dd1's nursery teacher keeps calling her by the wrong name

[nailpolish]

on the way home from playgroup today dd1 told me her playgroup teacher keeps calling her by the wrong name

its dd2's name, and the said teachers has mentioned to me she used to have another child by dd2's name who was very like dd1, so i can see why she maybe gets confused but dd1's been there over 8 mths now!

and dd1 is now getting upset

[bluebear]

HIJACK - sorry

Coppertop - I have the 'face blindness' thing too - I recognise people by the way they move, clothes, and location..I find it most upsetting that I can't 'see' dh's face in my head - I know the general shape but it's all fuzzy. Dh finds it amusing to pause the video with certain actors on TV (ones I watch every week) and say 'who is that then?'
I wonder if I don't look at faces properly - or whether it is just a brain thing.

Back to the subject - there's an worker at dd's nursery (on Bank so not there everyday) who calls dd a hybrid name - part ds's name and partly dd's - it's not a real name..but even though I call dd loudly by her name in front of her, this woman hasn't cottoned on - so I'm going to have to talk to her....she's calling my little one Keegan! Does she think I named her after Kevin?

[DominiConnor]

My junior school kept calling me O'Connor, and due to a sad bit of Irish history, we had the O taken away a few generations ago.
With all the pedantry of that age, I was virulent about my initial. Turns out however that I'd been mis-spelling my middle name until the age of 19. My 13 year old sister had filled out the form wrong, and years later my A level certs had ended up in slightly the wrong name. The Uni had my birth cert and when it saw the error assumed at first that I was an imposter
We laughed about it afterwards.

[littlemisspiggy]

Tamba, my DH's name is the same and spelled the same as your DS and he gets the same problem!!

[TambaTheDragonSlayer]

Everyone always spells Ds's name wrong...

Johnathan
Jonathon
Jonnathan


Its Jonathan - not difficult!!

[julienetmum]

I am awful at remembering names, and even worse at describing people. I hate it when parents start to talk to me and I don't know which child they belong to or even what they look like. I do only see them once a week though and by the time the children have been with us for about 12 months I know who they are.

I am also the same with new people at the NCT coffee morning. It takes me a good 6 months before I am confident with recognising new people.

[cece]

or I ask another child discretly what their name is.

[cece]

personally when I can't remember the kids names I call them sweetheart! The boys love it!

[getbakainyourjimjams]

I do think it sounds as if she has a problem (espcially if she was upset rather than embarrassed). Writing down what children are wearing when there are 5 children is odd.

[nailpolish]

they are doing letters of their name in playgroup next week, so i predict name badges etc, i just hope she gets the right name taught to her!

[nailpolish]

hi

i spoke to her and she was a bit embarrassed, upset, i told her not to be upset, nobody is perfect and i understand her reasons for getting confused. i just told her i wanted to mention it to her, etc etc etc

she didnt really say very much, just apologised

i hope i havent upset her too much

[Blandmum]

The person I knew with it was a research associate at Oxford, who had a Fullbright grant....amazingly clever and analytical. She was poor on directions as well

This teachers sounds as if she is using quite compex stratagies....I'm sure it isn't because she is wilfully rude over this. She sounds as if she is trying very hard to sort it as best she can

[coppertop]

I've just had a quick look at the link, MB. Recognising people by their hairstyle, glasses etc is what I do all the time. Interesting to see that it's thought to be linked to AS/ASD, especially considering our family history.

[Blandmum]

coppertop, facial agnosia.

It is rare , but real.

have a look at this site

agnosia

[coppertop]

It sounds as though the teacher may well have a problem with remembering faces. I have similar difficulties and dh often jokes that if there is such a thing as 'face-blindness' then I must have it. It doesn't matter how often I see the person. Their face just becomes almost featureless IYSWIM. I've even been known to walk straight past relatives because I just didn't 'see' them.

It sounds as though the teacher is using visual prompts to help her to get round this. Name-badges sound like a good idea.

[Twiglett]

haven't read thread .. but why don't you .. with DD make her a huge big badge with her name on it and let her wear it to school?

[robinpud]

It actually sounds to me as if the teacher may have a real problem. Writing down a visual prompt for each child is a really unusual thing to do. I might be a little hesitant in your approach, she may have a problem she is trying to deal with discreetly.
Having said that if it is a real problem like MB or a memory issue then there are things she could do, like putting name stickers on the children and playing games about letter recognition etc.
You need to mention it, but I would do so privately and with tact.
If you find out there is no reasona le explanation them by all means be cross!

[Blandmum]

I once called a child by the wrong name.....a simple slip of the tongue as I knew the child's name....for the reasons mentioned in the thread

The mother wrote in and complained about me. Mind you, she accused me of sleeping in the lessons as well WTF?????

[Rowlers]

I'm not sure I'd presume she was lazy and I'm not sure I'd be angry either.
She cannot be doing this on purpose; maybe she doesn't even realise she is doing it.
I agree completely that she should know and be using DD's name, but some people are hopeless with names.
I teach 130 kids odd this year. Ok, a bit more than 5!
I do often get it wrong - I KNOW who they are, just the wrong name comes out. God knows why. Never used to happen before I gave birth!

[MaryP0p1]

martinbishop, I have exactly the same problem with sweet little girls with brown hair. My problem is made worse by living in Italy, they all have brown hair!!! And the names are virtually the same, Frederico/a Giovani/a see what I mean?

[Blandmum]

mary, I will also admit to being crap at learning kids names....youdo learn the 'tinkers' names first. My greatest problem is with nice little girls with mid length, brown hair. Awful job remembering them!

In my defence I do teach about 200 of them

[MaryP0p1]

Yes after only 3 weeks the I have the tinkers names engraved on my brain!! Oh and there are certain names I immedately think OH no. I know its stereotyping but.....

[nailpolish]

she does seem a kind hearted person though. and dd1 is learning loads. i call her the 'jotter woman'

[WigWamBam]

How lazy is it not to get every child's name right when you've only got 5 of them in your group? Mind you, if your dd's reaction to her is anything to go by it sounds as if she is lacking in more than one area.

[nailpolish]

marypop, i never thought of that!

[nailpolish]

thanks for the support everyone, i was worried i was overreacting by being angry

dd1 goes 3 mornings and 2 afternoons a week, she loves her afternoon teacher, runs in, but in the morning when she has the forgetful teacher, shes a bit clingy, not nearly so excited

but thats another story

ive got her name down for pre-school next year at the primary

anyway, thanks again