Helping your child with exam preparation? Join our webchat with author and journalist Matthew Syed, Wednesday 13 April, 1-2pm

[RachelMumsnet]

It’s the first day of the final school term and for many this means serious revision ahead of the summer exams. We’ve invited author and journalist Matthew Syed to join us on Wednesday 13 April at 1pm to help you assist your children in their exam preparation. Join him on Wednesday between 1 and 2pm or post your question in advance here.

Matthew’s latest book Black Box Thinking: Marginal Gains and the Secrets of High Performance explains how to turn failure into success and through fascinating case studies shows how black box thinkers have faced up to their mistakes and used them as part oftheir future strategy for success. Their lessons can be applied across every field – from sport to education, from business to health. Matthew will be on hand to answer your questions and offer advice on how to help your child - and you - face challenges both in education and in life generally.

Matthew Syed is a columnist for The Times, and the author of two acclaimed books on the science of high performance. Before becoming a writer, Matthew was the England table tennis number one for almost a decade, three-times Commonwealth Champion, and twice competed for Great Britain in the Olympic Games.

[MatthewSyed]

@JugglingFromHereToThere

Thanks Matthew, very encouraging webchat

Follow up question ... do you have any tips for adding some spin to my table-tennis play? I think that may be the key to taking it to the next level!

I might even be able to beat the DC again like I used to in the good old days

It's all in the wrist!! Fast racquet head, fine contact point, and lots of finesse!!

[MatthewSyed]

@RachelMumsnet

Just before the webchat I was asking Matthew about how we can help our children succeed in maths and thought I'd put this up online. My daughter (16) has struggled with maths throughout school. I think part of the problem was that she felt from a v early age that she was 'no good at maths' and gave up. It's only since starting her GCSEs that she's worked incredibly hard and stands to get a good grade and realises she can do it. I just wish she'd come to this conclusion earlier. How can we help children succeed who feel they will never 'get' maths?

This is SO important. In the UK and the US there is a very prevalent view that some people just "don't have a brain for numbers". Children who absorb this view (and there are thousands of them) tend to become demotivated, lack resilience, and often switch off during class.

We need to get across the empowering idea that everyone can learn the amazing realm of maths with engagement and perseverance; that it is like anything else in life: we get better as we engage. Please Google "growth mindset". It is the attitude that drives success, not just in maths, but in life.

[MatthewSyed]

@JugglingFromHereToThere

My DD is just coming up to her AS exams in a few weeks time!
She's worried that she's not done enough revision especially over Easter and has been talking about failing them and other rather drastic talk in last few days. She did do some revision most days over Easter though, even though she also had a brief residential trip away with a youth group. I think she's also doing at least as much as she did last year and she did well in her GCSE's. AS mocks in Feb didn't go so well though.

So question is, given where are ...... How can she make the best use of the 6 weeks or so she has left before exams?

She's also doing Art which takes up a lot of her energy and time. Art exam is a little earlier at end of April. But still there's only two clear weeks after Art is over before she takes her other three.

Hopefully she'll be dropping one after AS for next year

Always have a clear idea of what the priorities are, and then establish a timetable for learning them, and work systematically (and hopefully calmly) through it. Take regular breaks. Make sure she eats properly. Encourage her to enjoy her learning, and to see the inherent fascination in the topics (all subjects are interesting!). The brain absorbs more information when it one is passionate about one's subjects as opposed to doing them grudgingly or resentfully.

[MatthewSyed]

@AddToBasket

I read Bounce and it changed my life and my parenting. It's the book that has had the most influence on me in the last decade and I am always recommending it.

Do you have any practical tips for how to help children receive results and feedback in a positive and productive way? Especially when they might be hugely disappointed (missed uni places, etc) Thanks.

Thanks for the kind comments about Bounce! Yours is an important question, and it depends on the context. If they have done badly on a piece of homework, you might caution against overreaction if they get very gloomy. But if they haven't got into their university of choice, then disappointment is entirely natural. But the most vital question is: what will you do next? Will you allow this to undermine your motivation and drive to have a fulfilling life, or will you explore the myriad opportunities that still exist, and moreover learn from the disappointment, for there will always be lessons. Failure is never the end of life, only the beginning. It is how we respond that matters the most.

[SorchaMumsnet]

We now have the answers to the rest of your questions back from Matthew and are about to put them up!

[guerre]

Thank you so much! Very pleased to be getting a copy

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

Oh, brilliant - that sounds like it will be a very interesting read. Thanks Matthew and MNHQ

Only the second time I've won something through MN - my JosephJoseph silicon kitchen spatulas are great too, and used everyday

[SorchaMumsnet]

Hello all! Thanks to everyone who joined this great webchat with Matthew yesterday. I'd like to announce the winners of the prize draw for the signed copies of his book Black Box Thinking... Congratulations JugglingFromHereToThere, guerre and neolara!

[Arsenicinthesugarbowl]

Thanks for your time! I read some of these answers including the one to my own question to my 16yo! She actually put the books down this evening for a few minutes......

[gleegeek]

Thanks for your comprehensive feedback. Will have a good think about it! Great webchat

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

Thanks Matthew, very encouraging webchat

Follow up question ... do you have any tips for adding some spin to my table-tennis play? I think that may be the key to taking it to the next level!

I might even be able to beat the DC again like I used to in the good old days

[MatthewSyed]

Thanks for so many brilliant questions. I have to get somehwere by 2.30pm but will answer the remaining questions by the end of the week.

Thanks again - and if anyone reads my new book black box thinking, I so hope you enjoy it!!

M

[MatthewSyed]

@wavingnow

I fear I've probably got it wrong but when there is so much pressure out there I don't want mine feeling like failures if they don't get these mega high grades. Secretly of course I am concerned that I'm failing them by not pushing. So my question is how do you encourage without that encouragement making them end up worrying that their efforts are not good enough?

It is such a difficult balance, isn't it? Pushing can easily turn into pressurising, but a smart nudge now and then can be crucial. Always depends on context. And the tone in which the encouragement is delivered. I am sure you will do it brilliantly!!

[RachelMumsnet]

We're really sorry but Matthew has to rush off now. However he's v happy to answer all the questions and we we'll post them up before the end of the week. As soon as they are all live, we'll promote on the home page.

Thanks to everyone who posted up questions - this has been a really interesting webchat.

[PirateSmile]

I agree that it's important for children to fail but it's bloody hard to watch it happen.

[neolara]

Love the idea of failure week. Will mention it to the head.....

Thank you for your comments.

[MatthewSyed]

@Thistle72

My ds is sitting his exams next month. He was diagnosed with moderate dyslexia in December last year. I feel overwhelmed now by the amount of work he must do. The school had him down as disruptive which had actually been down to his undiagnosed dyslexia. He is relieved now that he is not "thick" as he thought, but I feel that I must do everything possible to make sure he passes. He attends revision at school and we are doing 2 hours a night. Focusing on his English. Could you advise me how to help him best and how to curtail my escalating anxiety over it all. Many thanks.

Please don't be anxious! It sounds as if he is working brilliantly, and has benefited hugely from the removal of the deeply pejorative label "thick". Always emphasise how much he is growing, and get him to reflect on how much more knowledge he has now than this time last month. And to be curious about the knowledge still to come. Thanks!

[zig]

On the subject of learning from mistakes and failures, DS2 (year 5) has a teacher who models 'failure' in maths lessons - she shows the kids how something can go wrong and encourages them to pick up 'mistakes' she has made so they see a) that even she gets things wrong and that b)by understanding where it can go wrong, you learn how to better understand the process and are more likely to get it right. DS2 is high achieving and hated showing any weakness, so tends to try to avoid things if he doesn't think he'll be brilliant at them. She's shown him that making mistakes helps you learn. I love her!

[AddToBasket]

Hi Matthew, is it OK to ask about the receiving feedback thing? How to help prepare children for receiving feedback/results regardless of how well or badly they've done. Especially when they might be hugely disappointed (missed uni places, etc) Thanks.

[HarrietMWelsch]

I really enjoyed Bounce, and hopefully now Black Box Thinking. My question is a personal one and not so much about exams but about tennis: why do people I play against (not my daughter though) always call my balls out when they are clearly in?!

(Perhaps this could be applied to exams and competition too!)

[MatthewSyed]

@neolara

Do you have any views about how schools can support children to become more resilient? And how parents can support children who find everything easy and therefore have limited experience of failure? At some point they are going to struggle and I worry that if they haven't had experience of failure, they are not going to know how to best cope.

i like the idea of having a failure week at school; where people talk about when they have failed, what they learned, and how they adapted. This helps children to see failure as part of life and that the most important thing is not to always be succesful (impossible) but to be able to take the risks and face the challenges that help us to grow. James Dyson went through 5,126 failed prototypes before coming up with the design that changed the world. This is ALWAYS how creative change happens. Those who remain in their comfort zone, always succeeding in a very limit sense, are clinging to non-growth!

[MatthewSyed]

@decisionsdecisions123

What to do about the child who seems to put very little effort into study but is apparently capable of achieving decent grades but will resist any form of parental involvement in revision.

Also, what's this about anything less than an A grade not being worthy??

This is really important! Those who succeed effortlessly are the most vulnerable to challenge and failure. There are dozens of kids who go to university, whose esteem is bound up in their constant success at school, who are deeply threatened when they are no longer the best in the class, and where they suddenly find the work more demanding. And they often fall apart.

Always worth emphasizing that when you are being stretched, and therefore learning most effectively, you often hit difficulties and mistakes. That might inspire them to take on challenges that really stretch them (as at the moment, they are just sailing through!). The most important thing is not how we deal with success, but how we deal with failure, if that makes sense...

[guerre]

Erk- it was a huge difficulty for me to teach my children how to work, so that they could make the best of their opportunities. For DH it came more naturally.
It's a very modern thing to constantly praise our little darlings, but thankfully we had made a conscious effort to praise/reward effort, not outcomes. When you are/have extremely able Children, it's hard to get out of the mindset, but it is paying dividends now they're older.
My DD comes home from school, and gets out her books to complete homework without me ever needing to ask, let alone cajole.
She has learnt for herself what hard work can help you achieve, she has seen how practising can improve your skills immensely (v musical). DS is getting there...

[MatthewSyed]

@Arsenicinthesugarbowl

I'd like to know how to help my DD who is 16 and about to take GCSEs manage the pressure of revision while still taking breaks etc. She sits for hours revising and I'm sure that her brain needs some down time. However she worries she will fail otherwise. She tends to get quite anxious about exams anyway so would be grateful for advice on how best to support her!

Great question. Perhaps tell her that many of the greatest ideas emerge during breaks. In fact, there are dozens of research papers on this. It is when we switch off, go for a walk in the fresh air, take a shower, see a bit of nature, that we mentally metabolise the information we have learned, and develop fresh insights. A few short breaks during the day are restorative, and boost memory and creativity!