Baby-proofing your marriage - online chat with author CathyO Neill, Monday 26th Feb 9pm

[carriemumsnet]

Cathy O Neill is co-author of Baby-proofing your marriage - How to Laugh More, Argue Less and Communicate Better as Your Family Grows and will be answering your relationship queries live here on Monday 26th Feb from 9-10pm.

We've got five copies of the book to give to the first five members to join the live discussion, but if you can't make the live chat, you can post your questions in advance below.

Thanks and hope to see you on Monday

MNHQ

[KathyMCMLXXII]

Um, Rebmadrid, you do realise that one person typing long posts on a forum doesn't stop other people from having their say, don't you? I don't see how you can blame the brevity of Cathy O'Neill's posts on the other people who posted - two or more people can compose messages at the same time, you know!

[lionheart]

Ha! Ha!

[rebmadrid]

I enjoy reading the threads on mumsnet but I think a lot of you are a bitter twisted lot looking for stuff to moan about.

Why not try and enjoy your marriage and kids instead of bitching online the whole time. Some people seem to have an awful lot of time considering how little time they complain about having. If you give your husband or partner oral sex they just might reciprocate. Enjoy it.

It is a pity that the author wasn't really given time to say anything meaningful about the book because of all the egos who hadn't even read it.

[LemurintheSun]

Just caught up with all this. Good knockabout fun.

I was almost convinced by her "just a laugh" line on the bj idea. That is, until CON (appropriate initials?) suggested that JARM give her dh the same adoring looks that the dds give him. Urggll! Yuck. Don't do it, JARM. As icod said, "30 yrs of female emancipation for this"?

Many of us have a bit of trouble at some point with the whole "fun Daddy" thing, where we do most of the hard work and discipline; while our dh's get to do the fun/generous bits and set up an exclusive mutual admiration society with the ds/dd. From personal experience, I'd suggest talking about it with dh. Let him know that you need some love and attention too. (And deal with any issues concerning your respective roles with the dds too, if necessary. You don't want to be left the outsider with them either). Phony adoring looks would just give my dh the willies and confuse him. He much prefers straight talking to silly games, thank god.

[Cloudhopper]

I couldn't help finding this grossly over-anticipated. The funniest and most interesting bit of the thread was before Cathy came on line.

I was disappointed that I had missed it until I read the transcript.

It did nothing to make me think I would buy the book either.

[Pruni]

Message withdrawn

[lulumama]

i won a copy, so will be reading with interest to see if it is as bad as is feared....

mind you, i;ve had my children , so probably too late for me now !

[Cappuccino]

to be fair she was probably expecting some naive young things from the ante natal boards

but she got cod and morningpaper

she had no chance

[Pruni]

Message withdrawn

[zippitippitoes]

pruni a brief account of the reasons why it is embarrassing as I can't bring myself to look..I just suspected it was embarrassing on the night

so embarrassing as in cringeworthy or embarrassing as in too much sex

[satine]

Nadine Baggott and iCod made me laugh till I cried on this thread. Gawd bless ya, girls.
Far more sanity saving than the 'advice' (sorry, she lost me at the BJ).

[Pruni]

Message withdrawn

[Monkeytrousers]

I'm glad I was in for a bit of it.

hey ho

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

Thanks.

[malaleche]

Thanks

[CathyONeill]

I'm signing off now. Thanks for having me. If you're interested in reading an excerpt of the book, you can find two at
www.babyproofingyourmarriage.co.uk

Cheers,

Cathy

[funnypeculiar]

Thanks, night

[Pann]

thanks.

[CathyONeill]

A friend today mentioned a book called One, Two, Three Magic or something like that. She said that it has really helped her with disciplining the kids. I haven't read it myself. Also, I liked that Siblings Without Rivalry Book.

[NadineBaggott]

"If not, an evening out would be a good start."

but she said she was knackered when they went to bed

do people pay for this advice?

[carriemumsnet]

Hi all

Well officially Cathy's time is up. Thanks to everyone for contributing and to Cathy for all the top advice. Hopefully Cathy will manage to answer the last couple of questions before disappearing - but if not I'm sure there are plenty of mumsnetters ready with some words of wisdom.

We'll try and get a transcript up in the next couple of days.

Night Night and thanks again to everyone

MNHQ

[malaleche]

Elaine Maslish and Adele Faber i think

[CathyONeill]

I'm a bit reluctant to answer any parenting related questions because to be perfectly honest I'm still figuring all of that out myself! But I can say that in terms of how it impacts your marriage, disagreeing on how to discipline the kids is very undermining for the couple. I think it would help to start by listening to your husband, let him see that you are trying to understand why he thinks the way he does, he'll be more receptive to what you have to say if he feels that you are really trying to understand where he's coming from. Could you try to do things his way for a month to see if things are acually better with the kids. Assuming, that is that you are not all out opposed to how he wants to discipline. Could the two of you come up with a compromise style that incorporates some of his ideas and yours? Remember that at the end of the day you both want the same thing - to raise happy, healthy kids. Good luck!

[Pann]

malaleche - who is the author - can you remember, please?

[malaleche]

or 'Siblings without rivalry' by the same authors