sometimes I (am made?) feel selfish or guilty for this decision hence the second guessing

Imagine for a week ur pregnant and having another one and pretend how everything would be then spent another week pretending ur definitely not having another one thats what i did x

We only have one. I was told not to try for any more due to complications after the first birth. I still thought about having a second until our DD was about 7. I thought about it every day even though I knew that a) I couldn’t have another and b) in my heart I knew I didn’t really want another and was happy with one. I just felt huge feelings of am I denying my child a sibling and should I be researching if it’s possible to have another and should I be trying harder and these thoughts went round and round in my head in a loop. I don’t know what changed but I managed to accept that we aren’t having another AND I am happy and relieved at that decision and we love being a gang of 3.

No two children are the same . I had one spirited child and the next one was so easy going .